.::. Wealth, Greed & Power .::.

Being a History student, I’ve always been quite perturbed about how history always repeats itself.  The root of many problems in life always revolve around greed and power.  All conflicts between people and war between nations, within or against religion – the heart of the problems remains unchanged.  It’s ironic, because at the end of the day, everyone just wants to be loved and to be happy.  How many manage to see the big picture and find happiness and contentment?

Sometimes, it’s impossible to talk sense to people, and I realized that people can have so divergent views that they will never ever see it the way you do.

I believe in karma, I believe that every action has its resultant consequences.  I believe that those who capitalize on humans’ weakness to generate fear and capitalize on their greed and insecurities will bear the consequences of their action someday. 

I can’t for the life of me understand how educated people can succumb to high risk investments or what I call Ponzi schemes.  There’s so many UK land schemes where people lost large amounts of money the past decades, yet it keeps happening again and again like a spoilt recorder.  There are people who pay for future services in advance, believing that they are ‘saving’ or ‘earning’ money because the company keeps increasing their service prices.  Inflation is real and legit, but the issue with such a private company is how they can account for so much uncertainty and provision enough to meet these future obligations.  

Huge public listed companies governed by laws fall, yet people believe in small private companies with little transparency and much less governance.  Do people truly believe what they are told by these companies to part with their money?  This becomes almost like a Ponzi scheme where the business may not make accurate projections and provision for their obligations.  When the money dries up and they sell less packages or see a spike in redemption, they end up with cashflow problems and eventually face bankruptcy.  

What happens when a company becomes bankrupt?  

What you buy from them become worthless and the bosses behind such companies basically escape unscathed and can easily open another company to continue in the same line of business (or a different line).  These bosses have enjoyed high salary with great benefits and expenses charged to companies.  Companies have to pay their creditors and banks first, and they almost always do not have enough to do so.  Banks have to write off these bad debts, but customers end up with nothing. It might not be that they are out to cheat, it may be poor management or bad judgement or a combination of everything.  However, people behind these companies become richer at the expense of many oblivious customers – people who believe that they are saving or making money easily.  It's so easy to capitalize on human's fear and greed.

If it’s too good to be true, it probably is.

Everyone knows this, but how many truly have enough judgement when they need it?

.::. Childhood .::.

That day, we had one of those conversations about our childhood.  Apt isn't it, now that we're going to be parents who will determine what kind of childhood our child has.

I don't talk about my childhood much, those weren't times that I would like to remember, but it made me who I am today.  Those years had pretty dark times when I struggled. I was a very unhappy child.  No doubt I had happy days, but there were so many moments deeply entrenched in my memories that still give me tinge of sadness when I think about it.

When I was very young, I liked to talk to my mum and told her everything.  I was very talkertive and kept at it non-stop even when lights were out.  She always asked me to stop and go to bed, and I was always upset about it.  I hated it when she compares me to her friends' children or some neighbor's children, she always did that.  Someone's child was always better and more obedient than I was.  I still remember this girl from kindergarten who's my mum's colleague's daughter, she's called Yun Qian, and I really disliked her.

Then there were the times when my mum would always blame us for our existence and express her regret for having us.  Mums have no idea how unwanted and unloved that makes one feel.  I remembered being really upset and there were times when I threatened to jump down the building and commit suicide.  I also constantly told my parents that I will move out as soon as I could and would send them to an old folks' home because I really didn't want to see them.  Some days, I got so upset that I rolled and screamed on the floor, dashed out of the house with my bike to release some of these anguish.  I had so much pent-up anger and wrote in my diaries simply because I knew that my mum reads all of it.

I remembered that I was overjoyed when I got 99 marks for an exam and came home to share the joy with my parents.  I was top in class and beaming with excitement.  My parents didn't share my joy nor give me any word of praise.  They asked me why didn't I get full marks and miss that one mark.  I was indignant and annoyed.  Then, I got full marks in another exam and came home in anticipation of what they would say.  They told me that I was lucky and that I'll not be able to do it again.  I was deeply upset and words couldn't quite explain the emotions I felt as a child then.  I was always scolded for reading storybooks, always nagged for not studying my textbooks instead.  I wonder if it was then that I somehow decided that being good was enough; that there wasn't any point in striving to be 'the best'.

I hated it when my mum complains and screams.  She does it all the time.  I still remember how fiercely she screamed, cursing and swearing because my dad didn't hang the clothes from the laundry.  I was taught to wrap all my books in plastic and iron my own pinafore, wash my own shoes when I went to primary one.  Just because my mum hates doing that.  She even got my dad to teach me how to tie shoe laces and insisted that she didn't know how to do it, just so she doesn't need to do it.

When my mum became a housewife, things became worst.  She never stopped complaining every single day, screaming and shouting, blaming everyone at home for everything.  It was terrible going home after a long day and it was so repulsive that one wouldn't want to hear her say anything much less help.  I never understood why didn't my mum find cooking for her children a joy.  I looked at other people's mums and can't help but question many things.  I never ever understood why one can complain so much and be so bitter for so long, blaming everyone else for their plight.

I've to say that the husband has brought so much happiness and contentment into my life, and I'm really thankful for that.  He has taught me love and patience, taught me kindness and how to give selflessly without expecting anything in return.  Taught me to see things that truly matters in life.

I will do everything in my ability to give my child a happy childhood and never make her feel like she's inadequate or not good enough.  She will not feel what I felt and she will be loved no matter what she does or do not do.

I enjoy doing housework and making our house a home.  I also enjoy cooking for my loved ones to see them smile.  I actually enjoy doing things for people I love, irregardless of whether or not I get anything in return.

I wish with all my heart that Jaime will have a childhood filled with fond memories that she can look back and smile. 

.::.Relationships.::.

Some days, I wonder if ‘happily ever after’ really exists or rather, what are the chances that a relationship can achieve ‘happily ever after’.  How many couples are still happy together after a few decades together?

Looking at many older couples around me, I’m a tad sad to observe that many of them don’t seem to be happy together.  Many seem to stay together for convenience or simply to ‘have a complete family’ among many other ridiculous reasons that may include money.  Many of them do not even sleep together in the same room or bed anymore.  Many can’t stand each other, some don’t talk, some scream at each other often, some put each other down constantly.  Why I wonder?  Why?  How do they live like that?  How can they be happy?

I look at older couples put each other down, from saying hurtful things like ‘You are so fat!’ or ‘You are so uncivilized!’ loudly in public places and infront of their children.  It’s painful to watch, even more painful to not be able to say anything because they are our elders and it’s supposedly rude to speak up against them.  It goes against all my principles to bite my tongue and pretend I don’t notice instead. But it makes me sad, to keep quiet and pretend not to notice.  When you do not speak up against bad behavior, you are actually condoning it and encouraging it.  Yet, for the betterment of everyone (or so I believe for now), I felt like I had to keep quiet and look away.  Knowing myself, I’m not sure how long I can stay silenmt and pretend not to notice nor speak up against such terrible behavior!  I don’t think I can stand being around such negative energy.

How can people be so mean I sometimes wonder?  I'm appalled that even very religious people can be very mean and difficult, despite spending all that time on the teachings that are supposed to make them a better person.  

One simply need a strong moral compass to know what’s right (and wrong) and how to spare a thought for others.

And a mental note to myself, I hope that I will never scream at the husband like that and put him down.  I hope that regardless what happens, we can always be kind to each other and never have to hurt each other with unnecessary words.  I hope that we will never put each other down especially NOT infront of our children. I hope that we can be good role models that our children can look up to and respect.  

Nobody should say such things to others, regardless the circumstances!  Period.

.::. A Purposeful Life .::.

It's Teachers' Day again, and I'm always very thankful to receive anything from my students.  It's very difficult to explain the warm fuzzy feeling of satisfaction that I get only from teaching; the feeling I get only from these children that I know I have made an impact on.

I have always wondered why, after to many jobs in the past 15 years, why do teaching still rank top on my list.  During the drive home tonight, I pondered and I think that I might finally have an answer.  Teaching itself is not the most enjoyable thing really, and anyone who has ever tried to teach someone anything will know.  Some days it drains and frustrates me, especially after a long day in the office, but it always pays off.  Apart from knowing that your students really like and appreciate you, I think the most important thing is that children are inherently innocent and straight-forward.  You always know if they are happy or upset, or if they are telling the truth.  However, I realized that the best thing about teaching is that I can truly be myself when I teach.  I am the most honest and sincere when I'm with my students (and their parents).  It's something that truly aligns with my principles and values as a person.  And of course, knowing that you make an impact on someone's life is itself really satisfying.  Every single student that came to me made great improvements.  One of the most memorable moments was when a few of my tuitee saved 20 cents each from their pocket money to buy me a lemon tea from the nearby coffeeshop (because they knew that I like it).  You know that they really like you when they saved their pocket money just to get you something to make you happy.

All these set me thinking yet again.

Recently, a friend said that her son do not really enjoy going to school and prefers to 'nua' at home.  It's partially because the dad is in the property line and is usually 'nua-ing' at home on weekdays, at least that is how the son sees it.  Thus, the son perhaps looks up to his father and naturally wants to mimic him.  In another conversation with a colleague at work, she said that some of her very rich friends continue working simply because they want to lead by example and let their children know that they should work hard in life to get what they want.  They do not want to sit around and let their children know that they can live a good life even without working

These conversations made an impact on me, and made me rethink about quite a few things.  I do believe that the best way to teach your child is to lead by example.  I'm not sure what I might get out of this, but it sure set me thinking.  What values do you want to impart to your children and how do you align yourself with these values?

I think I have more than I ever need, I don't care for power nor title, I don't care to be 'rich' to lead a lavish lifestyle and afford material wants.  I am contented and more than happy with all that I already have, and honestly, I'm not sure if there's anything else that I really want or really matters.  I'm this contented with my life the past 30 years that even if I were to die now, I would die with no regrets.

So, what makes a life worth living?  What makes a purposeful life when at the end of the day nothing really matters, or does it?

.::. Positivity .::.

I started teaching this Primary 6 boy maths early this year. My cousin asked if I wanted to take him up as he was very weak academically and his parents were desperately seeking help. When I started teaching him, he got below 20/100 for his exams. It was truly a stuggle and I suspect that he's slow because he has dyslexia. He was eager to please and adored me. Although we were hopeful for him to pass his CA, he only got 31/100, which was an improvement anyway. By his mid-year exams, he got 57/100 and he's now so much more confident in himself.

I'm preparing him for his prelims now, and I moved his goal up to 70 (from 65) - because I believe that he has room to grow and it's always better to aim for the stars to land on the moon. While looking at his school file today, my heart ache a little upon reading the comments his school teacher made on his work. 'Very poor' appeared many many times, there's also I'm very disappointed with your attitude.' He's a little hyperactive and takes some patience to handle, but he inherently still wants to do better - who doesn't anyway? Teachers should help every child fulfill his best potential and such comments does nothing but hurt a child and makes the lose confidence in themselves. Instead of 'Very poor' why not say 'Try harder'? Instead of saying 'I'm very disappointed' why not say 'I believe you can do better'. No one needs such negativity from anyone and such words doesn't serve much purpose except to demoralize and hurt people.

What we say affects a child more than we ever imagined. I still remember how I felt when my parents told me I was 'lucky' that I got 99 marks and questioned why didn't I get 100 marks instead. Such words can really make a child feel inadequate and unworthy. 

Let's remember to always be kind and to say only positive and constructive things, especially to a child.

.::. People .::.

I came across a quote that resonates deeply with me that day - "No one can ever pay you what your free time is truly worth." 

Ahh. Time. Most (if not all) exchange our time for money. While we may (or may not) enjoy work, there's always an opportunity cost when we choose how to spend our time. At work, I often see people who are so fixated on climbing the corporate ladder in pursuit of certain titles and pay. When they get promoted, they inevitably spend more time on work with more responsibilities, stress and travel. Then, they buy bigger cars, move to bigger houses, yet have less time for their children, family and themselves. It's almost amusing to observe these behavior and wonder, are these truly worth your time? 

It all boils down to priorities, maybe they are truly happy with what they have achieved in life - a title that they wear proudly and the high standard of living.

While work can bring purpose in life, is it truly meaningful when people spend all their time on work to maintain a certain quality of life?

.::. Things I'm Thankful For .::.

As we grow older and start working, life inevitably revolves around work and seemingly endless to-do lists.  Most of us spend most of our weekday at work, and all we have left is a few hours of free-time to do things that really matters.  Many don't even have that few hours and it's easy to lose sight of what is truly important and be thankful for what we have.  It's easier to complain than to be thankful.

Personally, I’m most thankful to have the husband and being in a healthy, happy relationship minus all the drama and ambiguity that some struggle with.  Perhaps because of this, it has made it much easier for me to be positive, at peace and happy every single day.  But it's also perhaps we are happy and thankful for each other that we have a healthy and happy relationship.  

On a daily basis, I’m thankful that there are so many simple things that make me happy:

-          I’m happy when I wake up after a good night’s sleep, especially during the rainy, cooling nights.
-          I’m happy when I see the husband in deep sleep or preparing for work when I open my eyes
-          I’m happy when I see Chikey and his wagging tail
-          I’m happy that I am healthy and have a job
-          I’m happy that I don’t dislike my job and it helps me to fulfill all my other goals
-          I’m happy when I get my coffee and fill my tummy with yummy food
-          I’m happy when I think of what to eat next
-          I’m happy when I get to knock-off work on-time
-          I’m happy when I can cook a home-cooked meal for us
-          I’m happy when Chikey snuggles up to me
-          I’m happy when I go for my music lessons and spend time on my piano/violin
-          I’m happy even when I do my music theory homework!
-          I’m happy when I teach tuition, knowing that my kids adore me and I have made an impact on their lives
-          I’m happy when I try new recipes and cook yummy food
-          I’m happy when I go to the gym, being able to go and strengthen myself
-          I’m happy when I do grocery shopping and grab some good deals
-          I’m happy when I get to meet my friends and hear updates from them
-          I’m happy when I do housework and make my home a better place
-          I’m happy when I pick the husband up from work
-          I’m happy when I have enough to give back to the community
-          I’m happy when I can travel and experience all the beauty in the world
-          I’m happy when I see beautiful sunsets
-          I’m happy when it rains and the weather becomes cooling
-          I’m happy when it’s sunny and there’s clear blue skies

The list can go on forever, because I'm always happy about all these little things.  I think the husband has an easy job, because I’m really easy to please.  Just buy me some yummy food and I would be smiling like I won the lottery. I think we are very similar in this aspect, that we both dislike drama and negativity, just like things simple and to be happy.  Being happy makes it easier to face the other challenges and negativity that sometimes seep into life, although I try consciously to distance myself from negativity.  I really don’t quite understand why some people spend their life complaining and being unhappy, or choosing to see all the bad in their lives!  It’s never about circumstances, it’s always about your own thoughts.

Being alive, healthy and able is itself such a blessing – if only everyone could think this and be happily thankful.

.::. 2016 Resolutions .::.

This was in draft for months, and before I got it published, it's already March!?

2015 Resolutions (and some of 2016):

1. Be more disciplined with exercise and diet to reduce fat % and become leaner/stronger.

While I have gotten stronger and have been keeping an active lifestyle, I don't think I got leaner nor reduced my fat %! This is a constant struggle especially after I started driving to work and consequentially walked less. We did spend more days strolling at Botanical Gardens and brought Chikey to Sentosa to swim and stroll at Sentosa Coast after we got our car though.This shall be a constant work-in-progress every year!

2.Reading more news and books to enrich myself and to meet my financial goals this year.

We have been pretty disciplined and have not spent much on big-ticket items this year. Even holidays were pretty muted to Indonesia and Boracay, Phillipines this year. I also took up additional tuition assignment out of interest and for more supplementary income to cover our addional petrol expense or my music lessons. To some extend, this also helps to mitigate earned salary-risk, given that my income and job was not exactly stable with a 25% workforce reduction in 2015. Financial goals were on target or slightly ahead. We need to persevere 10 more years before she finish our mortgage and become financially free. Hoping to be more disciplined with savings to be ready to take advantage of any market downturn.

3. Learn a new instrument – violin and piano

After starting violin lessons in January and piano lessons in March, I took my ABRSM Grade 3 in February 2016. It took considerable hard work and some stress towards the end, but I'm so glad of the progress I've made. People think I'm crazy, I think I'm crazy too, but it has brought me immense pleasure in playing and making all these progress. There’s still a long way to go, but I hope to continue on this journey in the many years to come!

4. Reduce clutter and organize the home.

We did quite a thorough spring cleaning before Chinese New Year! The house is the cleanest since we moved in, but I still need to continue de-cluttering and organizing my (many) stuff.

5. Experiment with new recipes and cook/bake more often.

Highlights of the year was Prawn Noodle Soup, Chicken Rice and steamed fish! I also cooked for my family's reunion dinner in 2016! I haven't baked much though, it's too fattening and the husband doesn't like sweets.

6. Finish ACCA

Like finally! *wee. No more guilt for not spending my weekends studying and no more night classes! You know what's worst than studying or working? Studying AND working. I can't believe how I used to rush to classes after work and got home past 11pm, only to get up at 5am for work, and still have to find time to study among everything.

2015 was a year with many milestones, but has not been very lucky for me. For one, I lost my wallet the first time in my life, together with all my cards. The wallet was 5 year-old but in very good condition, purchased in New York during one of our trips. I also dropped my phone and cracked the whole screen epicly. Work has not been the smoothest too given the downturn in O&G and dreary environment. There were also many hospital admittance for the family. But as a whole, it wasn’t too bad a year as we still chugged along happily and I achieved most of what I set out to do in 2015.

2016 is supposedly a good year for both of us, and I indeed had a pretty good start.

In 2016, I hope to continue the momentum and make more progress on these core goals.

1.       Stay active and healthy – now that we’ve a car, we do walk less but we can do more. I hope to have more active weekends since the husband does not like to exercie. Shall plan more walks to botanic gardens and MacRitchie, and to bring Chikey out more often to the beach. I also hope to continue my weekly gym sessions and I’ve been planning to start Kayla’s BBG program again. I also cook less often now that we can quickly and easily drive out to eat. I also pick the husband up often, and drop by somewhere for dinner before coming home. So hopefully, I can continue cooking few times a week for more nutritious and healthy meals.

2.       Save and Invest – We are pretty much on-track for our 10-year plan, but it might be more challenging with a car. Given our current lifestyle we should be alright, especially since we’ve cut down on traveling.

3.       Do more – Although the husband and I donate monthly, and I take part in charity programs now and then, I hope to do more for the less priveledged. I have been urging the husband to join me to do some volunteer work but he hasn’t been too keen about it. He thinks that I should take the time to do more for our place (like more housekeeping and packing my stuff) instead of spending the time to do others’ place. =_=” Perhaps we can work out a few one-time off events to volunteer at. Children and animals always have a special place in my heart.

4.       Practice more -  After my Grade 3 exams for both violin and piano early this year, I hope to play more of what I enjoy instead of preparing for exams! Looking forward to work on my dream pieces and perhaps save for a violin upgrade.

5.       Love more – life is too short to be too busy for your loved ones. Broadly, this includes more cooking, more housekeeping, more quality time together with all my loved ones.

I can’t believe that I will be turning 30 very soon I have turned 30. I don’t feel like 30, although I do feel that at this age, I am in better control of my life in all the different aspects. It might be a scary thing to age for some, but I realized that time gives you a perspective that nothing else could.

Time. Time is a very scary thing that is slipping away every second and can never be recovered. I was looking through my old stuff like photos from secondary school and my studying materials in school and from my time in Sweden. I threw most of them away, but I feel this sense of loss and emptiness, like I can't bear to let go of those wonderful times. It's another topic all by itself, but well, time pass us by way too quickly.

The husband is away yet again on a work trip. It's during these times when I'm home-alone and free that I spend more time reflecting. I know right, how did he become such an integral part of me that I feel a sense of emptiness and a dull ache of loss without him?

To another wonderful year ahead! =)

.::. Parents .::.

One of the best things that you could do for your parents is to let them worry less about you, live well, be well, be happy. Yet it may be easier said than done when what they want for you might not be what you want for yourself, and it becomes a delicate balance.

.::. Taking Stock .::.

As we are concluding Q3 and going into Q4, I’m glad that 2015 has been another great year, though not exactly lucky for me. I got into an accident, hurt my feet and lost my wallet the first time in my life.

Most of the goals that I’ve set for this year has been checked off the list though.

I have finished my ACCA exams, and is now officially a CPA Affiliate! Not that I’m going to find another job to be an accountant; nor does this change much of anything. I’m glad that I’m done with studying. Studying while working is really tough, especially if you would actually want to have a life. So glad I'm done with this one. =)

An unexpected event threw us off our plans though – we got a car. Yes, I know, absolutely foolish financially when we do not need a car and have free transport to work. It’s an additional expense of almost $2k if not for some help from this parents. It's still a substantial sum of money that could be invested for early retirement and holidays. Although I’m now excited about having our first ride, I can’t say that this has not weighed us down financially and perhaps mentally. I dislike liabilities and hate having to worry about money. After all the sums, we can probably afford it, but things will be different if kids come into the equation and we can no longer enjoy those amazing holidays. If not for the over-trade rebate from the MIL’s old car, and relatively cheaper COE now, we probably wouldn’t have done it. Having said that, since it’s a done deal, we must make sure that we get most out of the car. I’m already planning weekends out with Chikey, and the many places that I always wanted to go but couldn’t without a car. This almost translates to pay more to spend more. =_=”

And with 9 months on my violin, 6 months of piano classes, I’m preparing for Grade 3 ABRSM exams early next year! It brings me so much joy to be able to do what I love and make so much progress over the months. It’s hard work, but it’s a process that I actually enjoy, more than studying for ACCA!

Fitness wise, I’ve been pretty consistent this year till recently. I love BodyPump and BodyCombat, and all the muscles that I'm building. It feels great being stronger and having the energy to do all I do, though my mum constantly reminds me that I'm too 'fat'. It's annoying, but it's also amazing how because of her, I have learnt to not let peoples' opinion of me bother me too much over the years. Life is too short to bother about what people think. 

And here is a picture of us, scaling 2 volcanoes in Indonesia after our exams. It was another great adventure. We climbed Ijen in the dark, leaving the hotel at midnight and reached the top before daybreak. I hope that we stay fit enough to do this again! And I hope that I get to sit down and write about this trip, and our 10th anniversary trip to Maldives last December. And there was Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh.

The haze is making me so allergic and I’m relying on my inhaler at times. Apart from necessary, I’m hiding at home as much as possible. I have been coughing since weeks ago too. I hope this haze goes away soon! Shooo~

.::.Life's too short.::.

As I jot down my goals and things that I would like to do or places that I would like to visit, it hit me really hard that life is too short.

My twenties simply flew by in a blink of an eye. Poof and I'm almost stepping into my Big 3. How am I going to get so many things done?

There's no better time than now to start doing what you truly desire - a mental note to always follow my heart and not wait for the 'right' time.

.::. Those Days .::.

You know, there are some days when you simply feel like hiding in the covers and not do anything else? Except that it's been quite a few such days in a row and I feel miserable. It must be PMS and period cramps!

It's one of those days when you wonder what are you supposed to do with your life. 

.::. Remembering LKY .::.

It has been the talk of the town and seen an amazing outpouring of love for a man who built Singapore. It was really heart-warming to see a divided Singapore coming together during such times. Despite divided political inclinations, I believe most of us Singaporeans see and appreciate what this man has given us.  I do have mixed feelings though. From the love and pride for Singapore, I feel sad that a great man who has built Singapore have left. Part of me feel lost and somewhat worried about Singapore’s future, but another part of me is looking forward to changes that could make Singapore a better place. Perhaps more compassionate and less economically driven by productivity, less like a corporate and more like a family or a place where people feel it’s home. We are no doubt very lucky, but in many ways I wished that we could have done more for our people, especially those who were left behind as we chugged forward.

Revisiting LKY’s life, there’s so much to learn from this man. No man is perfect, but I believe that he has done his best given the circumstances and there’s so much to learn from him.

1.       Love and monogamy

I think this is absolutely underrated in today’s society that places much focus on success at the workplace and amount of wealth. A good and loving marriage is seldom in the spotlight as life’s successes. Moreover, most capable and high-profile people usually crave for power and attention with resultantly common extra-marital affairs and scandals. The love he shared with his wife is so precious. If you ask me, life wouldn’t be in vain as long as one have loved and was loved deeply. Anyone who’s capable of such love over a lifetime can’t be that bad a person.

2.       Determination and faith

This man dedicated his life to building Singapore. His determination and faith is imprinted all over Singapore and how we have evolved over the past 50 years. Simply looking at Singapore today speaks volumes about his determination and faith as we defy everyone’s expectations to become one of the richest country despite having zero natural resources.

3.       Consistency

He is known for being consistent in everything he did. His days were a routine revolving around work, family and exercise. Despite his heavy workload, he always had time for exercise and family, keeping a healthy work-life balance. When asked about his secret to longevity, he said to exercise and eat less but healthily. He was constantly improving himself and keeping himself updated with everything that was going on. Anyone can have goals and many have great ides, yet how many could persist and consistently work towards what they believed in?

4.       Frugality

His frugal ways are extinct in today’s generation. Just look at our elitist MPs who drives cars which are worth more than HDB flats and indulge in all the luxury that you can think of. Many of our leaders today are born with a golden spoon in their mouth and had a very smooth journey in life. How can they really understand how is life really like for the less-privileged in Singapore? Many of them have private sector careers and worry more about how they look rather than focusing on serving the people. LKY was a man who wore the same clothes for years till they had holes and never cared for luxury items. If you were like him, all you think of is probably how to improve things or to tweak plans for Singapore as you take in the developments in the world daily. There will be no time for luxury or fashion! This was a man who truly understood the people then and set out to meet the peoples’ basic needs, building a country where people can be safe, with means to bring up families in a comfortable home in a clean and green city. If Singaporeans were as frugal as him, there really wouldn’t be much complaints. If we did not expect to go on holidays, do not expect much shopping and luxury items, had home-cooked food and took the public transport – how many of us will still struggle to survive and own a HDB? Even kids staying in rental flats have iPhones these days!

5.       Opinionated

He was a man who stood for his beliefs and spent his life defending them. He had very strong opinions and arguments, he always made his points and was able to substantiate his opinions. He never deviated and had something to say to rebut what others’ had to say. He had such clear thoughts that are so closely weaved together. I remember reading his book as a teenager and his thoughts were enlightening although I might not always agree and wouldn’t be so sure that it’s a good idea to be so forthright about it. He is always so pragmatic. What he said about the cost of sustaining an old person despite available technology and the dwindling fertility of women after 35 left a mark on me. He always looked at the big picture. While it’s true that these are individual choices and freedom, but the issues and cost to society as a whole is real. I also agreed with his thoughts about human genes and his view on religion. I love that he insisted to be correct, not politically correct.

We can all argue and point out his high-handed ways that might have destroyed some people and families. But perhaps that is makes him a true leader, because he made those hard decisions and stood so firm, resulting in the birth of Singapore which has benefited so many of us. It also made him human, for it’s not possible to please everyone no matter how great you may be. 

Maybe one can argue that we are so economically driven and competitive that makes Singaporeans are a stressful and unhappy lot. I believe that one’s happiness is a choice and we are not forced to stay here. If somewhere else suits you better, you can always leave for greener pastures. But keep in mind that Singapore is an amazing place to live in and one of the most efficient countries in the world. After visiting more than 30 countries and spending a year in Europe, I still love Singapore and probably wouldn’t want to leave. We can also choose to be more frugal, have lower expectations, consume less and have a less stressful life. Instead, most of us choose to slog for a bigger apartment, a better car, luxury goods and holidays. These are not needs but wants, and how can we blame a man who has fulfilled all our basic needs so well that we are complaining about not having enough wants fulfilled?

The man is no more. While I’m very thankful and grateful for all that Singapore is, I think we need change. It might be a necessity to push everyone so hard then, but now that we are already a developed country, I wish to see a more compassionate Singapore and more policies to support it. It’s all great if we compare ourselves in the region, but when compared against developed countries, we are lagging behind in many areas and there’s so much to learn from other developed countries. My wish for Singapore is to become a developed country with happy people. It may probably take another lifetime for policies to be put in place and people to change their mindset about success and happiness.

.::. The Ikea Way .::.

The Ikea Way

Not long ago, this guy shared his experience with getting an Ikea kitchen on his blog. It’s appalling, and anyone who has been through renovation would feel for him. It’s one of those typical horrible experience with contractors, miscommunications, wrong measurements, bad workmanship and worst of all, bad attitude. It makes me somewhat sad and disappointed, because Ikea has been known for their innovation and creativity in managing their furniture design to maximize functionality at low cost through working with their network of suppliers.  I’ve done so many case studies about Ikea during my studies in Sweden, and Ikea represents Sweden in so many ways. Moreover, their kitchen cabinet uses OEM blum accessories, which is probably the best kitchen accessories currently! Ikea’s kitchen is also looking great with a large selection of sinks which I really like.

To Ikea’s credit, they have upheld their values and reputation by rectifying the situation once they got wind of this. It truly shows the power of social platforms and how important reputation and reviews are these days. But being able to apologize for their mistake and take such measures to rectify it shows a lot about the values behind a corporation. A good company will realize that customers’ satisfaction is the main driver of profits and should be one of the top priority.

When it comes to carpentry work, it’s quite easy to discern good workmanship. Apart from the apparent fit of the carpentry and smooth surfaces, one can easily check the workmanship in a few ways:

1.       The edges. The laminate should be seamless at the edges without things like jagged edges and not-so-straight cuts that do not cover the wood totally.

2.       The alignment. The drawers should be perfectly aligned and straight. There should be minimal gaps between the panels of a cabinet. The easiest way to check alignment is to open up all your carpentry, the drawers should not hit one another and panels should not be drooping.

Sadly, I learnt by experience. Till now, more than 2 years after my own renovation, I’m still annoyed when I notice the gaps between my cabinet panels. Still annoyed when I clean my kitchen cabinets and see how misaligned all the drawers and panels are. Yes, they are totally functional and could last for years to come, but I don’t think anyone likes living with such substandard work.

You know what’s the worst thing? The worst thing is, if the carpentry is already done badly, there’s very little anyone can do to rectify such issues, unless to redo the whole thing (which is almost impossible given the cost and time involved). Our drawers did get re-aligned just so they don’t hit each other when opened, but the gaps between the drawers and panels were never able to be perfectly aligned. The edges of the laminate, when not done properly? - The only rectification possible was to use a paint pen of similar color to color over the visible jagged edges just so it’s not so visible. Two years down the road, some of the paint has worn off and I’m getting the husband to buy some paint pens for me to redo the edges because it annoys the hell out of me whenever I see them. It will be many years later before I can ever redo my kitchen and carpentry work, because it’s going to cost me a five figure sum and a whole lot of inconvenience.

I can’t stress the importance of doing some homework and choosing a reputable and good contractor/designer. Sometimes, it all comes down to ethics of a person or a company and how they choose to make their money. It’s difficult to discern, except to follow your heart and your 6^th sense when interacting with people and observing them. Mistakes are inevitable, but what’s more important is attitude and how people handle their mistakes. Some will apologize and make the effort to rectify their mistakes, while some will never admit their mistakes but blame everyone else instead.

Not everything legal is ethical, and every business wants to make money. What is most important is how you make your money, because karma works in mysterious ways. 

君子爱财取之有道

Be righteous and make money in righteous ways.

Kudos to Ikea for doing what they did in response to such a situation. Most of the time, customers simply want their issues to be acknowledged and would forgive many mistakes if they were handled in a reasonable way.

On another note that’s relevant to business ethics, here’s a link to one of the biggest story in Singapore’s social media world that made me lose some faith in humanity, yet have it restored again.

There’s always bad people around, but there will also be great ones. Sometimes, when the law doesn’t help, the compounding power of people could be a great catalyst for change and justice. It takes courage to stand up for your values and go against what you believe is wrong. Not many people do that nowadays. We simply take it as it is and continue living life. It's amazing how the power of social media can dig up so much information and make life difficult for some unethical merchants. Not all may agree with it, but hey, I think we do need such people who's unafraid of legal repercussions and spend their time fighting for things they believe to be right. 

There are still too many unethical businesses around, too many people making money at the expense of others. But beware of karma and such social media forces! Every single action produces a consequence.

To ethics, humanity and karma, and the Ikea way ~

.::. Almost Goodbye .::.

The year is coming to an end. *gasp* I’ve no idea how did time fly by just like that.

I am finally done with ACCA exams, though I’m not too confident about passing and I don’t want to think about it. It’s my last paper, and I’m bummed that I’m not fully prepared and fell sick a few days before exam. Otherwise, that 2 days would have made the difference!

With exams out of the way and our year-end trip upcoming, we spent last weekend doing spring cleaning our place. We did pretty thorough cleaning, from cleaning the ceiling fan to stripping our sofa covers to wash and wiping all the surfaces, air-con filters and even cleaning our metal gates and window grills! *wee* I also packed the storeroom and study room, so I’m feeling very accomplished though it has been a very tiring weekend. We also wrapped presents and set up our Christmas tree for the parties that we will be hosting at home. We bought quite abit of Christmas deco for the home in addition to those recycled ones.

It’s a great time, and it has been a great year on many counts. I can’t wait for our parties and our 10^th anniversary Maldives trip. I’m also ahead this time, with all my Christmas presents done way before Christmas!

Feeling very thankful for all the love and people around me who really matters. I think as I grow older, I find it easier to accept that there are mean people and I’m no longer bothered about peoples’ opinion about me. My mum has always said things like what would people think of me if I did this and that, and it may have made me somewhat conscious despite my rebellious streak. But seriously, why the f*ck do I give a damn about what other people think? Going into the last year in my twenties, I’m proud to say that I’m no longer affected by what people think nor say apart from the passing annoyance before deciding to cut people off. Don’t give others the ability to hurt you. Life is way too short and precious for things like that!

I’m really looking forward to the parties and trips ahead! I’m ending 2014 with a bang with a truckload full of anticipation and optimism for 2015. I’m all ready~!

.::. Jan's Ark .::.

I suppose many have heard of the story ‘Noah’s Ark’ – it’s probably my favorite biblical story and the very few that I actually connect with.  In short, it’s a story about how Noah built an ark to save his family and animals from a big flood that he believed would come. It has been used in a few movies, and what I really liked about it was how Noah put in all his heart to prepare for a potential challenge. He simply strengthened his ship and kept working on it, just so he can be prepared and ready when the storm comes.

I find inspiration and connect with his determination to be prepared for future challenges. It’s the human factor that inspires me more than the ‘God’ part of the story. I believe that if we are constantly strengthening ourselves and preparing ourselves for future challenges, we will be able to manage any difficulties that come our way. A solid ground work will always be a good base to fall back on when things get tough. Sometimes this simply mean a conscious effort to be positive, to have visions and plans, or to work on mental and physical strength.

Approaching the 10^th year of my relationship with the husband, I have the same thoughts about our relationship. It’s like throughout the 10 years, we have been building our ark, strengthening it bit by bit. With every storm we weather, we may lose some parts of our ark and emerge embattled – but we always continue working on it, repairing it and fortifying it. The first few years might have been challenging when we only had a little sampan that broke all the time while we hung on to it to keep afloat. Thankfully, after many years of hard work, we now have a strong and fortified ark that hopefully could bring us through all the challenges and storms in life. All’s calm now, but it sure feels like there might be storms ahead and every little thing we could do to strengthen our ark now would bring us a long way.

Jan’s ark is ready and strengthening! Bring it on! =)

.::. Home Sweet Home .::.

The last few months simply flew by. We have been too busy living life, enjoying our freedom and couple-hood.

Both of us have been traveling quite abit and missing each other all the time. I don't exactly mean it that way. It's just that he usually flies out on Saturday when I'm flying in on Sunday! And so we miss each other and go 2 weeks without seeing each other. I have been to Shanghai, Hanoi and Seoul the past few months, and the husband has been to China and Italy for work trips too. I really enjoyed all my trips this year, every single one of them. Hanoi with the husband was so much fun!

We have finally collected our new dining chairs from Crate and Barrel. Those 2 year-old ones from Taobao ain't of that good quality and not very comfortable. We have been chair-hunting on and off the past year, but the husband has an atas butt that can't seem to find a comfortable and nice-looking chair that is also affordable. Everytime a chair catches my attention and pass the look test, the husband has to do a sit test. Most of them fail the sit test, apart from a few that cost like $800 each. We finally settled for these.

It was supposed to take 3 months to indent and arrive in Singapore in October. But since we have been traveling and couldn't find the receipt, we waited and waited for the call that never came. We had to call  Crate and Barrel, only to realize that the chair is already there. Pretty bad customer service for such a brand!

Home looks like this now. I love how the chairs fit into the whole place, and they are pretty comfortable chairs!

The thing about home is that no matter where you go, you will always be back and thankful for a place you can call home.

Feeling all warm and blessed these days, in a very peaceful and thankful state-of-mind. =)

.::. The Paradox .::.

I might have shared this before. It's one of my favorite quotes from Dalai Lama and one that I keep close to my heart, to remind myself of what is truly important.

The heart is feeling heavy tonight. Its been a long day that ended with tuition. The tuitees are preparing for exams, and there's all that prep talk about life and their future. But the real reason for my heavy heart was work. Not exactly work, but a conversation I had with my colleagues at work.

One of the managers said that he realized early in his life that you need to make friends that enrich your life and have something to offer. It's important to learn how to spend time nurturing meaningful relationships and network with people who could help propel you forward in life. The other management trainee said that it is like a business transaction, there's an exchange of something that each party is interested in.

It makes me sad.

I suppose there is some truth in it, that one should not spend time with people who makes you feel bad or put you down. But somehow I can't bring myself to agree that the basis of a friendship should be whether or not they can give you something in return. I don't befriend someone because I think I can get something from them!

My question to them is, what happens if you are down and out and do not have anything to offer anymore? Does the 'friendship' then breakdown?

Most of the time, I feel like there's a mismatch between me and my work persona. I don't feel like I'm on the same wavelength as the people I work with. I feel suffocated by the power struggles by observing how things unfold in the corporate world, how quickly people fall out of favor, how people go all out to butter up strategically, how people change for the sake of power and money.

It's always about power and money isn't it?

It's during your climb up that your values become important as they define you as a person. Will you go against your values or bring harm to others just so you can profit from it? I can't see myself there. I suppose that these are just things which we have to grapple with in today's world. No matter how I dissociate myself with these, I'm still part of the game.

Sometimes, it's not easy to hold on tight to what is important and make it a priority.

THE PARADOX OF OUR TIMES

Is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers

Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints

We spend more, but we have less.

We have bigger houses, but smaller families

More conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees, but less sense

More knowledge, but less judgement

More experts, but more problems

More medicines, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often

We have learnt how to make a living, but not a life.

We have added years to life, but not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back

But have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour.

We have conquered outer space, but not inner space.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted our soul.

We've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We've higher incomes, but lower morals.

We've become long on quantity but short on quality.

These are the times of tall men, and short character;

Steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare,

More leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are the days of two incomes, but more divorces;

Of fancier houses, but broken homes.

It is a time when there is much in the show window, and nothing in the stockroom.

.::. Making a difference .::.

Had to share this. Such an inspiration and selfless woman. How many doctors actually has such a big heart and courage?

Makes me want to spend some of my time helping people in a cause I believe in. Makes me appreciate all I have more. Makes me realize that perhaps there's more to life than what most of us are pursuing.

.::. Q1 in photos .::.

Luckily I uploaded most of the pictures before my phone dropped into the toilet bowl and stopped working!

There was our 2nd and last free stay cation at Intercontinental, 2 nights with Cheer Chen's concert.

We had our meals nearby, Purvis Street. It has one of my favorite hainanese chicken rice and thai food. The hainanese chicken rice is one of the most authentic places left as all of them actually do speak hainanese, with food that tastes my like childhood.

First Thai, I love the kang kong but the standard seems to have dropped.

And of course...bubble baths!


Cheer Chen's concert! I love her, she has the voice of an angel and he got tickets for my birthday - emailed to me when he was overseas on my birthday.

And I try to cook as often as possible, though it's getting challenging these days due to my ridiculous schedule.

I usually jog on Wednesdays by the lake, because tuition starts at 7.30pm. I've time to squeeze in a jog and dinner before teaching.

This was dinner alone at Suntec's soup spoon after gym. The husband was attending a wedding. I love the new concept.

And I dug out my old iPod. The 8-year-old iPod that's still working and was my birthday present.

And this year's the year of weddings.

I think this was CNY dinner at our place.

One of the rare evenings when I'm home and can witness the twilight by the bay window.

The husband took leave and we went dating. Mondays are usually forced leave for me instead of off-in-lieu for those public holidays that fall on Saturday.

I love the Interlace, the unique design and how it's near and integrates into nature. 

My belated birthday celebration on Duxton Hill, and my huge Christmas present at home that I didn't realize.

Birthday celebration with the girls. It's been a good 15 years.

The dog, my ever-loyal companion.

Chinatown and birthday dinner with the neighbors when the husband wasn't around.

My best tom-yum soup attempt.

Celebrating Ju's birthday.

CNY hair.

I'm crazy about black chicken soup these days. *yums!

Cute Chikey, with his BFF Rugby.

One of the rare nights we went back to our old dating places. And he's tired before it's even 10pm!

Home-cooked meals.

Many steamboats gatherings.

Sometime, BBQ.

Bits of pieces of Q1, not in chronological order because I'm lazy but still wish to remember what was 2014 Q1 like.

Q2 might be a potential change in direction, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

To a great Q2! =)