.::. The Last Lap .::.

After resting for a few days after the trip, I've been working on the thesis. We don't have that much left, but the last part is the worse part. Reading through more than 60 pages of text, making sure they are free of grammar errors and that the struture flows needs so much concentration.

It's still surreal that everything will end in 2 weeks and the boyfriend will be here. I'm excited, yet somewhat reluctant to say goodbye. I really love having my own place, doing things at my own time and target, being at peace with everything without any comments or 'advices' from people who 'cares for me'. I like all the time alone and being at peace with myself, doing things I like.

As much as I miss all my friends and home, I'm dreading being judged all the time back home. I hate it when people make comments about everything, from your skin to what you eat, to your figure and your choices in life. *sigh. It stirs up negative feelings within me and disrupts my peace with myself. Why do Asians have such culture? Sometimes I think people just derive joy from such mindless gossip and comments.

I've met rather nice people these days. My thesis group mate whom I travelled with invited us for dinner at her friend's place after our thesis discussion at her place. It was a group of nice Chinese and Taiwanese people, who cooks well. I loved the Taiwanese meesua. Contrary to the many stories I have heard about how Taiwanese and Chinese could not be friends due to the political situation, it was heart-warming to see them getting along so well despite their nationalities. Friendships should be like that, yet not everyone could do that.

I went to play badminton with Aom and a very big group of Thai people at Eslov, a town 10minutes from Lund yesterday. They are a community of Thai muslim people who mostly speak Thai, Malay and Swedish. There was one guy who was really good and after 2 hours of badminton, I felt my arms shaking! I was so tired and hungry after that, it's like I felt my body shutdown. It's been a long long time since I felt like that and it's not like I have not been exercising! Perhaps it's the concentration and physical exertion for 2 full hours. Gym was usually an hour and is not that tiring too. Even the hot yoga and kickboxing I do back home isn't that tiring.

After badminton, a very nice couple who is a relative of Aom's roommate invited us to their place for dinner. They cooked chicken rice with some soup and salad. *yums! She even made traditional malay aga-aga and some kuey kuey for us to have with tea after dinner while we watched the Barcelona match.

During times like that, I wished I spoke more malay, so that I can communicate with these people who were so kind to me. My command of Malay is extremely limited, and I mostly learnt them as a kid when I spoke to my maid. I remembered pouring over English-Malay dictionaries and trying to chat with my maid.

I think that it's a very saddening thing that many Singaporeans can't speak Chinese well, or refuse to speak it much nowadays. People just don't realize what a valuable asset it is to have, especially when you are overseas.

Singaporeans are in a rather awkward position. Our English sounds different and most would probably assume that our command of English isn't that good and not many speak good Chinese. Culturally, we are not as open as caucasians yet do not hold many traditional values which the Chinese still hold. It's hard to identify with others because we are a rather unique bunch of people. Caucasians think that I'm weird when I say that I do not like parties nor drinking, yet I find some rather traditional chinese thinking very backward and ridiculous. *sigh! But still, I love to be able to communicate in Chinese with other Chinese people and feel like 'one of them'. Even speaking with my limited command of Malay makes me connected to a part of Singapore. I should ask Nurul to teach me more Malay. Languages are such a powerful tool. Knowing just alittle makes alot of difference!

The worse part of yesterday's badminton is its aftermath. My whole body aches so much this morning, I could hardly move. I think my body is so tired that I feel like I'm going to be down with flu soon. My right butt cheek and right arms hurt so much, I could barely exert any strength with it. My whole back hurts and even my neck hurts! I'm in so much pain now and I feel so lousy!

加油！加油！加油！