I never expected to be an exclusively pumping mum even though I knew that I wanted to breastfeed before being pregnant. There were so many wonderful benefits that only breastmilk could provide. It gives your baby immunity, among other benefits that formula milk is unable to replicate. Breastfeeding is now widely encouraged and there's so much more support around mothers to help them succeed, as compared to years ago. The Wong Boh Boi's antenatal class we attended provided a wealth of information and I've joined the Facebook groups to learn all about breastfeeding ever since we were trying to conceive.
My first syringe of pisai lookalike 'breastmilk' on Day 2.
On hindsight, I realized that I have been looking forward to the moment after delivery where there's skin-to-skin and the baby latches for the first time. All the 'breast crawl' videos were entrenched in my mind, and I was looking forward to my magical moment when I meet my baby for the first time.
Except that none of these happened. Life is always as such, isn't it?
Due to the circumstances of Jaime's birth, none of what we envisioned materialized. The husband did not even get to cut her cord. I didn't get any skin-to-skin, and I obviously did not get to latch. Those moments after her birth were a blur and I was in so much pain afterwards that breastfeeding wasn't on my mind at all. Jaime was taken away from me and put on tube feeding the moment I delivered and I was pretty much a wreck.
On the second day, after I was wheelchair-ed to see Jaime in NICU, a lactation consultant dropped by. She was supposed to teach me how to latch while I was almost in tears explaining why Jaime could not latch with her cleft palate. I was somewhat emotionally unstable then, yet she taught me how to hand express and collect my 'breast milk' or colostrum in a syringe. Yes, syringes - I have prepared plenty of them and packed them in my hospital bag yet had zero thoughts of initiating breastfeeding or expressing at all. She taught me how to massage the breast and to squeeze and collect the colostrum. The first time was painful and what we manage to collect was pathetic.
After that one time, I started squeezing my boobs every 3 hours. It was hard work, squeezing and squeezing, yet all I got was barely a few ml of sticky stuff. The husband was encouraging and helped to send my syringes to the NICU, even sent me a picture of it and told me 'good job'. Looking back, it was hilarious, because it was so pathetic, yet it gave me so much encouragement then.
My first syringe of pisai lookalike 'breastmilk' on Day 2.
Since Jaime wasn't with me, I tried to express every 3 hours, though I dragged the night session. I was very tired and drowsy from the painkillers I was taking. It was an uphill climb, but it did become easier. I managed to squeeze a few more ml every time although it was still grossly inadequate. Every drop matters though, and it made me feel less helpless while she was in the NICU. I always looked forward to sending my syringes up for her. The syringes keep filling up, and I stayed for 3 nights.
My syringe on Day 4 morning.
First pump on Day 4 afternoon after I got home.
Total yield on Day 5.
Day 6.
I started using an electric pump when I got home on the 4th day. My first pump yielded 20ml of goodness. I still diligently hand expressed and squeezed out 10-20ml after pumping as the pump 'wouldn't totally empty the breast'. Each session took up to an hour, I rested for 2 hours and tried again. By the 5th/6th day, before Jaime was discharged, she was already fully breastfed as I caught up on her intake. I would go to the hospital with the husband in the morning and he would make another trip down with my breastmilk in the evening.
On the 9th day.
Fridge stash on the 9th day, already ahead of the game.
I started freezing my milk after about 2 weeks. Days before she turned one month, my freezer was filling up and it became clear that I needed more space. I bought a separate chest freezer for my stash around this time.
By 6 weeks, it became apparent that even the chest freezer will fill up in no time and I had to find a solution. I started donating my breastmilk then.
There's so much to learn and to share about breastfeeding, and I never thought I would exclusively pump without latching. I was upset about it for awhile, but I soon realize the benefits of a pumping mom. For one, Jaime is an independent sleeper and started sleeping through the night after 2 weeks. I have also never experienced much pain from breastfeeding nor had any nipple cracks or blisters. Pumping milk should not hurt with the right sized flanges and not-too-strong suction. Many say that you have to latch to have breastmilk supply, but that's not true. I have never ever latched nor had any skin-to-skin with Jaime even till now. At the end of the day, it's a demand-supply thing and as long as you send signals that you need more milk, your body will produce more!
Perhaps I will do another post on 'Tips' about breastfeeding that I can refer back to in future. =)
And here's Jaime at 8 weeks old and 75 percentile, fully breastfed since Day 5:
My syringe on Day 4 morning.
First pump on Day 4 afternoon after I got home.
Total yield on Day 5.
Day 6.
I started using an electric pump when I got home on the 4th day. My first pump yielded 20ml of goodness. I still diligently hand expressed and squeezed out 10-20ml after pumping as the pump 'wouldn't totally empty the breast'. Each session took up to an hour, I rested for 2 hours and tried again. By the 5th/6th day, before Jaime was discharged, she was already fully breastfed as I caught up on her intake. I would go to the hospital with the husband in the morning and he would make another trip down with my breastmilk in the evening.
On the 9th day.
Fridge stash on the 9th day, already ahead of the game.
I started freezing my milk after about 2 weeks. Days before she turned one month, my freezer was filling up and it became clear that I needed more space. I bought a separate chest freezer for my stash around this time.
By 6 weeks, it became apparent that even the chest freezer will fill up in no time and I had to find a solution. I started donating my breastmilk then.
There's so much to learn and to share about breastfeeding, and I never thought I would exclusively pump without latching. I was upset about it for awhile, but I soon realize the benefits of a pumping mom. For one, Jaime is an independent sleeper and started sleeping through the night after 2 weeks. I have also never experienced much pain from breastfeeding nor had any nipple cracks or blisters. Pumping milk should not hurt with the right sized flanges and not-too-strong suction. Many say that you have to latch to have breastmilk supply, but that's not true. I have never ever latched nor had any skin-to-skin with Jaime even till now. At the end of the day, it's a demand-supply thing and as long as you send signals that you need more milk, your body will produce more!
Perhaps I will do another post on 'Tips' about breastfeeding that I can refer back to in future. =)
And here's Jaime at 8 weeks old and 75 percentile, fully breastfed since Day 5:
