.::. Jetting off .::.

Heading to Poland, Belgium and Netherlands some hours later. =) It's alittle less stressful traveling with more people - 5 of us in Poland and 2 of us in Belgium and Netherlands.

I'm looking forward to Netherlands especially, because I'm finally going to visit Simon! I still remember us visiting CCHS together 10 years ago when I first met him, when he had so much gel on his hair and center-parting. Netherlands seemed so far then. Finally, 10 years later, I'll be there. I'm excited.

My life seem to have become a checklist. I've checked off so many things in the past months, it's like living a dream. Every single place I go, I'll buy postcards and magnets. I'm a sucker for sovenirs. This time, it'll be belgium choclate and tulip gardens. =)

There's still too much on the checklist. Swiss Alps, French beaches, German sausages, Austrian mountains, Italy's Gelato and pasta, Greek Islands, Icelandic geyser, Irish castles and so much more! I don't think I can finish everything this time round though the boyfriend is going to travel with me in June. This calls for another trip to Europe someday.

After I go back to Singapore, I hope that I can still continue striking things off my checklist. Simple things like cooking, baking, scrapbooking, exercising and learning something new.

I knew something was wrong with my life one year back when I was dreading everyday and wishing that time would pass quickly - so that my life can be over quicker? Not a good way to spend my short life really. Hopefully, after some conditioning these months, I'll be back stronger and better.

Traveling does weird things to your mind, and I like it.

.::. Chinook .::.



I miss that boy. He's so comfortable on the sofa these days. Totally spoilt!

.::. Accountants' Night .::.



Spent Saturday morning baking. Tried making moist chocolate cake and the french salty cake - curry chicken version! I loved it. Emma tried the carrot with bacon one the last time, and it was great too. I'm falling in love with savoury cakes!

Brought the chocolate cake over for the class party tonight. Ironically, this is the first bigger gathering we had as a class - after all our classes and exams were over. It's good though, perhaps accountants are generally more boring and needs more time to warm up to each other.

Thanks to Fai's and Aom's invitation, the crazy accountants night materialized.

It has been a great night. I love thai iced-tea. =)

.::. Spring .::.

Bidding goodbye to exams felt really great, especially when Spring is creeping in. The weather changes are really amazing. Just 4 weeks ago, I was walking home with Emma as it was snowing heavily. Today, the thermometer showed 21 degrees while weather forecast showed 14 degrees. It was an unusually warm day. It was almost like when we first arrived in August. Somehow, it felt like I've walked a big round and now, I'm almost at the end of the journey.

I finally realized why people love the sun and Spring so much. The change of season really brings about a change of mood too. Spring seem to bring hope, together with the sunshine and blooming flowers. You can see so many more people on the streets on warm days like today. People are apparently in good mood, eating ice-cream, sitting around. The atmosphere is simply amazing. It's like the whole city is smiling.

As much as winter could bring with it lots of inconvenience and bitter cold and gloom, I think I still prefer having the four seasons to none. That is even when the winter is so long and bitterly cold - that says alot.

It's hard to put it into words, but I like the way your mood changes with the season, just like the fashion and things you do. You're more aware of time passing by, and simply seem to cherish time more. This is unlike the boring all-year-round summer we have back in sunny island - Singapore! Most of the time it is too hot and it puts us in a foul mood. We don't enjoy the sun though we see it almost everyday.

I was walking around in jeans and tee today, and it felt so good. I can't imagine how I can survive when I go back. It's 10 degrees and my window is perpetually open these days. Then again, people always underestimate their adaptability. If I could survive in -25 degrees weather, I'm sure I'll be fine when it's 30 degrees too.

Now that we've almost finished our course (except for the thesis), I'm getting nostalgic. I'll miss the people and the lifestyle here so much. As much as I hate the inefficiency and the lack of variety here, I'll miss the people and the things we do here together.

I'm really going to cherish my last 10 weeks here, before I wake up from my dream.

We all know that, in no time, we'll be back where we came from. Everything will be the same, yet totally different.

.::. Exams, be gone! .::.



Spent the previous week hiding at home, worked on the home exam for 2 days and spent the weekend mugging for my 'last' written exam (at least for a student). *yaaayyy!! Both were pretty alright, no need for any re-exam! =)

Tried a relatively more difficult recipe for my pistachio chocolate cake, and it turned out great. We had a hard time trying to crush the nuts without any blender!

Spring is definitely here. It's sunny most of the days and temperatures are 'warm'! *yayyyy!

.::. Dinner .::.

This week's dinner was prepared by Anny and I, we had fried rice with japanese curry. They loved the japanese curry, but well, nothing special for us, so no pictures!

The highlight of the night was Emma's typical french dessert.

Stuffed with ice-cream and topped with melted chocolate.

Profiteroles!! Super yums. I like puffs, ice-cream and chocolate, so obviously I liked it...I shall try to make it and give 'Beard Papa' a run for their money..hahas..

Had a quiet dinner with Emma after studying in the Harry-potter-like library and gym on Friday night since both of us have exams next week. I swear the library looks totally like the ones from Harry Potter, but it's too quiet and I can't snap a picture inside. She made a typical french dish - Tomate Farcie which she had often as a child. It's simple, but *yummms.

I think it's the first time I had oven-cooked rice, as in, putting hard uncooked rice into the oven to cook it. And I came to know about 'salty cakes' with things like cheese and bacon which they have for appetizer. Shall try making that soon!

Can't wait for Monday's exam so I can get it done with!

Then, it's gym, baking, cooking next week, followed by Easter holidays! =)

10 weeks!

Back to my books. Ciao~

.::. Happy 63rd .::.

Every 18th of the month, I lament upon how fast time has passed. Has another month passed me by again?

I'm a lucky girl. I'm happy.

We were talking about our future and having kids, because my parents were so paranoid about my seemingly extreme thoughts. They were concerned enough to email me long mails and recommend that I talk to my aunt who has difficulty conceiving as she got married late. They are that extreme, and it drives me crazy.

He said that if we didn't want kids, we shall not get married, then buy 2 HDB flats after we turn 35, rent it out, before getting married. And if we spend all our savings traveling Europe every year, we shall go work in MacDonalds when we are old, since we have no kids to support us.

It made me laugh, imagining both of us old, working in MacDonalds together.

That's why I'm still crazy about him after 63 months. He understands me, he makes me laugh, he makes everything seem easier and I know that I can trust him. And because we know each other so well, many things could be left unsaid and we simply 'know'.

No one else would encourage me to follow my dreams and understand my thoughts like he does. I don't think I'll feel the same about anyone else again. Thank you my dear.

If I don't marry him, I don't marry. Period.

.::. Making Sense .::.

Perhaps the worst thing about the Singapore culture is that nothing makes sense to them unless it could be calculated into dollars and cents. Our lives is like a balance sheet, which leaves no room for invaluable experiences, unless it comes with dollar and cents too. Where do you put those, or give a value to these experiences?

I'm marching towards a quarter of a century old. I don't want to be rich, I don't care if I will suffer without enough money for old age. I don't mind dying early, as long I can accomplish what I set out to do this lifetime. The richness and happiness in my life shall not be calculated by its length or the dollars and cents, but by my experiences and moments I feel thankful for.

I was brought up to think in dollars and cents but I refuse to program my life that way though I'm very much being moulded that way.

I want to spend months in France to learn French and to learn baking. I want to spend more months in Japan to perfect my Japanese. Then, I want to spend months traveling to meet more people and experience life.

It's good to have dreams. Some people follow their dreams while some people stay constrained by boudaries and expectations of others.

I'm not sure which am I yet.

.::. Artsy Fartsy .::.

Some of my favourite shots of the day.



I'm in Sweden.

Perfect harmony.

One of my favourites...you can see the sun, clouds, sea, Oresund bridge to Denmark and grass.

Ultimate combination of the sun and ice floating on the sea.

.::. Fun Shots .::.



Me and Jessica.

Jason and Emma wins hands-down!

Jump!

Holding the tallest building in the whole of Sweden.

.::. Lovely Sunday .::.

We went for a walk with Emma and Jason after lunch. It was another beautiful sunny day.



With Emma.

Jessica, Emma, Me.

Emma and Jason.

Ice, clouds, blue skies and sun.

I'm gonna miss these.

.::. I'm Hainanese .::.

I'm finally certified 'Hainanese'. Hahas...

Jason came to visit Emma all the way from France this weekend and they came over for lunch this afternoon. Obviously, I tried to cook something nice for them and Hainanese Chicken Rice is as Singaporean as a dish can go.

It's my first attempt at trying to cook Hainanese Chicken Rice from scratch. It's impossible that I'll cook this back in Singapore, when I could simply go and have my favourite 'Five Star Chicken Rice' easily? It's different here though, you simply reproduce whatever you felt like eating.



Here's me with my chicken. It has been cooked and soaked in ice water, waiting to be dripped dry. It's the first time I cooked a whole chicken, thank god the insides were already cleared when we bought the chicken. It feels somewhat weird holding a whole chicken.

Here's my chicken rice waiting to be cooked. I've stir-fried it with grated garlic and ginger, before cooking it with the chicken stock from my chicken.

My chicken cut up. The first time I cut a whole chicken too!

The Singaporean meal - Hainanese Chicken Rice. *yums! It actually tasted really good, though it took me 2 hours to prepare this meal.

I love the lifestyle here. If I were back in Singapore, I probably wouldn't cook like this anymore.

Mental note: Learn how to cook 'real' hainanese chicken rice from Joel's cousin's wife's father (who had a Hainanese Chicken Rice stall) when I get back.

.::. Grecian .::.

I love this dress!

.::. Melodifestivalen Finals .::.

Anna won, her voice is quite special. My favourite line..."This is my life my friend, I can be no one else."




Salem came in second. He's kind of my favourite though he don't look very good...My favourite line "I was aiming for the sky, ended up flat on the ground...but once again the sun is rising, I'm gonna keep on walking, keep on walking.



I quite like them! They sang a verse in the interview, and it was in perfect harmony. Think they got 3rd or 4th.



He got 3rd or 4th too. He's probably the cutest in the competition.

Maybe I got used to the Swedish style. I don't find it so hilarious anymore, and I quite enjoy the finals...so...it's the Eurovision contest next!

.::. Beautiful Saturday .::.

2 of the roommates friends came over to stay last night after a concert at a nearby club. We woke up and walked along the beach to this indoor scouts flea market about 30 minutes walk away.



It was such a beautiful day. Lovely. Sweden can be really beautiful when the sun shines.

Outside the building where the flea market was at.

The roommate and her classmate who is a scout volunteer.

It's like our expo halls, with all sorts of second-hand things on sale. Most of the things are really cheap. I got an almost-new novel for 5kr (SGD$1) and a long cardigan for 20kr (SGD$4).

.::. Cheese & Wine .::.

Yesterday was 'Cheese & Wine' night at Dorota's place, just 5minutes walk away. =)

Each of us were supposed to bring a cheese and some wine, while Dorota baked fresh bread to go with it.



She stays with her boyfriend in this really cosy apartment.

I love the slated walls.

It's the first time I stepped into a cheese shop to get cheese. I'm totally overwhelmed by the different types of cheeses, and embarassed to know practically nothing about it. The shopkeeper was this really nice old Swedish man who explained alot about the different types of cheeses to me. He even invited me back to his shop to have 'cheese lessons' when I'm free. He's quite curious about Singapore and how are are so modern and have English as our native language regardless of ethicity.

I got a strong swiss cheese called Appenzeller. It's really stinky, but perfect for that German dish...A bit too strong to go with bread for me though. My favourite was the 'Barvarian Blue' german cheese.

Here are some of us, trying to make sense of the different cheeses.

It was a nice Friday evening, lazing around and chatting with people. I will miss these dinners/gatherings the most when I go back...It's different when you live with your parents, and you won't get to enjoy such evenings. It's really relaxing and slow-paced here.

I'm super lousy. I always have a 'hangover' or headache after having wine the night before. I only had a glass and totally didn't feel anything last night, but I always seem to have a headache the day after. *sigh.

Wine gives me headaches???!

.::. Men .::.

I've been following the biggest news back home - the Jack Neo saga, since my little brother told me about the gossip excitedly a few days back. I don't like him to begin with and never really liked any of his movies. Somehow I just didn't liked him despite the craze about all his movies and reputation.

Seriously, he's so old and isn't even charming at all! He's so sick to be using his fame and power to hit on those young girls - the youngest one is 16 and just 2 years older than his own daughter. I'm truely disgusted! I can't comprehend what sort of men could do such things. Some people says that his personal life should be kept separated from his work, but I find it difficult to evaluate both separately since his work is built around morals and certain values such as the family unit in the Singapore society. Moreover, supporting him merely puts him in the position to exploit more guilliable, young girls.

It's amazing that people are commenting about how ugly the girl is and how women try to use seduction to get them to places. Arghz! But these girls are so young, and probably naive. He's the old guy who is preying on them! It seems like the men could do no wrong in this society, it is always natural for men to stray and be forgiven.

I pity the wife, since she has been married to him for 27 years, which means she married him when she was only 19. You can imagine that he is the core of her life, her everything. *sigh. It's no wonder she 'closes one eye' for the family and the kids.

It's no wonder why so many are starting to lose faith in the institution of marriage. It's saddening. This is worse than Tiger Wood. There are so many scandals out there that you ain't really surprised when things like this happen anymore. Desentized. Do fame and wealth really induce men to be unfaithful, eroding morals and values?

Single people out there lament about their loneliness and long to have someone special. Couples struggle to compromise and cope with various conflicts to maintain the relationship. Married couples struggle to keep the flame alive while coping with the many demands and pressure from marital life.

The irony of it all. Men. Life.

There are times I wonder, why do we choose to live life as such and to be subjected to so much pressure. Why do we want so much? Why do we try so hard? Why must I worry about saving for old age and illness? Why must I work so hard? Why must I find a good job and work 12 hours a day? Why must I get married and have kids?

Why can't I simply find a small hut and enjoy the rest of my life without all these worries and pressure?

My brother was telling me that he wanted financial freedom. It is ironic because our idea of financial freedom is to be able to afford things that we want without worrying about money. It is precisely all these wants such as houses, cars, luxuries which prevents us from having any freedom as we get tied down by loans. It's our wants which prevent us from having any freedom, having to slog our lives away for this so-called financial freedom.

Men. People. Life. Why. Sigh.

.::. Aftermath .::.

After THE presentation last Friday, Tao, my groupmate and thesis partner invited me over to her corridor for lunch.



She cooked some delicious chinese dishes and even oven-baked apples with cinnamon for lunch!

*yums!

It was a beautiful day.

I went shopping and got a ZARA cotton blouse for SGD$15!!! I went to the Asia market to get some stuff and even treated myself to a Lychee Drink ($1.20).

Last Friday was worth celebrating, because we did really well for our presentation. It was THE presentation and we were pretty stressed up about it since the previous groups were really strong. This module is about organizational culture, strategy and leadership, so we have 2 case studies to analyze and to write a one-page reflection for each everyweek. Everyone will be in-charge of one of the case study's presentation, and this week was our turn.

We got the case study on Tuesday and spent the next few days preparing for our report and presentation for Friday. Thus, this was a really stressful week. Our topic was on Organizational Identity, and I've read all the literature in preparation for this report. I dislike presentations because I worry so much about it. I'm not a natual at public speaking and I get really nervous!

Despite the drama lessons I had as a child, I was never confident about public speaking. Even during performance in those drama classes, I worried about it alot. When I was in Primary school, I remembered that I was selected to represent my class in a story-telling competition which I had to speak on stage during assembly, infront of the whole school. I spent weeks going through that story with actions and all, going through it so many times because I was so worried! I think I told my story just like how I rehearsed despite feeling really nervous and got 3rd for my level.

Then, during Secondary school, I represented the class in debate competitions despite my fear of public speaking. Part of me really wanted to get over that fear. I remembered preparing extensively for those debate sessions, going through lots of materials and formulating my arguments. We went through many rounds and got into the final which was held in the auditorium at assembly. We lost at the final and was runner-up at the end. Though I managed to get the best speaker award for some rounds, only my partner sitting beside me knew how vigourously my hands were shaking while I spoke. He was really amazed that my hands were shaking so badly, yet my voice was loud and strong. It was really mind over body, and I tried so hard to supress my nervousness, making me really tired after every session.

I also hosted the Chinese Orchestra concert and some school events during Secondary school, but those weren't that bad. Although I don't feel as nervous about public speaking nowadays, I still worry alot before it and need to spend quite abit of time to go though my presentation. Nowadays, I worry alot before the presentation. But when it comes to the real thing, I am actually relatively calm. I find confidence from my own strong voice as I speak. Performing and public speaking is still very much an internal struggle for me. I have not screwed up - yet, and usually do well, but I'm simply really worried. Sadly, I'm not one of those who enjoy performing or speaking in public though I know that I could do well if I really tried and I ain't that bad as a speaker.

So, it was really an achievement when the response was good and the lecturer even came up to us and told us that "It was good, really good, I'm impressed." A guy sitting behind us also came up to us to tell us that we did really well. And to add to our achievement, a girl whom we have never spoke in class approached us in the supermarket after class to tell us that the presentation was really good.

It really meant so much.

A moment of victory.

I think I need to have more faith and confidence in myself.

.::. Alex' Birthday .::.

We celebrated Alex's birthday with dinner at an Italian restaurant followed by party at a corridor this Saturday night.



The birthday girl. Alex is this German girl from the south of Germany. She's 1.8m tall and really kind.

Her good friend, Julia made this traditional german birthday cake for her. Both of them have dinner with us often and Julia is one of the cheerful-est person I've met. It's like the sparkle in her eyes and laughter is infectious.

My Valentine. Hahas.



At the Italian restaurant for dinner. Emma, Julia and Alex.

This Exlim is really lousy! Super grainy in low light conditions. Even photo-editing functions could not save the pictures. =( I miss my Ixus so much. *sigh!

.::. Sunday Stroll .::.

After brunch, Emma showed me many french baking websites. The pictures really made me drool and wished that I could read French.

We went for a walk after brunch to digest our food. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon, the temperature is really comfortable and there was the sun and blue skies!



The area around her place was so quiet and calm. My favourite thing about Sweden is its beautiful landscape and quiet surroundings and fresh air which really makes you feel at peace with yourself, in sync with and just as calm as the nature.

=)

The ponds have defrozen and there were beautiful swans and ducks swimming in the ponds.

The best friend I made here.

Now that we have barely 3 months left here, we really do cherish the times here alot more. I will miss our gyming and baking sessions, the nights when we walked back to her apartment together in the cold.

Just 2 weeks ago, we were walking back to her apartment at midnight as it was snowing heavily. It was that night, that she said she would think of how we walked back in the heavy snow when she's back home in France. It was just a few words, yet laden with meaning. We both know that our path crossed with the help of fate and in no time, we'll be back to where we belong. I will remember that night too, together with the many happy memories our friendship has brought us in this foreign land. Perhaps, it was our home-sickness and love-sickness, together with our gluttony which sealed our friendship.