.::. A Purposeful Life .::.

It's Teachers' Day again, and I'm always very thankful to receive anything from my students.  It's very difficult to explain the warm fuzzy feeling of satisfaction that I get only from teaching; the feeling I get only from these children that I know I have made an impact on.

I have always wondered why, after to many jobs in the past 15 years, why do teaching still rank top on my list.  During the drive home tonight, I pondered and I think that I might finally have an answer.  Teaching itself is not the most enjoyable thing really, and anyone who has ever tried to teach someone anything will know.  Some days it drains and frustrates me, especially after a long day in the office, but it always pays off.  Apart from knowing that your students really like and appreciate you, I think the most important thing is that children are inherently innocent and straight-forward.  You always know if they are happy or upset, or if they are telling the truth.  However, I realized that the best thing about teaching is that I can truly be myself when I teach.  I am the most honest and sincere when I'm with my students (and their parents).  It's something that truly aligns with my principles and values as a person.  And of course, knowing that you make an impact on someone's life is itself really satisfying.  Every single student that came to me made great improvements.  One of the most memorable moments was when a few of my tuitee saved 20 cents each from their pocket money to buy me a lemon tea from the nearby coffeeshop (because they knew that I like it).  You know that they really like you when they saved their pocket money just to get you something to make you happy.

All these set me thinking yet again.

Recently, a friend said that her son do not really enjoy going to school and prefers to 'nua' at home.  It's partially because the dad is in the property line and is usually 'nua-ing' at home on weekdays, at least that is how the son sees it.  Thus, the son perhaps looks up to his father and naturally wants to mimic him.  In another conversation with a colleague at work, she said that some of her very rich friends continue working simply because they want to lead by example and let their children know that they should work hard in life to get what they want.  They do not want to sit around and let their children know that they can live a good life even without working

These conversations made an impact on me, and made me rethink about quite a few things.  I do believe that the best way to teach your child is to lead by example.  I'm not sure what I might get out of this, but it sure set me thinking.  What values do you want to impart to your children and how do you align yourself with these values?

I think I have more than I ever need, I don't care for power nor title, I don't care to be 'rich' to lead a lavish lifestyle and afford material wants.  I am contented and more than happy with all that I already have, and honestly, I'm not sure if there's anything else that I really want or really matters.  I'm this contented with my life the past 30 years that even if I were to die now, I would die with no regrets.

So, what makes a life worth living?  What makes a purposeful life when at the end of the day nothing really matters, or does it?

.::. Positivity .::.

I started teaching this Primary 6 boy maths early this year. My cousin asked if I wanted to take him up as he was very weak academically and his parents were desperately seeking help. When I started teaching him, he got below 20/100 for his exams. It was truly a stuggle and I suspect that he's slow because he has dyslexia. He was eager to please and adored me. Although we were hopeful for him to pass his CA, he only got 31/100, which was an improvement anyway. By his mid-year exams, he got 57/100 and he's now so much more confident in himself.

I'm preparing him for his prelims now, and I moved his goal up to 70 (from 65) - because I believe that he has room to grow and it's always better to aim for the stars to land on the moon. While looking at his school file today, my heart ache a little upon reading the comments his school teacher made on his work. 'Very poor' appeared many many times, there's also I'm very disappointed with your attitude.' He's a little hyperactive and takes some patience to handle, but he inherently still wants to do better - who doesn't anyway? Teachers should help every child fulfill his best potential and such comments does nothing but hurt a child and makes the lose confidence in themselves. Instead of 'Very poor' why not say 'Try harder'? Instead of saying 'I'm very disappointed' why not say 'I believe you can do better'. No one needs such negativity from anyone and such words doesn't serve much purpose except to demoralize and hurt people.

What we say affects a child more than we ever imagined. I still remember how I felt when my parents told me I was 'lucky' that I got 99 marks and questioned why didn't I get 100 marks instead. Such words can really make a child feel inadequate and unworthy. 

Let's remember to always be kind and to say only positive and constructive things, especially to a child.

.::. People .::.

I came across a quote that resonates deeply with me that day - "No one can ever pay you what your free time is truly worth." 

Ahh. Time. Most (if not all) exchange our time for money. While we may (or may not) enjoy work, there's always an opportunity cost when we choose how to spend our time. At work, I often see people who are so fixated on climbing the corporate ladder in pursuit of certain titles and pay. When they get promoted, they inevitably spend more time on work with more responsibilities, stress and travel. Then, they buy bigger cars, move to bigger houses, yet have less time for their children, family and themselves. It's almost amusing to observe these behavior and wonder, are these truly worth your time? 

It all boils down to priorities, maybe they are truly happy with what they have achieved in life - a title that they wear proudly and the high standard of living.

While work can bring purpose in life, is it truly meaningful when people spend all their time on work to maintain a certain quality of life?