.::. Home Alone .::.

This week, the husband is traveling. Again. He has been traveling pretty often, but this time feels abit more unbearable. I usually love having the time to myself and pack my week with activities like meeting up with my friends or going to the gym, or getting my hair done or simply go window shopping and have dinner by myself. But this week, I'm preparing for my exams and days feel so long when they are sleep-work-study on repeat mode. Doesn't help that work has been busy, I have been stressed-up, exams are next week and it's almost that time of the month soon.

This is one of the rare cold weeks that I feel somewhat lonely and long for a warm body to hug in bed. No, Chikey who has been snuggling up to me these days don't count!

Can't wait for exams to end (hopefully forever!) and the husband to be back soon! #fighting

.::. Herbal Black Chicken Soup .::.

Today is one of those days when I feel like work has sucked all my energy from me and there's nothing left in me. Perhaps it's PMS, or maybe it's been a stressful period trying to juggle everything, but I simply feel so spent.

Luckily, there was herbal black chicken soup at home waiting for me on a rainy evening. I cooked it since morning in the slow cooker.

And...it's yummy! I bought the herbs individually instead of buying those ready-packed ones. It tastes a lot nicer. There's quite a few versions of 'herbal black chicken soup', but I used the most common one. Black chicken soup is supposedly very nourishing and good for the body.

These are what I used with one small black chicken:

Chinese dates or red jujube - 红枣 (3-5 depending on size)

Chinese wolfberries or goji berries - 枸杞子 (a few teaspoons)

Polygonatum odoratum - 玉竹 (about half a palm-full)

Astragalus propinquus - 北芪 (3-4 pieces)

Angelica sinensis - 当归 (2-4 pieces)

Codonopsitis Pilosulae - 党参 (2-3 long sticks)

Dioscoreae Oppositae - 淮山 (about 3 stripes)

I simply threw a whole black chicken and all the herbs in the slow cooker and put the pot in the fridge. Just fill the pot with water in the morning before leaving house and on the slow cooker at low. By evening, the chicken would have been very soft and the soup yummy. I add in the red dates/wolfberries and a pinch of salt to taste when I'm back in the evening. You can add those chinese mushrooms, ginger slices or fresh wild chinese yam (淮山). Other variations includes things like white fungus, dried longan, peanuts/black beans, cordyceps, ginseng and even scallops.

This soup makes a simple and nourishing meal and is extremely simple to cook! I usually throw in some noodles - it goes well with rice too. And if you're too lazy to buy every herb individually, the packet ones will do too, though it doesn't taste as good. =)

.::. Sick .::.

I’ve been sick.  Since last Wednesday.  I got home and went right into bed after work.  The husband cooked steak for dinner, although I can barely swallow it down.  He thought that it would have made me happy.  I was coughing through the night and woke up with horrible body aches and fever.  It felt like all my bones were broken and moving simply hurts.  It took all my will power to get up for a shower and to see a doctor downstairs.  I simply couldn’t make it to central to see the better doctor.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday went by in a blur.  I woke up, I took medicine, I went back to sleep.  I managed to make it for brunch with the JC mates on Friday and the girls came by on Saturday for steamboat, reminding me how much I need to do before the pre-wed photoshoot and upcoming wedding.  I then spent the rest of the long weekend sleeping while the sweet husband cooked for me.  It got so bad that I finally relented and took anti-biotics on Sunday and went to the recommended doctor on Monday.

There goes my long weekend.

Is it almost November already?

I’m starved for time.  There’s so much to do and I’m barely coping with day-to-day routines, much less unpack and start preparing for everything else.

First thing first – get my health and strength back!

For now, I’m going to sentence myself to full house rest (apart from work) till I fully recover.

Jan will be back.  Soon.

.::. Panic Attacked! .::.

It suddenly hit me that September is almost over, and I’ve like 15 more weekends before THE big day. I started panicking big time.

We are not even done with the house yet.  We have not bought TV console, coffee table, bed frame, side tables, study table and lounge chair.  We have not even bought a vacuum cleaner, curtains are not up yet too.  I’ve not packed for nor prepared for the move, the house is not decorated at all. And to add salt to the wound, they gave us solid top instead of granite for our toilet and it’s still a big question mark how things would end up.  Replacing it would burn at least another of our weekend and I’m worried that my plumbing would be affected.  I really have no wish to drag my carpentry misery. They can actually insist that ‘their records show that we wanted solid top’ when the contract, all communications and discussions including emails and SMS indicated that we wanted granite.  Who in the right mind would want black solid top which scratches easily and show ugly white lines when the price difference is negligible?  I just had another horrible nightmare about carpentry last night, dreamt that they gave me all different cream and ugly colors for my kitchen solid top, insisting that it was what I chose.  I was so angry that I broke down and woke up with puffy eyes.

I got down to listing all the to-do stuff, and the list is really long.  I’ve been doing things bit by bit everyday this week since the husband is away.  So I bought a huge bag of stuff from Ikea including curtain rods, got help from neighbor to install all my curtain brackets and rods, got containers and stuff from Daiso and got the brother to help collect my dining chairs and curtains today.  Last weekend, the girls dropped by and delivered the kitchenaid to my doorstep too.

Many thanks to those who helped, no thanks to those who made things so difficult for us.

It’s time to start wedding preparations, although I really do not look forward to it at all.  To me, I’m already married and he’s already my husband, and it doesn’t really matter whether or not we have a ceremony – it’s just for show isn’t it?  But the show must go on.  I’m going to send my dress for alteration by next weekend, fixed my pre-wed photography date and did up a timeline for the rest of the stuff.  There’s so much details to take care of, and at times it really feels like a one-man-show and Jan can’t do so much all at once.  Jan doesn’t even have enough sleep, let alone groom myself and workout to look beautiful on my big day.

At times, it really takes so much to be in control of everything.  Jan’s on it!

.::. Faint .::.

Yesterday, I was supposed to wake up early to get a few more bulbs/T5 lights before going down to the home for light installations.  I woke up with a slight tummy ache and had diarrhea.  At one point, it was so painful that I squeezed my eyes shut and held on to my tummy.

The next thing I know, I was on the floor.

For a moment, I did not know what was happening.  I thought I was still sleeping in bed.  Then I started groaning, trying hard to regain consciousness and open my eyes.  I was on the toilet floor, and pain was radiating from everywhere.  Then it hit me what I have lost consciousness and fell from the toilet bowl.

It's ridiculous! I've no idea what happened and it's the first time I lost consciousness.  I have a huge bump on my forehead, my cheek is bruised, my nose bridge hurts (luckily didn't have a nose job) and my gums were bleeding (i was wearing retainers).

They are still hurting now, and my parents heard a loud bang downstairs, not knowing that I fell.  I might have fell and hit my head on the sink and god-knows-where.

It has never happened before. Perhaps it's the nightmares and stress I've been under lately. =(

And the most amazing thing was, the first thought I had when I regained consciousness was that I need to get up and go get lights!

I haven't seen a doctor, since it's quite pointless and they're going to give me painkillers.  Moreover, I am in between jobs and couldn't claim the medical fees!

So I lay down for awhile and went to the house for lights installations, meeting with neighbors and spent most of the day sweeping the house floor.  My parents were worried and accompanied me to the house and bought lights, had lunch together before leaving me at my place.

Honestly, I don't feel that bad, except from some giddiness lately.  And I've been exercising every week too.  Sometimes I think that I really need to slow down and stop doing so many things all the time.  I'm always rushing to somewhere, and I really hope to have some time to myself, laze around and do nothing.  Hopefully things will slow down once the house is ready.

No more fainting!  It's really scary and painful..!

.::. The Renovation Saga .::.

We have finally finalized our renovation details last Saturday, and I am so thankful for that.  We have had many issues, mainly because the MIL insisted that we let the relative do the carpentry work.  It was so frustrating for us, and led to a whole week of arguments which left all of us really tired. MIL initially said that we can look around and also consider the relative before choosing. But when she knew that we were going to finalize things with another contractor, bypassing the relative, she spent a whole week trying to persuade us to use the relative. It wasn't pretty. We had to give in to appease the MIL, and to me, it's a lose-lose situation and was very unpleasant for all involved.

We originally wanted to use the relative for our renovations, since he offered to do it for us at minimal profits.  Cost was an issue as we're on a budget. We did look around before going to him, just to get more suggestions and know the market rates.  But in the end, we decided not to let him do our renovations due to many reasons.

April Week 2: We went to discuss the works needed, which were pretty straightforward since we were already sure about of what we wanted.

April Week 4: He finally came back with the quote, with quite a few items missing or extra.

May Week 1: We went down to discuss and adjust the quote, waited for over 2 hours. Discussion fell flat as he wasn't willing to negotiate and insisted that he has never done any project with such low profit margins.  He also said that he did not want to do our business nor earn our money.

May Week 3: No news.

An item in contention is this fee for dismantling of plastic partition in toilet.  We were charged $320 for it and find it unreasonable since some neighbours have dismantled it by themselves easily.  Husband argued with him, and he insisted that it's reasonable because of the manpower and disposal required. Husband wasn't happy about it and told him that he will do it himself instead. Plumbing works were also around $1300, which we find really expensive.  I was also unhappy about the price of this hob - he charged $310 while I was quoted $215 including delivery from outsiders.  List prices in shops were also $280.  And he said that we'll be given a good price as he's a distributor!  In short, both of us weren't very happy about how things went. The relative also agreed to adjust the quote accordingly, and we took a wait-and-see attitude.

After that unpleasant meeting with the relative, I suppose both of us knew in our heart that it's not working out.  The quote wasn't cheap, there was no room for discussion and he was taking very long to get back to us.  Reviews online was less than flattering, and we really felt that there will be delays and many complications with no recourse if we were to use him.  Perhaps that's why many people do not encourage using relatives for renovations to avoid such issues.

We started meeting with a few other contractors after that meeting, mostly contractors who were recommended from renotalk or friends.  All of the quotes (all in) were cheaper than what the relative quoted. Moreover, the relative's quote does not include haulage(~1k), electrical works (~3k), and the top-up for smaller and more expensive tiles(~1k).

After 2 weeks of meeting contractors, both of us chose the contractor whom we were most comfortable with and had experience in similar themes.  Everything was effortless and enjoyable.  The first time I called him, he immediately made an appointment to view the site. He was early, and I like that because being on time tells you something about a person.  He came with a measuring tape and a small notebook, and talked quickly, moving around efficiently.  He went around, giving us suggestions and telling us what was feasible and what was desirable.  He didn't even measure much things nor took down any notes! It was apparent that he's very experienced and knew what he was doing. It took about an hour and he left, promising to give us a quote.

In 3 days or so, I received a round-figure quote from him.  Within the week, the detailed quote was also sent to me. We've more or less decided on him when we met him again at the site again 3rd week of May.  We made some adjustments to our required works, and he came back with the quote in a day.  


By now, the MIL found out that we are on the verge  of confirming the contractor and started insisting that we use the relative, at least for the carpentry because he had his own factory and offered internal laminates. We weren't keen as we preferred one contractor coordinating everything and really would like to avoid any more negotiation and complications with the relative. The MIL called me and spoke non-stop for a whole 30 minutes till the husband took the phone from me.  No matter what I said, she simply kept insisting that we let the relative do our carpentry.  Then there's the 'don't give her face' talk. She even told me things like all contractors are out to con me, that they are only nice now because they want my business. Once I sign up with them, they'll not be as nice anymore. It's like we are really naive little kids who know not we were doing. And seriously, of course I would give my business to people who really want it instead of people who does not want it right?!

We did not want to use the relative because:
1. He does not seem to want our business, no follow-up on the adjustments required after 3 weeks.
2. We were concerned about delays, complications and lack of recourse. See 1.
3. We prefer one contractor overseeing everything.
4. We were really tired of waiting and negotiating as we have made no headway the past 5 weeks.
5. We were supposed to be quoted at minimal profit, but it does not seem to be the case and it's not worth the trouble.

It was impossible to decline, no matter how hard we tried.  I've never seen the husband so angry nor so fierce in the past 8 years together.  In his words, 'it's like world war three is coming'. So he spent the week arguing with the MIL day and night, and he finally caved in and ask the relative for a quotation by the next day based on the carpentry work we required. The main point in contention is PVC vs laminates insides. MIL insists that PVC is bad and poisonous, although we really don't care nor mind.

We did get a 'quotation' the next day, which was pretty much exactly the same quote which was given to us 3 weeks ago, without any adjustments! It pissed me off, because we waited 2 hours to discuss the adjustments needed! After 3 weeks, we were still at the same place and no adjustments were done. Moreover, the husband asked explicitly for the quotation of that few carpentry items, but got a huge excel sheet instead.  I'm not sure what went wrong, but it really wasn't working and both us us were really upset.

After receiving the 'quote' I wrote an email to all parties involved, asking for their understanding and respect no matter what decision we made.  We decided not to use the relative afterall, since again, no quote was given for the carpentry and it wasn't cheap. The discounted quote came to 35k, but did not take into account any adjustments we wanted, does not include haulage and electricity nor the more expensive tiles  It wasn't worth the trouble at all, and it's impossible to get our renovation done smoothly at this rate.  It was not possible to go back to him - imagine how long more would it take to finalize all our works required. I shudder when I think of going through everything again. The husband called the relative and he seemed alright with it.  Yet, the MIL continued arguing with the husband and insisted that they will match our contractor prices. *sigh.  Both of us were really weary now, and I was like 'whatever, just let him do it if he can match the prices'. We were simply so sick of this - something so simple could be made so complicated with everyone feeling frustrated and upset.  What's the point?

In the end, we drafted a contract with our exact requirements and price for them to sign within the same day.  If we can't come to an agreement by Friday, we will confirm things with our contractor by Saturday.  They did agree to our contract and we will only pay when we are satisfied with the works.   The terms ain't bad and we have nothing to lose in a way, but it was really an unpleasant experience. The relative still commented that our contractor prices were expensive, although I don't think that it's fair to compare his own factory prices to our contractor who uses a sub-con. Similarly, our contractor's wet works were so much cheaper.  But anyway, this was not solely about prices and our contractor's all-in price  (at a healthy margin) was about 20% less compared to his price (at a supposedly minimal margin).

Meanwhile, our contractor, K was very understanding about our situation.  He gave us 2 quotations, one with and one without carpentry.  He even advised us to let the relative do it to avoid trouble. He also answered all my enquires about the materials he uses to achieve the look we wanted, although he knows that he'll not be doing our carpentry.  He still volunteered to go down and coordinate things with our carpenter if needed.  *sigh. Working with him is really enjoyable and effortless, and I'm really thankful to have found such a great contractor.

So, we finally did confirm everything by Saturday as the husband was flying off on Sunday. We marked out the electrical points and handed the flat to our contractor.  We should be all set to start very soon!

I hope and pray that everything goes well from now on.  I pretty much trust K to do our renovations well after seeing his workmanship and befriending his previous customers.  Worst case senecio is having problems and delays with our carpentry and not having them done before the 7th month.  Oh well, since I can't anticipate and prevent anything, I'm just going to enjoy the process and excitement for now. I'm totally relying on the husband to settle the carpentry side of things, and I wish not to be involved.


I guess one big take away from this saga is to avoid doing business with closed ones.  Perhaps we shouldn't even have agreed to approach him at all.  


But most importantly, both of us know that issues and arguments like this will not be the last when the MIL has such a character and insist on putting her leg into everything we do for whatever reason.


Thank god for giving us our own place! Otherwise, we probably wouldn't have got married and I'd rather stay single and buy my own place at 35 than move into his place. I totally anticipated issues like that and it's going to be pathatic if I'd rather stay out than go 'home'. *sigh. Why is everything so difficult?  Sometimes it really feels like our lives is like a drama. It really takes all my faith and inner strength to stay sane during times like this.


For now, I'm going to immerse myself in renovations and enjoy this exciting period with the husband.  =)

.::. Troubled .::.

Source: eighteen25.blogspot.com via Abby on Pinterest

Gotta have faith that good things will come my way, because I have been good.

Come what may, I already have the most important things in life.

.::. I'm Back .::.

I'm back.

And I'm really happy to be back.  I'm even happy to head back to work despite a bad throat infection (that lasted the past 2 weeks) and an MC.

Strange.  Very strange indeed.

This trip is...extraordinary.  Totally not the type of holiday I'm used to.  It was an incredible experience though.

So much to say, a whirl of emotions.

I'm thankful.



And here's one of my favorite shots of the trip - our signature jumping shots at the Everest Viewpoint near Namche.  It's about 3500m, and the highest we managed to climb.

It's the first holiday that I kept a diary and wrote down my experience everyday.  I'm not sure if I'm going to manage posting about it all there though.  I just managed to upload all the pictures, almost 8GB of them - lesser than I thought I would take.

Very busy month ahead.  So much to do, so much happening at the work and personal front.  With 2 weeks worth of emails and deadlines to meet and the regional meeting next week, plus collection of keys for our flat and some wedding preparations and renovation research, I'm up to my neck.

Is it March already?!

Breathe.

.::. Hush .::.

Everything will turn out fine.

Life's too short to be upset.

I need a holiday. And alot more money.

.::. Stress .::.

I honestly think that the main factor in the aging equation is stress. Despite all the exercise and healthy habits you keep, you still age in an environment of stress. And of course, child birth causes women to age faster too!

When I'm stressed, I can literally feel it. I'm more sensitive to stress and recognizing it after being stress-free during that one year in Sweden. I felt heavier and weighed down once I got back to Singapore. Then I realized, that is how stress feels like. I've been under constant stress since young that I never learnt how it felt.

I'm stressed these days. With the exams coming up in a week, wedding coming up in 3 weeks and the monitoring of flat selection plus financial planning, I can't help but feel the stress!

When I'm stressed, I need more sleep. It's the best stress buster for me. Nothing beats a good sleep. But sleep sometimes elude me when I'm stressed! Then I become prone to flu, like I am now.

One of the simplest thing which makes me happy is sleep! It's so underrated and taken for granted.

Hello sleep, my stress-buster.

.::. Mugging .::.

Have been trying to study these days.

Financial Management paper in 8 weeks or so.

Need to try harder.

.::. Sick .::.

I have been down since Thursday. It has been horrible, and I haven't felt this bad for a long time.

I was still alright on Thursday. I was in a meeting, when I started having cold hands and simply unwell. I sat through the whole thing and by the time I came out, I felt sick. I really felt like puking and my tummy felt weird. I totally feel faint. After direahea in the office, I still felt horrible. I ended up rushing myself home in a cab - during peak hour no less! Super expensive and detrimental to my housing fund.

When I was home, I puked. Everything. All my lunch and whatever that was left inside. I felt better, and I assumed that I would feel better since I've cleared everything I had in me.

Wrong. After a 2 hour nap, I felt even worst. I felt weak all over and I was in pain. I felt cold with a horrible headache to boot. I tried to have some food, yet all I managed was some vegetables before crawling back to bed. It was the most horrible experience I remember, having my whole body in pain and feeling really cold. I never have painkillers, never. Yet I popped 2 and went to bed.

I woke up on Friday with a headache and still feeling weak, but I had an early morning tele-conference to attend. But the U.S. guy did not turn up and I ended up going back to bed. I felt really miserable. Thankfully, the boyfriend bought congree over, with XiaoLongBaos which I couldn't even stomach - I can't believe that either.

Doctor says I've stomach viral infection. But if you ask me? I think my stomach has weakend over the past year in Sweden. Why? Because I've been eating so healthily, with lots of soupy dishes and stir-fry meat and salad. I almost NEVER ate fried food in Sweden. Now, my stomach feels weird even after my favourite hot and spicy soup. 2 meals with slightly oily/fried food and I'll feel really weird. I crave for fish bee hoon and ban mian these days. Does healthy eating strengthen your stomach? Apparently N.O., pampering it with healthy food makes it weak.

I was practically in bed the whole weekend, praying hard that more rest would give me a speedy full recovery. I've tonnes of work waiting for me in the office, and tomorrow would be a long day at work.

I take solace that it's a short week. But then again, not so good when you have lots of work on hand. These 2 weeks have been really busy and stressful. Sighsigh. Be careful what you wish for.

.::. Crazy Men .::.

Today, I saw a crazy man on the road, trying to block cars from moving. He left this long metal thing that looks like a gun on the floor and was shouting and gesturing with his hands. He even banged on the bonnet of cars who had to stop in-front of him.

It's the second time I saw such an incident this month. The last time was outside 126 when we were having supper after my class. He threw his backpack on the road and started blocking cars, banging on them and shouting.

I don't know what happened at 126, since that man was no longer there after we finished supper. But at City Hall today, the police came. I went to get my DSLR accessories at Peninsular and saw a commotion when I came out. That man was lying on the floor, curled into a ball, shouting god-knows-what. 2 policemen stood beside him and looked at him, looking seemingly helpless. People were gathering around them, taking videos and pictures

I wonder what did they do with people like that. I reckon all the police could do is remove them from the roads and perhaps inform their family to bring them back.

Is it a coincidence that I've been seeing incidents like these recently, or is it that more people are going crazy? And why has stopping cars on the road become so popular?!

Is Singapore becoming too stressful a place to stay in, resulting in more people going crazy?

Food for thought.

.::. Long Weekend? .::.

The 'long weekend' flew past. Monday is peeking again. I realized that I only have some time during Sundays to reflect on my week before the week goes into full throttle again.

So, what have I done this 'long weekend'?

I brought my sister to the movies on Thursday, since she wanted to watch 'Liar Game'. By the time I hit the sack, it was already 2am.

I was supposed to have brunch with the girls at PS Cafe on Friday morning before class, but I really couldn't. I felt to tired and flu-ish. I ended sleeping in and finishing up on homework before rushing for classes. I had dinner with Joey after classes and went to get stuff for the BBQ on Saturday. After getting the meat and wings marinated, I only made it to bed at 2am again!

Saturday was classes, then straight to his place before everyone arrives. At least it was something which I've been looking forward to, and it's nice to have a gathering. I always love a good BBQ. My marinated wings were yums, so were the pork belly! We ended the night playing 'Taboo'. I had fun, and I hope everyone did too, especially the birthday boy.

By the time we cleaned up, it was already 3am. He insisted on cleaning and washing everything, so obviously I can't leave him doing it alone. I was so tired, it took all my will power to make it to class again today. I spent almost 20 hours in class this 'long' weekend, and there's another 20 hours of class awaiting next weekend. =(

That's it. My 'long' weekend was over. It wasn't long enough for me, and it's Monday again!

I'm still so tired, I can't differentiate if it's physically or mentally. It's mentally draining to go for classes, having the lecturer screaming that we should revise everyday and do this and that. *goodness. I don't have that energy.

It's a long and busy week ahead.

.::. Across the ocean, across the sea .::.



We took a stroll today, to East Coast Park.

It's actually quite a nice place really.

We brought Chinook along, and he's really alot braver now! But then, he's still timid by nature and refused to go into the water. He's also really afraid of bicycles.



It has been a quiet and calm evening, something which I needed.

Eversince I have been back, I really feel the stress. It's not like anyone is actually giving me stress, but it's just the whole environment in which I am in and the questions people ask. Jobs, money and marriage are constant topics, no matter who I talk to. As much as we may resent the way things are, we seem to be constantly reinforcing reality and subconsciously, stress.

I missed home so much while I was in Sweden. I missed the food and efficiency especially, but I was almost stress-free there. I never had trouble sleeping nor feel stressed. I simply felt so light and we don't seem to chat about stressful matters either. Europeans have such a laid-back perspective to life that it rubs off you. They don't seem to worry about much at all, not much about money nor job nor savings nor marriage nor society's/family's expectations of them. They simply seem so...free.

When I'm stressed, I need to go jogging or take a stroll. Otherwise I'll simply hide under my blankets, curl up and sleep it away.When a couple is jobless and job-hunting, there are times that it's hard to be upbeat and the frustration becomes contagious.

I think it's quarter-life crisis, 6 months early. I feel myself being swept by society's currents - do the 'right' thing, get a job, , save up, get married, have kids, earn more money to support your kids. While there's nothing wrong with that, there's this resistance within me which questions why I should follow the flow. What do I really want to do with my life?

I dread going back to the days, dragging myself to work, hating every moment of it, hoping that time passes me by so that I can get paid and clock enough time for my resume before I can quit. Everyweek passes me by, because I'm always looking forward to Fridays and the weekends are over before I know it.

In short, I was hoping that my life would be able to be over quickly. It's really a horrifying thought, living my life and hoping that days could pass me by ASAP, without really enjoying and cherishing everyday.

Being away for a year and being around so many different people, I have learnt that there are different ways to live life and that it is possible to enjoy living. Yet being back, coming back to this pressure-cooker environment, what I am most afraid of is that I'll flow with the society's current yet again.

I'm afraid that when I become a mother, I'm going to put my child through the same thing. I'm afraid that I'll become one of those mothers who enrol my child to endless enrichment lessons and put so much focus and stress on his results. But I jolly-well know that it's essential for this society, and preparing him for it is probably what I should do. I used to be an advocate of this, but now I question if it's even the right environment to bring up my child in.

Parents teach their child many things, yet they don't teach them how to be happy and how to be contented. We are trained to be never satisfied, always ask for more.Having too much time to reflect might not be a good thing. Perhaps in no time, I'll become that detached accountant again, staring at my computer screen 12 hours a day and coming home dead-tired, without any excess energy to think.

It's scary, how life passes you by. How to actually cherish everyday and do something meaningful everyday?

20 years down the road, will I be proud of what I have achieved or done?

.::. Interviews .::.

5 interviews later, I'm dreading more interviews and would just like to have a job. *sigh. What happened to the drive to find a 'perfect job'?

I dislike interviews, not because I am nervous or because I am afraid of the questions they ask. I dislike interviews because I have to look presentable, have good composture, look smart and interested yet not too desperate and answer the same questions again and again! Then there's the traveling part to different offices all over Singapore, sometimes at not-so-convenient locations too.

Apart from these interviews, I spent alot of time looking through those advertisements and sending out many applications practically everyday (days when I'm not watching soccer).

I must have faith. The piggy bank is empty and I need a job soon.

Job-hunting is stressful, not like having a job is not stressful. *sigh. All the stress is weighing down on me, it's suffocating!