.::. Balancing Act .::.

This was about a month ago, during a company event to Sentosa Island, Megazip adventure park. Honestly, it was a huge challenge for me since I'm afraid of heights!



The view from the Megazip platform and the beach. It's a very steep plunge!

The first stop was some obstacle course on the ropes. It was so scary! I had to balance and walk on a rope, holding on to things like that ball above and some ropes. It was quite a distance from the ground, and I can't imagine lossing balance!

It just took me alot of concentration and focus, I just tried to feel my body and look straight ahead.

My second stop was the megazip because I skipped the parajump - which is like a freefall. You just jump down a platform with a rope behind u, like jumping down a building. I just couldn't bring myself to do it!

I was really feeling scared looking down from the platform. But there was no other option since we had to get to Siloso beach and I simply can't back out. It was really quite steep and fast, my heart nearly popped out during the first few seconds. It got slower and better after the inital plunge, and I realized that going down with ur back first was less scary. It was actually quite fun, I thought of taking pictures from there, but obviously I didn't manage to.

It was really fun, and a big accomplishment for me!

.::. Marriage? .::.

Realizations:

(1) IF, we were to get married, we need at least 30 tables. We counted, both of us have very big families and there's his mum's clients. It's costly! Moreover, it's not something I really look forward to - imagine planning it and having to entertain and take pictures with more than 300 people on that day, the different opinions and wants of everyone. He stated the obvious - wedding dinners are for parents.

(2) I need to have a church wedding, his mum said so. It's nice, I like it - but I'm not a Christian. I heard that to have a church wedding, I'll have to go through a counselling session and sign an agreement that I'll bring up our children the christian way - something which I'm strongly against. Why? Because do not want to bring up my child telling him that there is only ONE god and he must serve him. I want him to be know that there are many religions around, many 'gods' around, and really understand religion before he makes his own choice. Can I insist on having a temple wedding too?

(3) We cannot buy our own place and I'll never get to deco my own house.

I'm really not sure how much I can compromise and give up. I don't see any benefits of getting married, when nothing is what I want. It's all about what other people wants.

Who cares about what I really want for MY wedding?

I was telling him, how I know I'll never ever be happy working for a corporation who do not give a damn about their employees who are easily replaceable anyway. I'll never be really happy being an accountant or a financial analyst or even a CFO. All these achievements are just, pointless to me at the end of the day. I'll work, just for practical reasons, to earn money.

He told me, I had a choice. If I really wanted, I could start my own business, open my own cafe and go learn baking in France. He's even willing to support me if he could. WOW - at least I've got the man right (I think). Realistically, I do not have a place to practice. Just look at my kitchen, nothing delicious would ever come out from a messy kitchen! Which comes back to (3) - I can never have my OWN kitchen to cook and bake and entertain guests.

I feel less trapped, knowing that I still have many choices. But it takes alot of courage to stand up for what you want, against what everyone wants for you, not knowing what the outcome will be.

Every girl yearns for the perfect wedding, and half of me do yearn for that. Yet coming to reality, nothing about the wedding is what I really want. I tell people, I'm not sure what wedding I really want. Secretly, I don't dare to want or expect anything because I know that I'll be sorely disappointed. I'd rather try to not expect or want anything. I'm going to be very upset (for life) if I'm not happy on my wedding day.

The other half of me, intends to avoid my own wedding till 5 years later like what the boyfriend plans. Maybe buying my own flat at 35 does not seem like a bad idea either. Sometimes, I just do not know what I really want. It's not like what I want could ever be materialized anyway - it's just about how much compromises I'm willing to accept, and I'm really not sure.

At the end of the day, there are many different ways to live one's life.

Marriage? Seriously, not now, not the near future.

.::. Sunday brunch .::.

There's many delicious food around Joey's place, and one of my favourite is the mee pok!

It's really nice, arguably my favourite meepok in Singapore. It's one very simple yet Singaporean dish which I missed so much in Sweden. I made my own substitute noodles with sambal chilli and black vinegar, but it never even tasted close!



There are a few 'famous' ones around his place, but this is the original one. It's called 132 mee pok, used to be at Jalan Tua Kung. ieatishootipost rated it 4.5/5 and there are many 'fake' ones around. The wait is at least 30 minutes and many people queue up for it willingly. They'll be moving to Marine Parade soon though.

I love it, because the noodles is very 'springy'. After having the mee pok there, I never do order mee pok at normal foodcourts anymore. I'd always try to have the best!

Having said that, I like the 'fake' Jalan Tua kung mee pok at the coffeeshop beside the NTUC too. I like it that they're very generous with their chilli and vinegar, it's so spicy that it's very shiok for me - I love my food spicy. However, the standard there is not always consistent, it doesn't taste good at times, when it's too dry and less 'springy'

Overall, I reckon the 'original' one tastes better!

Nice food around his place includes the original FuLin yong tau hu that Jo likes, the famous chicken rice and the famous zhe cha opposite his place. We eat alot at Katong area too! Katong's Aston seem to taste better than the other outlets somehow.

The boyfriend 'brushing' Chinook's teeth after I cut his nails. He's so cute.

We spent the weekend watching the F1 race, watching a movie on the laptop, and...sleeping. Hahs. While I do not get all the hype about the F1 race, I did get alittle excited watching the race. Too bad Hamilton got our of the race - stupid Webber!

It's Monday - again! *sigh.

At least I enjoyed my weekend.

.::. Girly Saturday .::.

I've been looking forward to this weekend, because I (finally) have no classes and the girls are meeting up for brunch and shopping! Jo's been making me really charged and excited this week, it puts me in a good mood everyday. Hahs!

I got up bright and early and got to Wild Honey at about 1010am. Goodness, it was already crowded on a Saturday morning. By the time we managed to go in, it was already past 11am.



I like the feel of the place. It's so homely/cosy, and it tries to mimic breakfast at home. It has such a causasian feel to it, the idea of getting up for brunch/breakfast in a cosy setitng.

My 'European' breakfast with eggs benedict. I love eggs for breakfast and I prefer a savory breakfast to a sweet one anyday. I like all sort of eggs, english-styles, chinese soft-boiled styled with dark sauce, scrambled, sunny-side-up. Hard-boiled eggs are my least favourite. I prefer bacon and ham with eggs and baked beans to pastries and scones too. The only difficult choice is pancakes/waffles with maple syrup - I like that though it's sweet.

Breakfast reminds me alot of my life in Sweden. I made my own breakfast often, met up with Emma and the girls for home-cooked brunch often. We made our own scones and pancakes, tea, coffee and all. I liked making scrambled eggs with bacon and toast, sometimes with sausages and baked beans too. Those were the days, happy and stress-free with lots of time on hand.

With dear Jo, who looks so young here! Why huh? Is it the 'glow'?

With dear Ju and her beautiful drink!

It's been forever since I shopped like that for the whole day with the girls! We went to all the branded jewellery and dress shops, it has been tiring but fun.

There's still lots of stuff to be done, but I'm really excited! *jumps around.

.::. It's Friday .::.

It's finally Friday and I'm so tired!

Little brother is back home. =)



The boyfriend finally got his pair of customised Oakley with degree. He has been wanting them for years, and I think he looks good in them. Hahs.

I'm looking forward to brunch and the search for 'the perfect dress' tomorrow!

.::. Exertion .::.

I finally went for Bodycombat/Kickboxing after more than a year because the class at Suntec is always full even when I tried calling in advance! I went to the Vivo branch today and it's so much less crowded. I almost forgot how much I enjoyed it. I love the energy and intensity of the workout, it lets out alot of frustration when you continue screaming while punching with all your might even though all your muscles are screaming in protest. It just feels so good! I love that it's a whole-body workout and an exciting one at that (unlike jogging for me). By the end of the hour, I was so tired. I was feeling alittle giddy after the workout and I'm 101% sure my thighs, arms and back will be aching tomorrow. This is totally opposite from yoga which brings you calm with the breathing and stretching. I actually enjoy both.

Age is really catching up. You can feel it, subtly but surely. It takes alot more effort to maintain one's fitness and metabolism level. Even when it comes to skincare and maintainance, it takes more effort too.

I've only been working for 6 weeks, yet I can totally feel by butt and hips expanding and filling up my chair! Exercise once a week doesn't seem enough at all. My colleague was telling me, as you start to age, you can feel your body going downhill, even when you eat something. Exercise is a case of diminishing returns and you get less returns from your workout as you age. That - coming from a woman who has had 3 kids and has more muscles and stamina than most men - is indeed scary.

I feel tired today, in a good way. It was been a good workout and I welcome the aches tomorrow. At least my muscles are talking to me, which means that they are still there.

What I love about my current job is that my colleagues and bosses are really nice and that I don't have to work late. Some work-life balance and some time for personal goals injects some happiness into one's life.

.::. Reality check .::.

I have been dreaming about Sweden alot lately. I was strolling on my favourite beach, the sky is so blue, it's so sunny, yet it's so cooling and I'm feeling totally at peace, breathing in the crisp fresh air. Seriously, I have never felt more at peace with myself when I was there.

Since I'm back, I'm constantly on my toes. There's seemingly endless things to do everyday and I hardly get enough rest to actually stop and really reflect on things I've been doing. I just have to keep going and tick of things on my to-do-list. I simply do not have time for everything. I wished I had more time to rest, to sleep, to spend with the girls, to stay at home, to be with the boyfriend and to simply do things I feel like. It's like a constant fight against time and I'm always at the lossing end.

I seldom look at my watch in Sweden. There are days which I wake up, make myself a delicious breakfast, go online to catch the boyfriend, then stroll to the beach for a walk and pick up stuff from the supermarket on the way back. I never had to rush, and I can come back to cook, to read and to do whatever I felt like doing.

I have to remind myself that I'm back in Singapore and that's city life.

It's officially Monday. So, what have I done this week?

It has been a hectic week with all my montly reviews. But I'm done with most of the work for the month, the next 2 weeks will be relatively slow. =)

I survived this crazy weekend, 20 hours of classes. I can only find solace in having my favourite tau huay near midnight, after many hours of class. Then we had Udders' with waffles before going for class on a Sunday. Thankfully class actually ended early enough for us to catch the Man Utd - Liverpool match tonight. Man U won! It really feels like we're stealing some time to be together.

There's the meeting up with my ex-colleague for dinner, followed by drinks with the girls on Friday night too. I've been drinking quite a bit this weekend, I'm all red with bloodshot eves tonight.

Ahh. I'm looking forward to the next few weeks because Jo is getting ROMed and there seems to be like lots of things to do. *excited. I'm looking forward to next Saturday's brunch and dress-hunting! It's so girly and I can't believe it's 10 years since we were secondary school kids.

I've no lessons the next 3 weekends! I just have to be disciplined enough to find some time to finish all the homework. And I'm lookin forward to some yoga since I skipped it last week. I totally need some yogaaaa.

I guess I'm starting this week with a relatively positive note. =) Bring it on!

.::. 69 months .::.

It's the 18th again, our 69 month anniversary. =) Although we don't celebrate it (at all), I always make it a point to remember the date and feel thankful for having someone in my life.

Now that our dear Jo is getting married, or ROM (*excited), it makes one even more reflective about relationships.

Every relationship has its own set of problems and sometimes people who love one another do hurt each other. But I'd always like to believe that no problem is too big for two to solve if both are willing to put in the effort and simply try. Once one party gives up, the relationship is over.

Relationships are hard work and takes time to grow and nurture. Marriage takes even more hard work and probably faces alot more problems. It's a scary thought for me, when all other forces come to play. As much as I would like to have someone to cuddle in bed with every night, marriage is totally not on our (my) cards within the next few years.

Mummy says that marriage is a gamble. It's true, it takes a leap of faith and faith is believing in the unknown - blindly, simply believing and hoping although nothing is absolute.

I'd always like to believe that things happen as long as you have enough faith.

*sigh. We have all come such a long way and I'm feeling all warm and mushy inside.

How time flies!

.::. Humour? .::.

The boyfriend says the most =_=" things ever, and you can't decide if it's funny or what.

We were having dinner at Morton's (this famous restaurant for steak) for his birthday. I love it when they serve their famous warm lava chocolate cake for FREE and sing a birthday song for you. I heard that it costs about 30 bucks if you actually order it. So, when I was enjoying the smooth warm chocolate, he suddenly commented...

"Woah, imagine you can eat TWO Astons' steak!"

Then, when I was still enjoying the cake, he suddenly made another comment...

"There's alot of foreign talent here hor?"

Goodness! The waitress and waiters are a diverse bunch of people, seemingly not many Singaporeans. But still, what a comment!

He says the weirdest things which makes me go..... =_="" ??!!

.::. Crazy Men .::.

Today, I saw a crazy man on the road, trying to block cars from moving. He left this long metal thing that looks like a gun on the floor and was shouting and gesturing with his hands. He even banged on the bonnet of cars who had to stop in-front of him.

It's the second time I saw such an incident this month. The last time was outside 126 when we were having supper after my class. He threw his backpack on the road and started blocking cars, banging on them and shouting.

I don't know what happened at 126, since that man was no longer there after we finished supper. But at City Hall today, the police came. I went to get my DSLR accessories at Peninsular and saw a commotion when I came out. That man was lying on the floor, curled into a ball, shouting god-knows-what. 2 policemen stood beside him and looked at him, looking seemingly helpless. People were gathering around them, taking videos and pictures

I wonder what did they do with people like that. I reckon all the police could do is remove them from the roads and perhaps inform their family to bring them back.

Is it a coincidence that I've been seeing incidents like these recently, or is it that more people are going crazy? And why has stopping cars on the road become so popular?!

Is Singapore becoming too stressful a place to stay in, resulting in more people going crazy?

Food for thought.

.::. His Bday BBQ .::.

@ his place



Us, with his favourite pandan cake, probably the only cake he actually eats. Thanks Ju for going to get it!

'My' friends who has become 'his' friends too.

'His' friends, whom I haven't seen for a long time.

I don't like the differentiation! Friends are friends, right?

Jo's so happy while Joey and Shing is 'examining' his present. Hahas.

I hope everyone had fun, especially the birthday boy.

Many thanks to everyone who made this happen. It's nice to have everyone gather and laugh together. I love hosting gatherings and parties, that's why I really want my own place badly!

.::. Long Weekend? .::.

The 'long weekend' flew past. Monday is peeking again. I realized that I only have some time during Sundays to reflect on my week before the week goes into full throttle again.

So, what have I done this 'long weekend'?

I brought my sister to the movies on Thursday, since she wanted to watch 'Liar Game'. By the time I hit the sack, it was already 2am.

I was supposed to have brunch with the girls at PS Cafe on Friday morning before class, but I really couldn't. I felt to tired and flu-ish. I ended sleeping in and finishing up on homework before rushing for classes. I had dinner with Joey after classes and went to get stuff for the BBQ on Saturday. After getting the meat and wings marinated, I only made it to bed at 2am again!

Saturday was classes, then straight to his place before everyone arrives. At least it was something which I've been looking forward to, and it's nice to have a gathering. I always love a good BBQ. My marinated wings were yums, so were the pork belly! We ended the night playing 'Taboo'. I had fun, and I hope everyone did too, especially the birthday boy.

By the time we cleaned up, it was already 3am. He insisted on cleaning and washing everything, so obviously I can't leave him doing it alone. I was so tired, it took all my will power to make it to class again today. I spent almost 20 hours in class this 'long' weekend, and there's another 20 hours of class awaiting next weekend. =(

That's it. My 'long' weekend was over. It wasn't long enough for me, and it's Monday again!

I'm still so tired, I can't differentiate if it's physically or mentally. It's mentally draining to go for classes, having the lecturer screaming that we should revise everyday and do this and that. *goodness. I don't have that energy.

It's a long and busy week ahead.

.::. Work is... .::.



My desk.

My cubicle.

The office.

Work is...
1 cup of Milo with fresh milk
3 cups of green tea in my disney cup
toilet breaks to rest my eyes
1 apple during teabreak
lots of excel spreadsheets, reports and graphs
pivot tables and vlookups
powerpoint
excel
excel
excel
bordem
fatigue

I'm excelling at my job, literally. I feel high from it - it makes me dizzy when I stand up after too much scrolling and vlookup between sheets.

That's work for me.

Thank god I have a nice boss.

.::. Venice .::.

On hindsight, I loved Venice. It's beautiful and all, but I felt it was overrated when I was there. It was really tourisy and expensive, only tourists stay there these days. Most people who work there stay across the bridge, at Mestre. It's quite sad though, because most houses there are empty, owned by rich people who only come to holiday during the summer. Normal people will not be able to afford houses in Venice.

It isn't that big and you can cover almost everything in a day. We only spent about half a day there, but it was sufficient. We took a boat-taxi from the town to the main square where the main sights were, and it cost us like 5.50Euros for that 20minute boat ride. In short, everything is extremely expensive.



You probably can't leave Venice without a ride on the gondolas. We struggled for sometime before going on it, simply because it's REALLY expensive. It was about an hour's ride, through many small canals. At least the boatman helped us take a nice picture in the middle of the main canal.

We were on the main bridge, which was in the first picture.

Venice is post-card beautiful. I loved walking through the very narrow streets. It's like a maze, because the roads and buildings are not straight and not all of them have bridges for you to pass. Sometimes, it's a dead-end. Joey was the one navigating with the map, while I snapped away. I like the feel of the place, yet we agreed that we will not want to stay any longer.

It's definitely worth a short visit, for it's so unique, building a whole city on the sea. No roads, no traffic lights, no cars. Not to mention that it's really beautiful too. Gotta visit it before it really starts sinking!