.::. TGIF .::.

This week passed by amazingly fast. There wasn't any lessons, but I probably spent like 3 days putting the 15-page essay together and editiing it - the worst part!



Started the day with a hearty breakfast, bracing myself for final editing of the essay. *yums!

It was a 'warm' day today! All the snow started melting into puddles of water! I smell spring!! It's so much more comfortable with such temperatures.

Notice Kim Yuna on google hot trends! My new idol...shall leave that till another day though.

I made wanton that day, after a long day of essay writing, just after the boyfriend said he had wanton mee for dinner. I can have wanton mee for dinner too, just need alittle more time.

My version of wanton noodles, it was quite good with the sambal chilli I brought over and the black vinegar I just bought. *yums!

I've exactly 3 months left here. The next 3 weeks will be crazy with the presentations, essays and exams. Then, there's a short break before thesis writing. I'm getting used to research and essay writing, so it shouldn't be that bad.

It's ironic, but I think I'll miss life here. I still miss home alot, and I think I am looking forward to be home. I will not miss Sweden as a country or even most things here, especially the inefficiency. What I would really miss is the lifestyle, the life I lead here. I'm mostly occupied by school and essays and readings, but I've time to cook for myself, have dinner with friends, go to the gym, do laundry and grocery shopping, bake and spend some time traveling. I like the carefree life here, I only worry about meeting deadlines and feeding myself.

I can't really remember what I did the past 7 months, it just past me by. There were times when I was really emotional, times when I really reflected on many things in my life and discovered myself. It has been a great journey, an unbelievable journey. I had dreams almost every night when I came back in January, thankfully they subsided and I sleep well again now.

It's hard to hold on to time.

I'm mostly stress-free here, apart from some stress from myself in regards to doing well enough in school. I think the stress will come piling back when I go back, and I'm crossing my fingers that I find a good job that is bearable and earn me enough. I wonder if people really hope or expect me to get married, but I really dread the pressure, dread everyone making references to it all the time. It makes me worried, which probably means I'm not ready yet. I've a morbid fear of living with MILs and the potential conflicts which would leave irreversible scars on my relationship. I do not want to become a christian nor for my kids to be raised up as christians! If I can be worried about the same thing for 2 years and counting, and still couldn't come to terms with it, I really wonder how can I cope with this. I wonder if love could really transcend all boundaries. I love him, but I love myself too. The past 5 years wasn't a breeze, and it is barely the beginning. I'm not sure how much I'm willing to give up, how much I'll willing to sacrifice. No wonder people say that marriage is a gamble, but I don't gamble because I do not like to lose.

I really love staying alone. It's just like what I imagined it to be, only better. Perhaps one of my favourite thing is being able to have my own kitchen and cooking whatever I felt like, not having to account to anyone or make small talk. The time I have alone and the quietness here really brought me peace.

I really would miss life here.