.::. Parents .::.

One of the best things that you could do for your parents is to let them worry less about you, live well, be well, be happy. Yet it may be easier said than done when what they want for you might not be what you want for yourself, and it becomes a delicate balance.

.::. My Love .::.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

I have been wanting to write about love, about my love, yet love is such a difficult concept to describe so lets just leave it at that. Has it been almost 11 years?

.::. Taking Stock .::.

As we are concluding Q3 and going into Q4, I’m glad that 2015 has been another great year, though not exactly lucky for me. I got into an accident, hurt my feet and lost my wallet the first time in my life.

Most of the goals that I’ve set for this year has been checked off the list though.

I have finished my ACCA exams, and is now officially a CPA Affiliate! Not that I’m going to find another job to be an accountant; nor does this change much of anything. I’m glad that I’m done with studying. Studying while working is really tough, especially if you would actually want to have a life. So glad I'm done with this one. =)

An unexpected event threw us off our plans though – we got a car. Yes, I know, absolutely foolish financially when we do not need a car and have free transport to work. It’s an additional expense of almost $2k if not for some help from this parents. It's still a substantial sum of money that could be invested for early retirement and holidays. Although I’m now excited about having our first ride, I can’t say that this has not weighed us down financially and perhaps mentally. I dislike liabilities and hate having to worry about money. After all the sums, we can probably afford it, but things will be different if kids come into the equation and we can no longer enjoy those amazing holidays. If not for the over-trade rebate from the MIL’s old car, and relatively cheaper COE now, we probably wouldn’t have done it. Having said that, since it’s a done deal, we must make sure that we get most out of the car. I’m already planning weekends out with Chikey, and the many places that I always wanted to go but couldn’t without a car. This almost translates to pay more to spend more. =_=”

And with 9 months on my violin, 6 months of piano classes, I’m preparing for Grade 3 ABRSM exams early next year! It brings me so much joy to be able to do what I love and make so much progress over the months. It’s hard work, but it’s a process that I actually enjoy, more than studying for ACCA!

Fitness wise, I’ve been pretty consistent this year till recently. I love BodyPump and BodyCombat, and all the muscles that I'm building. It feels great being stronger and having the energy to do all I do, though my mum constantly reminds me that I'm too 'fat'. It's annoying, but it's also amazing how because of her, I have learnt to not let peoples' opinion of me bother me too much over the years. Life is too short to bother about what people think. 

And here is a picture of us, scaling 2 volcanoes in Indonesia after our exams. It was another great adventure. We climbed Ijen in the dark, leaving the hotel at midnight and reached the top before daybreak. I hope that we stay fit enough to do this again! And I hope that I get to sit down and write about this trip, and our 10th anniversary trip to Maldives last December. And there was Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh.

The haze is making me so allergic and I’m relying on my inhaler at times. Apart from necessary, I’m hiding at home as much as possible. I have been coughing since weeks ago too. I hope this haze goes away soon! Shooo~

.::.Life's too short.::.

As I jot down my goals and things that I would like to do or places that I would like to visit, it hit me really hard that life is too short.

My twenties simply flew by in a blink of an eye. Poof and I'm almost stepping into my Big 3. How am I going to get so many things done?

There's no better time than now to start doing what you truly desire - a mental note to always follow my heart and not wait for the 'right' time.

.::. Those Days .::.

You know, there are some days when you simply feel like hiding in the covers and not do anything else? Except that it's been quite a few such days in a row and I feel miserable. It must be PMS and period cramps!

It's one of those days when you wonder what are you supposed to do with your life. 

.::. Insurance .::.

This struck home recently as a close one suffered from a sudden heart-attack at barely 40 years-old. Due to proximity and criticality, she was admitted to a private hospital nearest the workplace. Few days and an operation later, the hospital bill came to a 6-digit figure. She’s still in the ICU, and it’s still a long journey ahead. With just the basic MediSave without additional cover, it covers a very small fraction of total cost. It’s really a stressful period as the family have to cope emotionally and financially.

Just this year, we finally sat down to do some financial planning for the family. For years now, since before marriage, I have been trying to get the husband to examine his insurance policies and coverage. Being financially trained, I see the importance of insurance and financial planning early in life, as soon as possible. The husband has been someone who does not like to handle stuff like that. His policies were bought by his parents and he was always told that he ‘has everything’ and is covered, no need for more insurance. This dragged on for years as he was reluctant to take any action.

Finally, we looked through his policies this year as I was also looking to increase my coverage. He has a hospitalization plan that does not cover the deductible portion plus a cap for total claim amount and an NTUC plan that covers a grand total of $25K. Needless to say, I was horrified and insisted on getting him covered. The $25K coverage will not even cover his funeral expenses, I morbidly exclaimed.

My advice to all working adults is to get full hospitalization cover as soon as possible. I’m the ‘buy term and invest the rest’ type, and also have (early) critical illness coverage - 不怕死，只是怕不死。(loosely translated as ‘not afraid of death, only afraid that one do not die’). Any illness or accident can potentially wipe out decades of savings with unimaginable financial and emotional stress for the family.

My dad is someone who does not believe in insurance and always complained about the profits made by insurance companies. He also thinks that it’s ‘expensive’ since insurance companies have the right to increase the premiums anytime during the coverage. However, when premiums increase, it usually reflects the increase in healthcare cost. He also thinks that Medisave ‘is enough’ and he does not mind being treated in public hospitals. However, I beg to differ and have come across so many instances where Medisave is grossly inadequate and that public hospitals might not give the best or even ‘sufficient’ care when you need it most.

I will always remember the sight when we visited his grandmother at Changi Hospital. It was a 6 or 8 bedded non-aircon ward with no full walls across the whole level. ‘Rooms’ were separated by chest-level walls, and you can look across the whole level and hear everything. There were many old people, some in worse condition than others. Many were groaning in pain or perhaps trying to talk. It was a very disturbing sight that never fail to haunt me. I hate hospitals. I have also been to many public hospitals, and the nurses were curt and sometimes rude and lack patience and compassion. Doctors were often trainees who does not seem to be very sure of what they are doing. I have also heard of many horror stories and bad experiences around me. Compare that with a private hospital - the whole environment, doctors and nurses are really a world apart. It really hit me that you get what you pay for. If I ever need the hospital and critical care, I really would want a comfortable environment and not have to worry about bills.

Of course, the best insurance is always taking good care of one’s health with regular exercise and a balanced diet. Go for regular checkups and listen to your body. However, one really wouldn’t know when sickness may hit, especially with longevity. Get insured before anything happens and you become uninsurable. I’m very thankful to have met a really great insurance agent who gives me constant updates and informs me whenever he’s out of town. I am also invested in healthcare stocks and funds, which I believe is a growing yet resilient industry.

Health is wealth and nothing is more important than one’s health! While physical health is the focus here, mental health is also something one should be mindful of.

If you are not covered by insurance yet, please do your family a favor and consider getting covered.

.::. Reconnecting with Music .::.

For a very long time, for some strange reason, music disappeared from my life. I loved music as a child. My dad used to like classical orchestra music and some Chinese pop songs. He always played it loudly on his huge speakers. I also sang karaoke with my aunts and uncles with the huge black disks. I went for those Yamaha music classes at Clementi. I always remembered the tutu-kueh that my dad bought for me after every lesson. But soon, I got bored as the Yamaha group classes spent most of the time singing and clapping and playing using only one hand for the year or two that I had classes there. I stopped lessons after some time, but have learnt how to read notes and play some simple songs. By the time I was in primary school, I wanted to learn the piano, but my parents didn’t allow me to learn. They told me to focus on streaming in Primary 4 before thinking about the learning piano. I naively thought that I could start learning the piano if I did well. When I was finally done and got into ‘EM1’, I asked to learn the piano again. They again refused and asked me to focus on the demanding curriculum in ‘EM1’, and make sure that I do well for PSLE. By then, I was playing the keyboard in our school ensemble and they thought that it was enough. I never asked to learn piano again after that but self-learnt some pieces I liked on the organ that I had at home.

By the time I was in Secondary school, I spent most of my money buying mando-pop and Jpop CDs. My dad used to scold me endlessly about my ‘spendthrift’ habits, money that I saved from that little pocket money I had and money that I’ve saved from working after school when I turned 15. We had a karaoke system at home and some cheap VCDs that my dad got from China. I spent lots of time singing and playing some songs on the piano that my parents got for my sisters. I even wrote some songs with basic cords and sent them out to record companies during those crazy days. By the time I was done with JC, music started draining out of my life. I stopped playing the piano ever since my sisters got better than me. I stopped listening to music because I preferred silence and had simply had no time. I started dating the husband and spilt my time teaching tuition and working part-time outside school. I finally saved enough for my first trip on the plane when I turned 21 with the husband. I’ve no idea when or how, but music just crept out silently and made way for everything else.

I loved the quiet and stillness during the year when I was in Sweden. It was calm and tranquil and I loved seeing the scenery go by when I was traveling on trains or buss around Europe. I loved wandering on the cobbler stones roads and watching the world go by. During those days, the basking violinists on the streets left a deep impression on me. Sometimes it was freezing cold, and sometimes it was sunny and warm, but the violinists on the streets always sounded so beautiful. For the first time ever in my life, I wished that I could play the violin as beautifully.

By the time I’m back, it was all forgotten and tucked behind my mind. I got busy with life again, and then the house and wedding came. It took some time before we’re finally settled down and comfortable before I entertained thoughts of learning the violin again as I’m finishing my ACCA exams. I don’t think the husband truly understands this side of me that he has never seen before in the past 10 years. He might have heard me sing, but never have he heard me play. I don’t think he even believed that I could play any instrument. Even for my closest friends, they probably haven’t heard me play either. Probably only nana who played alongside me on the keyboard in the primary school ensemble remembers me playing.




My beautiful piano was delivered few months ago, and I have been taking piano classes for the past month. I can’t believe it’s happening, that I could be crazy enough to empty my bank account for a long-lost dream at this point of time. I now have a 4-year-old a Yamaha U1 Silent piano that I got second-hand from a parent whose child does not want to learn the piano anymore. Parents buy such expensive toys for their children nowadays! I'm now playing Grade 2 songs on the piano, and it was a struggle trying to relearn what I used to know.

So here I am, half year into learning the violin and playing Grade 3 songs. Although my teacher tells me repeatedly that I’m doing very well and learning very quickly, I always feel that I’m not doing well enough nor fast enough. Maybe it’s me trying to make up for so many lost years, but it suddenly hit me that I’ve lived with a void for so many years. I have forgotten how music fills me with so much happiness and brings upon a firework of emotions in me. I have forgotten how much I enjoy playing music and it really makes me wonder why did I ever stop.

As an adult learner, it’s really an uphill climb that takes some determination and commitment. Although it really helps that I can already read music and have a good feel musically, violin itself is a difficult instrument to learn. It’s getting more difficult as I’m finished Book 2, but my bowing has improved exponentially. I don’t dare to imagine a day that I can play without tapes and can sound really smooth, but I’m just working on sounding better than I did yesterday. I practice almost everyday now and sometimes even I amaze myself at the progress I’m making. I was learning Minute 3 aka Lovers’ Concerto and it was my first time trying to play slurs. It was so awkward and I sounded really horrible, yet after like 3 hours of practice, I started getting used to the bowing and it actually started to sound like a song. Slurs now feel natural! Learning the violin trains my patience and taught me that everything takes time. To get from here to there, it simply takes time and effort. I know that no matter how difficult things may seem initially, it will get easier and I just need to keep going at it. Things simply do not happen overnight, the whole process takes time. It finally hit home that everyone has 24 hours a day and it’s a consistent and persistent choice daily that one has to make to get to where they want to be.

I have no idea what hit me, but after learning the violin, something reignited in me and I feel more alive than ever upon reconnecting with music. I suddenly seek the piece of me that I forgot existed. I suddenly have this urge to play the piano again and to be better than I used to be. Sadly, when I touched the piano again, I can’t remember how to play the songs that I used to know by memory. Playing music sometimes enable you to lose yourself in the melody and to go into another world that is far from harsh reality. I wished that the husband could join me in my musical world and feel what I feel, and I wish that my children can know music and have a place to escape to when reality gets too harsh. I’m thankful that the husband has been supportive all these years – 谢谢你重荣我的随心所欲。He even bought me a music stand and violin stand when I mentioned in passing that I needed to get them. And when I was insistent about getting a piano, so I can learn and have my children grow up in a musical environment, he grudgingly agreed after some resistance with space and noise concerns.

It's amazing how much progress I have made this year, and my teachers are sending me for Grade 3/4 exams next year. I'm really enjoying the process and have hopes that I could finish Grade 8 just so that I can make it my retirement job in future. How amazing it would be to fill my days teaching children music, bringing them into a whole new world. =)

.::. Productive Years .::.

I was reading this article on Bloomberg sometime back. It says that the first 10 years of one’s career would determine the amount of wealth one can make. It makes sense doesn’t it? If you start with a low salary, increment will be slow and people always benchmark your pay based on your last drawn pay. Some may get promoted quickly with some luck, but the odds are against the majority of us. Basically, what it says is that after 35, chances of your pay increasing significantly is very low. This corresponds with the well-known fact that it becomes a lot harder to find another job after you hit 40s. Of course there are always exceptions and outliners, but this probably holds true for majority of us normal people. 

This has triggered a string of thoughts, with the backdrop of across-the-industry job cuts in O&G where I’m currently in. The struggle is real. It can be very unsettling and uncomfortable seeing people you see everyday disappear just like that. We get immediate dismissal here. Get called into a meeting, and someone will inform you that you’re dismissed with immediate effect and you are not even allowed to go back to your desk to pack your stuff or bid your team goodbye. HR and your manager will pack your things for you and escort you out. That’s it, the people you see everyday will just become a memory. People disappear, leave without saying goodbye and come to work not knowing if today will be their last day at work. It doesn't help that they don't do it all at once, and news simply keep coming from everywhere, all the time.

It makes me very sad, though life goes on and people move on. Afterall, a job isn’t everything and losing a job isn’t the end of the world, for most of us anyway. Looking at these unfolding makes me even more wary and determined to work towards financial freedom. Despite being able to survive for easily a year without a job, I really don’t appreciate any setbacks to my retirement plans. I’m most afraid of increasing monthly fixed expenses. As it is now, daily household expenses and insurance comes up to quite a tidy sum of fixed expenses. I can’t imagine how things will become with kids and I can’t understand how people cope with a home with car and maid plus kids. If fixed expenses come up to a few grand a month, how does one save and how long can they survive if they lose their jobs?

It’s so easy to project an increase in salary over the years and correspondingly upgrade your lifestyle. What people don’t seem to take into account into the whole equation is the increasing risk of losing a job as one ages. One may earn more when they are 40s and in a managerial role, but also has a higher risk of losing the job when there’s a downturn and find it harder to find a similar-paid job. Even for civil servants with relatively secured jobs or professionals with specialized skill, one mistake or accident and they may lose their jobs.

Some people tell me not to plan or worry, live a day as it comes. Really? I can’t. I need to work towards my goals to feel secure and fulfilled. I know what it feels like to not have enough money and worry about the next paycheck. It’s not something that I would like to go through again this lifetime. I want to know that I can have the option of not spending my time working for money when I am in my 40s and can instead choose to do something I love with my time, regardless of how much I make. I can imagine spending my time teaching and volunteering, spending time with children and animals, playing music and doing yoga.

I can’t imagine how people could say that they want to continue working for corporations and do not want to retire. It may be great if one really love the job so much, but what I see alot is fear, that they do not know what to do with their free time and themselves. They’ve become so used to the routine of work-life and letting work dictate most of what they do with their time (and life) till they have forgotten how it feels like to spend time doing what they really want or like. Maybe they have forgotten what they wanted and it’s easier to continue a routine without having to give much thought to it.

I always talk about retiring, and people are always shell-shocked and ask what am I going to do? Oh my, there are so many possibilities! These are the same people who tell me that they have ‘no time’ to learn a new instrument that they have always wanted, no time to cook for their families because they have ‘no time’.

For now, I can continue dreaming and work towards the day when I can finally be free to do whatever my heart desires.

.::. Remembering LKY .::.

It has been the talk of the town and seen an amazing outpouring of love for a man who built Singapore. It was really heart-warming to see a divided Singapore coming together during such times. Despite divided political inclinations, I believe most of us Singaporeans see and appreciate what this man has given us.  I do have mixed feelings though. From the love and pride for Singapore, I feel sad that a great man who has built Singapore have left. Part of me feel lost and somewhat worried about Singapore’s future, but another part of me is looking forward to changes that could make Singapore a better place. Perhaps more compassionate and less economically driven by productivity, less like a corporate and more like a family or a place where people feel it’s home. We are no doubt very lucky, but in many ways I wished that we could have done more for our people, especially those who were left behind as we chugged forward.

Revisiting LKY’s life, there’s so much to learn from this man. No man is perfect, but I believe that he has done his best given the circumstances and there’s so much to learn from him.

1.       Love and monogamy

I think this is absolutely underrated in today’s society that places much focus on success at the workplace and amount of wealth. A good and loving marriage is seldom in the spotlight as life’s successes. Moreover, most capable and high-profile people usually crave for power and attention with resultantly common extra-marital affairs and scandals. The love he shared with his wife is so precious. If you ask me, life wouldn’t be in vain as long as one have loved and was loved deeply. Anyone who’s capable of such love over a lifetime can’t be that bad a person.

2.       Determination and faith

This man dedicated his life to building Singapore. His determination and faith is imprinted all over Singapore and how we have evolved over the past 50 years. Simply looking at Singapore today speaks volumes about his determination and faith as we defy everyone’s expectations to become one of the richest country despite having zero natural resources.

3.       Consistency

He is known for being consistent in everything he did. His days were a routine revolving around work, family and exercise. Despite his heavy workload, he always had time for exercise and family, keeping a healthy work-life balance. When asked about his secret to longevity, he said to exercise and eat less but healthily. He was constantly improving himself and keeping himself updated with everything that was going on. Anyone can have goals and many have great ides, yet how many could persist and consistently work towards what they believed in?

4.       Frugality

His frugal ways are extinct in today’s generation. Just look at our elitist MPs who drives cars which are worth more than HDB flats and indulge in all the luxury that you can think of. Many of our leaders today are born with a golden spoon in their mouth and had a very smooth journey in life. How can they really understand how is life really like for the less-privileged in Singapore? Many of them have private sector careers and worry more about how they look rather than focusing on serving the people. LKY was a man who wore the same clothes for years till they had holes and never cared for luxury items. If you were like him, all you think of is probably how to improve things or to tweak plans for Singapore as you take in the developments in the world daily. There will be no time for luxury or fashion! This was a man who truly understood the people then and set out to meet the peoples’ basic needs, building a country where people can be safe, with means to bring up families in a comfortable home in a clean and green city. If Singaporeans were as frugal as him, there really wouldn’t be much complaints. If we did not expect to go on holidays, do not expect much shopping and luxury items, had home-cooked food and took the public transport – how many of us will still struggle to survive and own a HDB? Even kids staying in rental flats have iPhones these days!

5.       Opinionated

He was a man who stood for his beliefs and spent his life defending them. He had very strong opinions and arguments, he always made his points and was able to substantiate his opinions. He never deviated and had something to say to rebut what others’ had to say. He had such clear thoughts that are so closely weaved together. I remember reading his book as a teenager and his thoughts were enlightening although I might not always agree and wouldn’t be so sure that it’s a good idea to be so forthright about it. He is always so pragmatic. What he said about the cost of sustaining an old person despite available technology and the dwindling fertility of women after 35 left a mark on me. He always looked at the big picture. While it’s true that these are individual choices and freedom, but the issues and cost to society as a whole is real. I also agreed with his thoughts about human genes and his view on religion. I love that he insisted to be correct, not politically correct.

We can all argue and point out his high-handed ways that might have destroyed some people and families. But perhaps that is makes him a true leader, because he made those hard decisions and stood so firm, resulting in the birth of Singapore which has benefited so many of us. It also made him human, for it’s not possible to please everyone no matter how great you may be. 

Maybe one can argue that we are so economically driven and competitive that makes Singaporeans are a stressful and unhappy lot. I believe that one’s happiness is a choice and we are not forced to stay here. If somewhere else suits you better, you can always leave for greener pastures. But keep in mind that Singapore is an amazing place to live in and one of the most efficient countries in the world. After visiting more than 30 countries and spending a year in Europe, I still love Singapore and probably wouldn’t want to leave. We can also choose to be more frugal, have lower expectations, consume less and have a less stressful life. Instead, most of us choose to slog for a bigger apartment, a better car, luxury goods and holidays. These are not needs but wants, and how can we blame a man who has fulfilled all our basic needs so well that we are complaining about not having enough wants fulfilled?

The man is no more. While I’m very thankful and grateful for all that Singapore is, I think we need change. It might be a necessity to push everyone so hard then, but now that we are already a developed country, I wish to see a more compassionate Singapore and more policies to support it. It’s all great if we compare ourselves in the region, but when compared against developed countries, we are lagging behind in many areas and there’s so much to learn from other developed countries. My wish for Singapore is to become a developed country with happy people. It may probably take another lifetime for policies to be put in place and people to change their mindset about success and happiness.

.::. Steamed Herbal Chicken .::.

These days, I have fallen in love with steaming. My favorite is steamed herbal chicken with chicken essence. It's so yummy and nutritious, plus obviously healthy! Goes really well with rice!

Generally, marinate chicken and add in some chinese herbs (optional), wolfberries, red dates and pour in a bottle of chicken essence. Steam it for about 30 minutes and you get really yummy and tender chicken!

.::. 2015 Resolutions .::.

1. Be more disciplined with exercise and diet to reduce fat % and become leaner/stronger.

I think I have finally got back on track with my fitness level, becoming more disciplined with my weekly exercise. I feel a lot stronger and toned. Next year’s aim is to reduce fat % and to get leaner/stronger with more consistent exercise and conscious diet choices.

2.Reading more news and books to enrich myself and to meet my financial goals this year.

All goals set this year have been met. We’re in fact ahead of the goals, but it’s an uphill climb that requires patience and endurance. Next year’s aim is to read more and to cultivate more financial sense, expanding the portfolio for more passive income.

3. Learn a new instrument – violin!

I finally took the plunge to get a violin although I’m not confident at all about mastering it. Then again, I’ve a whole lifetime ahead of me! Let’s just hope that I can get the basics and play a few songs next year.

4. Reduce clutter and organize the home.

This requires a lot of work, and yes, I do have many things! Hopefully with exams and less going on next year, I can put more energy to organizing the home.

5. Experiment with new recipes and cook/bake more often.

Although I’ve been cooking very often, I seldom cook the more complicated stuff and seldom bake. Hoping to experiment more and to start baking again.

Of all these, this year’s focus shall be on health. Or perhaps, health should be our focus all the time. It's easy to say that we 'do not have time' for exercise or healthy diet choices in our hectic lifestyles, but it's only when you lose your health that you realize that without health, there's nothing you can achieve or do! For people with desk-bound jobs like me, it's important to get some exercise and incorporate physical activities in our lives. Maybe it's the aging, but I'm becoming so much more health conscious as I feel my physical energy levels dropping. Time to get back into shape!

To another great year ahead~