.::. Those Days .::.

You know, there are some days when you simply feel like hiding in the covers and not do anything else? Except that it's been quite a few such days in a row and I feel miserable. It must be PMS and period cramps!

It's one of those days when you wonder what are you supposed to do with your life. 

.::. The Importance of being on time .::

Wanted to share an article which I came across: "The importance of being on time".

I hate it when people are late, as in very late. 10-15 minutes is really fine, but some people are simply chronically late for whatever reasons (or excuses) that it becomes a habit.

And yes, it's rude and inconsiderate and a waste of peoples' time. It also shows how much you care or respect others. As you grow older, time becomes more precious. It's really a pain to spend time waiting and waiting.

I hate it when dinner is supposed to be at 730 but people stroll in at 830. You're not supposed to leave house at the meeting time but leave enough time to travel. It fills me with dread when I'm supposed to meet people like that and it makes me feel like being late too. Why should I care if they don't? And you know what's the worse thing? When you purposely arrive late, but still end up too early. *face palm*

I can go on forever about such experiences. And really, sometimes I ask myself, why should I be the one waiting? Why aren't they embarrassed about causing others' inconvenience?

Oh well, these are the points that the article brought out:

Being punctual strengthens and reveals your integrity.
Being punctual shows you are dependable. 
Being punctual builds your self-confidence. 
Being punctual assures you’re at your best.
Being punctual builds and reveals your discipline.
Being punctual shows your humility.
Being punctual shows your respect for others.
Being late is a form of stealing.
Being late disturbs the experiences of other people. 
Being late strains your relationships.
Being late hurts your professional career.
Being late takes a toll on your life.

Try to be on-time people!

.::. 有苦难言 .::.

有时候真的会想家。嫁出去了，就是不一样。特别是觉得自己受到委屈的时候，总是想就跑回家躲起来痛哭一场。以后的路还有好长啊。真的可以一起到老吗？

.::. Carpentry Update .::.

We went down yesterday to get an update on our carpentry status since they were unable to meet initial July dateline and have not been replying our emails/sms/calls. We needed to know what was the completion status, scheduled date, reason for delay etc. 3 weeks ago, they told us it'll be ready in 2-3 weeks, and now, they are telling us another 3 weeks more. With the negative reviews on forums and delays, we really needed some answers. We can't just sit down here and wait and pray that carpentry would arrive some day right?

Let's just say that it was really a horrible experience and no customer would want to go through this.

- The carpenter assigned to our job says that it will take 20 more days. And if he is sick for one day, it will take 21 days. If anything happens to him, well, it will take god-knows-how-much-longer. These are things that they cannot control. We were told that the 'best carpenter' was assigned to us, and they were already rushing our job. Only kitchen was completed after 3 weeks. If not happy, get someone else to do. What did we expect them to do? Kowtow to us? Basically, if the carpenter changes his mind and say he needs another 30 days, there's nothing much we can do.

- We were seemingly at fault for chasing them to meet the deadline they initially committed. We were told that we were too calculative and making a big fuss, and that it is not a matter of life and death, so what if it takes a few more weeks? Although we were not in a rush to move in, a deadline committed was a deadline committed!! 5 weeks for carpentry is ample time, and they weren't even apologetic about not meeting the deadline.

- I told them that we were busy, and do not have time to keep chasing them to get work done. I was told that I'm not the only one busy, they are also busy, no time to reply emails/sms although it was been weeks since simple questions like what is the expected completion date was asked.

- They got all defensive and aggressive when we mentioned that they had very bad reviews with lots of delays on forums, and that we were very concerned.

- We agreed that they should work on vanity for toilets first, so kitchen and vanity could be delivered and installed for my plumber to come.

And there were all that drama and tears, pulling in all irrelevant things into the picture. Playing dirty when they can't give any satisfactory explanation nor solution.

Lesson learnt: You can never try to reason with unreasonable people. Whoever is older and cries first win.

We have no way of ascertaining that our kitchen is indeed done. No way of getting them to meet deadline 20 days later. Chasing doesn't help, and with that kind of attitude, there's just nothing much we can do.

Just when we thought we agreed on the sequence of works, they called to say that our shoe cabinet laminate is out of stock. They were supposed to work on our toilet vanities first! And 2 of the few laminates we chose were OOS.

Words can't describe how I feel about this whole saga.  I feel broken, and I know the husband must feel so much worst. 


I will have faith, that the bad can never triumph over the good. That there is karma and what goes around will come around. I'm still struggling to understand how some people could be this horrible. They must be really insecure and unhappy people. Perhaps that was what he meant that he has been having it worst and I wouldn't understand.  Maybe he has been trying to protect me.  But at least now, with everything out in the open, I truly feel him.  I'm angry, not only because of this horrible people, but how much they keep hurting him so deep and I can't do anything for him.


I'm thankful for the great husband and all the wonderful people I have around me.  Chin up and carry on, there's a long and tough road ahead.

Guard your peace and your heart. Nothing matters when you stand secured in your love.

 It was always me who comforted her, yet today it was her who gave me a much needed push. Thank you!


Fighting!

.::. 一哭二闹三上吊 .::.

Another lesson learnt today.

It's impossible to reason with unreasonable people.

And it amazes me how some people can be so deluded, so unreasonable.  You talk to them about A, they pull out B, C D, E, F.  The most unreasonable people always win, once they start crying, screaming and saying the most ridiculous things.

I have no idea how carpentry delay could end up with talk about god and heaven, about childhood hardship and hatred.  Having two 50-year-olds screaming and crying right in-front of you was too much drama and too much to bear.

Unreasonable people always wins, because people with reason would always step back and give in to them.  But they win at the expense of the relationships with the people around them.

I guess there are just some people who will live their whole life not finding happiness.

I don't hate people like that.  In fact, I don't spend any part of my life hating people.  Life's too short for that.

I pity them.  I truly do.

At the end of the day, the big guy would make judgement wouldn't he?  I suppose everything happens for a reason, and everyone will reap what they sow.

.::. Week 8 Concluded .::.

It's already Week 8, and I'm losing count of the weeks we've been doing renovation.  This seemingly endless journey, for our carpentry delivery date is unknown.  It's driving me to despair.

Despite chasing, chasing, chasing and chasing, we simply couldn't get a scheduled date for carpentry delivery.  They've missed the end-July dateline agreed in the beginning of July.  It has been easily 10 weeks since we have informed them of our schedule to have carpentry measurements end of June.  5 whole weeks since we've requested them to take measurements, 3 whole weeks since measurements were taken.

Chasing them to get the carpenter down was already a chore.  And now, despite chasing and chasing again, we can't even get any confirmation if carpentry can be delivered by National Day.  We have clearly communicated that we wanted our renovation to be completed before 15th August, when the 7th month starts since 3 months ago!

Seriously?  I'm fuming mad.  We really should not have given in to THE MIL, knowing that delays were almost certain.  I'm really worried too, after reading all the bad reviews, horrible workmanship and delays of their customers.  After she insisted and hounded us to let the relative do the carpentry, promising to follow up and assuring us that a good job will be done, these still happened.  And what can we do except to continue waiting, chasing and hoping that somehow, they can get our carpentry delivered in good condition.

It's beyond my ability to be positive and hopeful now really.

Thank you for screwing up my renovations.  Thank you for your horrible service and attitude.  Thank you for not responding.  Thank you for not even bothering to try to explain or commit a delivery date.  Thank you for making everyone so frustrated.  Thank you for wasting our time and effort.  Thank you for spoiling my almost perfect renovation experience.

Most of all, thank you for making me learn my lesson.  No more again. I'm learning how not to hate, trying to let go and still be thankful for all I have.

Even thinking of it makes me sick.  My room is becoming a warehouse with boxes and bags of things waiting to be moved to our new place.  The furniture and electronics which were supposed to be delivered soon, keep getting postponed.  People keep calling me up to confirm the delivery, but I simply can't give them a date because I have no clue when my carpenter would come!  Everything is put on hold.

I need to remember this, remember my lesson, lest I commit the same mistake again.



This was Day 52.  I finally bought a fan and 2 stools for the home.  It was my little nook for the afternoon while I supervised the air-con installation.



It was a really sunny day.  The view from MBR air-con ledge window.



Living room air-con installed and brick wall touched up.



Guest/Baby room.



Study room.



MBR air-con.

Our contractor K came down that day too, the tiler came to do touch-ups.  I really enjoy working with my contractor.  I'm really thankful that he has done everything so beautifully for us, and it has been so easy communicating with him, not having to chase him at all.  I actually tried my luck to get him add a few ledges in the toilet to put toiletries.  He usually grumbles and complains, but with some persuading, he usually does it for us.  =)



2 ledges for the MBR toilet.



1 ledge for common toilet.

These are only half-done.  They will add sand/cement to about an inch, finishing will be cement.  The tile is cut, before drilling a slit in the wall to slot the tile in for support.  The cement will seal it to the wall.  He kept telling me that it usually cost $300 per ledge.

I guess every cloud has a silver lining and Kevin is ours on this renovation journey.  =)

And for carpentry, they are telling us it's another 2-3 more weeks.  *sigh.  They told us 2-3 weeks 3 weeks ago.  I'm most worried that they are going to tell us another 3 more weeks 3 weeks later.  Or deliver something with bad workmanship or wrong dimensions, and we will have to spend many more weeks chasing them for rectification.

It's driving me crazy.

.::. Fatigue and Frustrations .::.

I'm tired.

Have been having headaches and giddy spells these days.  =(

We're having issues with carpentry (as expected).  The uncle and MIL visited our place and took measurements last Monday.  I gave them all the designs which I've drawn to scale on graph paper, it's pretty straightforward.  We met up to discuss and choose laminates on Saturday, and only some drawings were done, my 3D kitchen does not resemble my kitchen at all.

Schedule is to finish carpentry by the end of this month (4 weeks for carpentry).  They were supposed to send us the finalized designs (in whatever formats) and get the carpenter in for measurements 'early this week'.

It's already Thursday, late in the week.

We have not received any drawings.  Husband sent an email out on Tuesday.  No reply.  MIL went to chase yesterday, and they promised drawings to be done today.  It's already midnight and I don't receive anything.

The week is ending and I don't see any drawings, no news about when the carpenter is coming and everything has to be done through MIL.  Another week is wasted, nothing done.  Why is is so difficult to get some simple drawings done when I've basically provided drawn-to-scale drawings?

It's a pain to work like this.  At this rate we are not going to get carpentry done by the end of the month.   4 weeks for carpentry is ample time, but at the rate they are dragging things, I've no clue how long this is going to take.  2 weeks have passed. Husband chases MIL and uncle, gets empty promises, and nothing get delivered.

Seriously?

It makes me f*cking pissed off.

It was her who insisted that we use the relative for the whole renovation, and after making a ruckus, we finally conceded to use him for the carpentry.  All the talk about how naive we were, how the contractors out there are out to earn my money but don't do a good job, how using 'your own people' is better, give her face etc...In the end, my contractor finished the majority of his works in 4 weeks, smoothly and without issues while my carpentry is still not moving after 2 weeks.

All I can say is, no more second time.  I can't take this shit, it's driving me nuts.

DO NOT USE YOUR RELATIVES FOR RENOVATION!  

I should have heeded all the advices others gave.  But we still gave in to appease the MIL.

I'm thankful that we insisted NOT to use the relative for all our works.  It makes our contractor seem like god - we didn't have to chase him at all, he arranged everything and updated us almost everyday.  Responsive, good attitude and all.  It made the whole renovation process so enjoyable and fuss-free.  You pay, decide and he delivers - isn't that how things are supposed to be?

.::. The Renovation Saga .::.

We have finally finalized our renovation details last Saturday, and I am so thankful for that.  We have had many issues, mainly because the MIL insisted that we let the relative do the carpentry work.  It was so frustrating for us, and led to a whole week of arguments which left all of us really tired. MIL initially said that we can look around and also consider the relative before choosing. But when she knew that we were going to finalize things with another contractor, bypassing the relative, she spent a whole week trying to persuade us to use the relative. It wasn't pretty. We had to give in to appease the MIL, and to me, it's a lose-lose situation and was very unpleasant for all involved.

We originally wanted to use the relative for our renovations, since he offered to do it for us at minimal profits.  Cost was an issue as we're on a budget. We did look around before going to him, just to get more suggestions and know the market rates.  But in the end, we decided not to let him do our renovations due to many reasons.

April Week 2: We went to discuss the works needed, which were pretty straightforward since we were already sure about of what we wanted.

April Week 4: He finally came back with the quote, with quite a few items missing or extra.

May Week 1: We went down to discuss and adjust the quote, waited for over 2 hours. Discussion fell flat as he wasn't willing to negotiate and insisted that he has never done any project with such low profit margins.  He also said that he did not want to do our business nor earn our money.

May Week 3: No news.

An item in contention is this fee for dismantling of plastic partition in toilet.  We were charged $320 for it and find it unreasonable since some neighbours have dismantled it by themselves easily.  Husband argued with him, and he insisted that it's reasonable because of the manpower and disposal required. Husband wasn't happy about it and told him that he will do it himself instead. Plumbing works were also around $1300, which we find really expensive.  I was also unhappy about the price of this hob - he charged $310 while I was quoted $215 including delivery from outsiders.  List prices in shops were also $280.  And he said that we'll be given a good price as he's a distributor!  In short, both of us weren't very happy about how things went. The relative also agreed to adjust the quote accordingly, and we took a wait-and-see attitude.

After that unpleasant meeting with the relative, I suppose both of us knew in our heart that it's not working out.  The quote wasn't cheap, there was no room for discussion and he was taking very long to get back to us.  Reviews online was less than flattering, and we really felt that there will be delays and many complications with no recourse if we were to use him.  Perhaps that's why many people do not encourage using relatives for renovations to avoid such issues.

We started meeting with a few other contractors after that meeting, mostly contractors who were recommended from renotalk or friends.  All of the quotes (all in) were cheaper than what the relative quoted. Moreover, the relative's quote does not include haulage(~1k), electrical works (~3k), and the top-up for smaller and more expensive tiles(~1k).

After 2 weeks of meeting contractors, both of us chose the contractor whom we were most comfortable with and had experience in similar themes.  Everything was effortless and enjoyable.  The first time I called him, he immediately made an appointment to view the site. He was early, and I like that because being on time tells you something about a person.  He came with a measuring tape and a small notebook, and talked quickly, moving around efficiently.  He went around, giving us suggestions and telling us what was feasible and what was desirable.  He didn't even measure much things nor took down any notes! It was apparent that he's very experienced and knew what he was doing. It took about an hour and he left, promising to give us a quote.

In 3 days or so, I received a round-figure quote from him.  Within the week, the detailed quote was also sent to me. We've more or less decided on him when we met him again at the site again 3rd week of May.  We made some adjustments to our required works, and he came back with the quote in a day.  


By now, the MIL found out that we are on the verge  of confirming the contractor and started insisting that we use the relative, at least for the carpentry because he had his own factory and offered internal laminates. We weren't keen as we preferred one contractor coordinating everything and really would like to avoid any more negotiation and complications with the relative. The MIL called me and spoke non-stop for a whole 30 minutes till the husband took the phone from me.  No matter what I said, she simply kept insisting that we let the relative do our carpentry.  Then there's the 'don't give her face' talk. She even told me things like all contractors are out to con me, that they are only nice now because they want my business. Once I sign up with them, they'll not be as nice anymore. It's like we are really naive little kids who know not we were doing. And seriously, of course I would give my business to people who really want it instead of people who does not want it right?!

We did not want to use the relative because:
1. He does not seem to want our business, no follow-up on the adjustments required after 3 weeks.
2. We were concerned about delays, complications and lack of recourse. See 1.
3. We prefer one contractor overseeing everything.
4. We were really tired of waiting and negotiating as we have made no headway the past 5 weeks.
5. We were supposed to be quoted at minimal profit, but it does not seem to be the case and it's not worth the trouble.

It was impossible to decline, no matter how hard we tried.  I've never seen the husband so angry nor so fierce in the past 8 years together.  In his words, 'it's like world war three is coming'. So he spent the week arguing with the MIL day and night, and he finally caved in and ask the relative for a quotation by the next day based on the carpentry work we required. The main point in contention is PVC vs laminates insides. MIL insists that PVC is bad and poisonous, although we really don't care nor mind.

We did get a 'quotation' the next day, which was pretty much exactly the same quote which was given to us 3 weeks ago, without any adjustments! It pissed me off, because we waited 2 hours to discuss the adjustments needed! After 3 weeks, we were still at the same place and no adjustments were done. Moreover, the husband asked explicitly for the quotation of that few carpentry items, but got a huge excel sheet instead.  I'm not sure what went wrong, but it really wasn't working and both us us were really upset.

After receiving the 'quote' I wrote an email to all parties involved, asking for their understanding and respect no matter what decision we made.  We decided not to use the relative afterall, since again, no quote was given for the carpentry and it wasn't cheap. The discounted quote came to 35k, but did not take into account any adjustments we wanted, does not include haulage and electricity nor the more expensive tiles  It wasn't worth the trouble at all, and it's impossible to get our renovation done smoothly at this rate.  It was not possible to go back to him - imagine how long more would it take to finalize all our works required. I shudder when I think of going through everything again. The husband called the relative and he seemed alright with it.  Yet, the MIL continued arguing with the husband and insisted that they will match our contractor prices. *sigh.  Both of us were really weary now, and I was like 'whatever, just let him do it if he can match the prices'. We were simply so sick of this - something so simple could be made so complicated with everyone feeling frustrated and upset.  What's the point?

In the end, we drafted a contract with our exact requirements and price for them to sign within the same day.  If we can't come to an agreement by Friday, we will confirm things with our contractor by Saturday.  They did agree to our contract and we will only pay when we are satisfied with the works.   The terms ain't bad and we have nothing to lose in a way, but it was really an unpleasant experience. The relative still commented that our contractor prices were expensive, although I don't think that it's fair to compare his own factory prices to our contractor who uses a sub-con. Similarly, our contractor's wet works were so much cheaper.  But anyway, this was not solely about prices and our contractor's all-in price  (at a healthy margin) was about 20% less compared to his price (at a supposedly minimal margin).

Meanwhile, our contractor, K was very understanding about our situation.  He gave us 2 quotations, one with and one without carpentry.  He even advised us to let the relative do it to avoid trouble. He also answered all my enquires about the materials he uses to achieve the look we wanted, although he knows that he'll not be doing our carpentry.  He still volunteered to go down and coordinate things with our carpenter if needed.  *sigh. Working with him is really enjoyable and effortless, and I'm really thankful to have found such a great contractor.

So, we finally did confirm everything by Saturday as the husband was flying off on Sunday. We marked out the electrical points and handed the flat to our contractor.  We should be all set to start very soon!

I hope and pray that everything goes well from now on.  I pretty much trust K to do our renovations well after seeing his workmanship and befriending his previous customers.  Worst case senecio is having problems and delays with our carpentry and not having them done before the 7th month.  Oh well, since I can't anticipate and prevent anything, I'm just going to enjoy the process and excitement for now. I'm totally relying on the husband to settle the carpentry side of things, and I wish not to be involved.


I guess one big take away from this saga is to avoid doing business with closed ones.  Perhaps we shouldn't even have agreed to approach him at all.  


But most importantly, both of us know that issues and arguments like this will not be the last when the MIL has such a character and insist on putting her leg into everything we do for whatever reason.


Thank god for giving us our own place! Otherwise, we probably wouldn't have got married and I'd rather stay single and buy my own place at 35 than move into his place. I totally anticipated issues like that and it's going to be pathatic if I'd rather stay out than go 'home'. *sigh. Why is everything so difficult?  Sometimes it really feels like our lives is like a drama. It really takes all my faith and inner strength to stay sane during times like this.


For now, I'm going to immerse myself in renovations and enjoy this exciting period with the husband.  =)

.::. IDs and Attitude .::.

So, we managed to meet another contractor-ID tonight.  We rushed down after work to one of his completed project at Serangoon North.  It's super ulu to me, don't seem to have much around and isn't near MRT.  The view was pretty good and it was pretty windy though.

The flat was pretty simply done up, not much of a theme.  I've got to say that old houses are really bigger. What the hell is our MP saying, that our flats have remained the same size through the years?!  Has this guy stepped into HDB flats?  Foe one, old HDB flats does not have wasted corridor space nor bomb shelters and air-con ledge.  These are pretty substantial living space which are wasted now.  Do I believe that I'll be safe in the bomb shelter when anything happens?  Hell no.  I always tell the husband, the whole stack of bomb shelter in my stack will fall and I'm not going to survive from such a high floor.

Anyway, I'm really jealous of their huge bedrooms, kitchen, living rooms and store room.  The workmanship was pretty decent and the guys were very friendly and willing to accommodate.  Quotation wise, they are pretty reasonable and willing to negotiate.

The dilemma comes mainly from a quotation from a relative, who offered to help us with renovations and  was supposed to quote us at 'cost'.  However, despite the very competitive quotes for carpentry works, we were chopped for many other works.  We tried to negotiate, but when we went down, we waited for 2 whole hours!  Negotiation failed flat because he wasn't willing to negotiate at all and insisted that he was not earning our money and he has never made such low margins - 12%.  He got really defensive and agitated when we started counting items at psf prices.  I really wasn't very happy about these:

1. We waited for more than 2 weeks for the quotation.
2. We had to wait for 2 hours - time is money.
3. His attitude, like he's doing us a favor and did not want our business at all because he has many other customers.
4. Many details were not clear.  The number of sinks we chosen, the hobs I chosen, the accessories.
5.  I was overcharged for many items.  E.g. he claimed to give us a good price for the EF hobs and hoods because he's the distributor.  However, he charged me $310 for a particular model which I could get for $215 plus free delivery.  Other items include $320 labor to dismantle a PLASTIC partition in the common toilet.  He claims that it's very reasonable because disposal is required.  Labor cost for installing/plumbing works came to $1550.
6.  I dislike it that it seemed like we were given many 'free' things, when in fact, these 'free' things were sponsored from overcharging us.  I value integrity and honesty, don't give me bullshit like that because I've done my research.
7.  ATTITUDE, ATTITUDE, ATTITUDE.  I am paying 40k for this, and I expect service!  This is hard-earned money and my parents were kind enough to sponsor a very substantial amount as a wedding gift.
8. The time line and coordination work is unclear.  I am almost sure that our job will be dragged and if there are any issues, it's going to be difficult to negotiate.
9.  A simple online research showed bad reviews, bad service and some delays.

His carpentry works are really very competitive, but the quote is definitely not at cost.  Despite all the freebies, his quote is still about 10-20% more expensive than the contractor/ID we spoke to.  The only difference is the insides of the carpentry work, because he offers laminates instead of the normal white PVC which does look nicer and probably last longer.

However, I really can't bring myself to accept such service and lack of recourse and frustration if the renovation works does not go smoothly.  And because he's a relative and is 'doing us a favor by offering such a good price', there's going to be many complications.  Moreover, we have waited for more than 2 weeks for a quote, god-knows-how-many-weeks for an adjusted quote and 3D drawings if we go ahead with him.  Plus, god-knows-how-long our renovation will drag.

It has come down to a choice between good service/attitude and laminates for the the carpentry.   And seriously, I would choose good service and someone accommodating and not gek-kao over small things for my renovation works.  I'd rather sacrifice some aesthetics and work within my budget.  At the same price, I can get carpentry works with laminates and soft closing but put up with bad service and tolerate delays, or, I can get good service and attitude without delays but accept PVC insides instead of laminates.

Overall, I'm really frustrated about how things have evolved.  It's very tiring doing research and more research to find a good ID.  I'm still waiting for a quotation from a recommended contractor and going to meet up with another one this Saturday at site.

Please, please, let me find a good and reliable one within budget soon.

I guess, I've made up my mind after the last meeting.  I can't pay for such service, I simply can't.

I'm really tired.  Too much on my plate.

And before I finalized or started on my renovations, the hotel says they'll contact us to start planning the wedding details soon!  Gosh.  I wished I had more time, wished I didn't have to work but still have money for renovation, wished I didn't need to sleep!

.::. HSBC - Stop calling me! .::.

HSBC has successfully renewed my annoyance with them.  They have been calling me so much these days - 3 calls in 2 days!  I hate it when insurance companies, or banks or anyone who calls me and try to sell me something.  I hate it when people stuff things into my face, including SMS advertisements, pop-up ads and they even use Whatsapp these days!

Coming back to HSBC, their insurance people have been calling damn often some months back.  I got countless calls from them in a few months, then it all died down.  I thought they finally realized how much such calls piss people off.  And now, it started again! Now I pick up the call and tell them that I have received x number of calls in x days, I'm not interested!

And seriously, HSBC is probably one of the last banks which I will go to after my bad experience with them.

It goes like this.  The husband and I signed up for their credit card at their road show, just because he didn't have a credit card and they just happened to be there.  There was also a $50 rebate I think, the sales person was also friendly.  It was at Clementi and we had to go upstairs to a small push-cart to fill up the forms.  Then, we were given the forms and all the documents in an envelop for us to mail it ourselves.  The sales person said he was not supposed to do it for us.

I'm not someone who remembers to send out things.  And when I finally sent out the application forms, fully expecting to receive my card in a few weeks time, it didn't go that way.  I had a call more than a week after sending the application out, and was told that the sales person filled in my name wrongly, he missed a letter.  They had to come back to me with the form, so that I can edit it and counter-sign.  It was so much trouble, and I don't understand why can't they use my NRIC name since they had a copy of that plus my CPF statements!

Then, they wanted to send a courier down next week.  But I didn't agree, since I wanted the card in a hurry.  I asked them to arrange a courier down by tomorrow - isn't that ample time?!  So then said they'll come back to me, and finally agreed to send the courier here on a Friday afternoon.  They also asked for a photocopy of my payslips.  And when Friday came, the courier service called me and asked if they could come next week instead.  I was pissed by now, I'm the customer and I specifically wanted it THIS WEEK!  Then, they said they will get back to me again.  They finally agreed to come and I passed them the documents.  Again, fully expecting to receive my card in a week or two.

But no, it didn't stop here.  They called and told me that my payslips were not acceptable because the last few letters of my company name was cut off in the photocopy.  I WAS SO PISSED.  They had my CPF statements and the name of my company corresponded with my payslip!  And they are making a big fuss because the last 2 letters of my company was cut off?!  I pointed that out, and they told me that it's their company policy - have to see full company name.  I was so annoyed that I asked to cancel my application.

I DO NOT WANT YOUR CARD AND WILL NOT EVER SIGN FOR YOUR SERVICES ANYMORE, HSBC.

They did such a great job of pissing me off, seriously.  The thing is, my company is one of those old-fashioned companies who gives out our payslips by hand.  You have to tear out the 3 sides to open it up, and the alignment inside isn't perfect.  When you tear out the side, the last few letters of the company name gets torn out too.  There's no way that I can provide a payslip with full company name!  Don't tell me to contact HR to get any official or additional documents, I'm not going to all that trouble for a damn credit card.  There are so many choices in the market, many are fuss-free.  Moreover, HSBC's perks are pretty lousy and EpiCenter's installment plan works for most local credit cards except HSBC.

I just got the UOB ONE card and Standard Chartered Manhattan card for the cash rebates.  I paid $5,000 for my banquet downpayment with the Manhattan card and earned a $200 cash rebate plus $20 cash-back for signing up.  I simply dropped into the Standard Chartered when I passed by, took 10 minutes to fill up the form and had my card in the mail in less than 2 weeks.  The UOB card was even more amazing, I downloaded the form online, filled it up and faxed it over.  The card arrived in a few days.  I also have OCBC cards, though they pissed me off and signed me up for their cashline service initially, I like it that the customer service is easily reachable and helpful.  However, OCBC only gave me 2x credit limit (of my salary) while UOB and Standard Chartered gave me 4x.

So there goes.  I have a really bad impression of HSBC and will probably never ever use their services.  I don't get why are they so rigid with credit card applications, which is supposed to be fuss-free.  The poor sales tried so hard to get customers to sign up, yet the back-end operations basically screwed everything.  Perhaps it's the procedures, but seriously, I provided CPF statements with my company name corresponding to my payslip, and I don't think I'm a particularly high-risk customer!

I can't wait for the 'Do not call' registry to start.  I'm going to be the first to sign up, and I'm not going to be nice to people who still continues to call me!

.::. Clutter .::.

It's the second day of 2012, and I woke up determined to clear clutter.  It's something which I have not been doing enough.  I was in bed and thought about those tertiary textbooks and study guides in my book shelf which I have not touched for the past 5 years.  And I wondered, why was I keeping them?!  Did I really believe that I'll read them again?  Would anyone want these outdated books?

People who have the misfortune of visiting my house would know how cluttered my house is.  Even though we've the luxury of getting a big house, it's never enough to contain all the rubbish we keep.  If you notice, you can see the disgust and incredulous look people try to conceal when they see those rubbish we keep.  Most relatives are polite enough to drop an obscure remark, but you see it in their eyes. It drives me crazy, though I try so hard not to notice.  I still see my primary school exercise book from 15 years ago in the pile on the floor.  Why?  Because it was not fully used and my mum would tear off the used pages and keep them, hoping that it will be used some day.  Time flies and after 15 years, it's still there, together with my brother's and sister's half-used exercise books accumulated through the years.

Then there's the old worksheets, old school files, old textbooks and assessment books which 'someone may use someday.'  It's the same old story every year.  My mum will 'go through them' and clean them, but they never seem to disappear, simply multiply through the years instead.  It's disgustingly dusty and a f*cking eyesore.

I think it runs in the family.  My grandma's house used to be the same and every Chinese New Year, everyone would quarrel and work through Chinese New Year's Eve to hide the clutter.  They always manage it somehow.  My aunt's place is much worst then mine, and I have no clue how do people tolerate that.  My mum got the genes, and I think it's some sort of sickness. She has been trying to clear the clutter since I left for Sweden 3 years ago, 'to prepare for my wedding' she says.  Yet 3 years later, the house is more cluttered than ever.  She complains about how people do not help, yet when I am all ready to help dump the clutter, she starts screaming and say that I'm a crazy woman.  Great.  And whenever you complain about her, she will find something to complain about you back.  Something irrelevant, like my shoes outside the house which I should throw.  The worst thing is that she goes through all your rubbish and picks them up to keep!

I guess you simply can't try to change people when they refuse to change.

My brother seem to have accepted this better than I do and stay away from the mess.  The pile contains things which my brother has threw away.  It drives me crazy looking at all that rubbish.  And when I finally have the time and energy to clear it, I get shit.  F*uk.

I told the husband about it, and he seem to know my family better than I do.  He said that things will still be the same a year later.  And since I'm moving out in a year's time, I should just leave things as they are and let them be.

Perhaps.  But that's probably the last thing I can do for this house!  I reckon that there are things which I know deep within my heart but I've no idea why do I keep trying to change things which I know could not be changed.

I will clear my clutter and throw things away this year.

Part of me is afraid that I may become like my mum.  One is really shaped by their experiences in life.  I like to keep things too, though I throw them away in batches when I couldn't take the clutter.  I keep all my letters and cards from friends.  I keep my travel souvenirs like a prize.  I keep my diary every year.  I do keep quite abit of things though I try to ensure that my room does not look like a rubbish dump.

This year's top resolution is definitely to clear clutter.

F*ck.  I'm so f*cking pissed.  So much for positivity for the new year.

.::. RAPE .::.

I pray with all my heart and soul that all men who statutory rape a young girl below 16 goes to jail.

Seriously.

If you really love someone, you need to let them learn and bear the consequences of their actions instead of helping them to cover up shit.

.::. Growing Up .::.

I went for my first house-viewing last weekend with the boyfriend. We went to visit Tampines's Centrale 8 DBSS since we were interested in the Clementi one with pretty good location near the MRT and the malls.

As much as I love small and cozy apartments, I was really rather shocked by how small apartments have become. I reckon I still live in memories of my old Bukit Purmei flat where I grew up. It was a 1300sqf flat which had plenty of room - I even cycled in it often. The living room could barely fit a 3-seater sofa, the kitchen only had enough room for an oven/microwave on the top, the bedrooms could only fit a queen size bed without any bedside table and the dining room only fit a round table with 4 chairs.

To be honest, it's comfortable enough for a couple. But I wouldn't be able to invite many people over, nor do I have space for my oven and coffee machine in the kitchen. There's also not much space for me to renovate the house the way I want it. Moreover, it's pretty costly. Although we can afford monthly payments by CPF, I've to make sure that I've a job for the next 30 years!

I love the Clementi location though, near the MRT, very near a good primary school, and near my current house. But I reckon I'll really need to think through things again. I've been reading up so much about all the HDB rules, researching on the rental yields, resale prices and upcoming launches and procedures. It's exciting yet scary at the same time.

Perhaps my dreams are coming true, all that I ever wanted since I was a young girl. What was important to me was finding a soulmate whom I can spend my life with and having my own house where I can decorate it and cook and make it our home. I'm crossing my fingers, hoping that I don't jinx things by saying these out loud. Yet on the other hand, I feel like sharing all my happiness and excitement with everyone. It simply can't be contained. Maybe, just maybe, if you want something with all your heart, it can't elude you.

It's really till times like these, planning for the future that makes me feel acutely aware of my age. Is it really time for all the responsibilities and serious stuff already?

Despite all the excitement for the future, I'm apprehensive. I love my alone-time very much. I like being alone, daydreaming, working out, go through my skincare routine and 'doing my thing' without being watched. I'm not sure how I will adapt when there's someone always around. Am I supposed to sleep when he does? Or watch TV when he feels like it? And when it's time for kids, the endless nights of bawling and constant supervision of a little baby - how am I supposed to cope with kids, work and everything? I know many women have gone through this stage and emerged stronger, but am I really ready for this? I always thought I was, yet now I'm somewhat apprehensive when it's almost time to take the plunge.

I guess I'm just being worrisome, and I know in my heart that everything will turn out fine. But it doesn't stop me from worrying either. My mind is overdriven with thoughts from everywhere. Now I know what people mean when they say their twenties flashed by before they realized.

Just tonight, I came home early and intended to workout and research more about my favourite topic - housing. Then, I came home to see my mum feeding my 15-year-old sister. God knows how the anger flashed through me. I reckon I do not need to go into details what nasty things which came out from my mouth. I seldom get angry these days, I take most things in my stride, yet at times like this, it takes extraordinary strength to keep my calm.

I still remember that my mother used to make milo for me, and put it in a milkbottle for me to drink when I was in Primary school. I wasn't a morning person even then. I happily sucked my milo in bed till it was really time to get up and change for school. I never gave a second thought about drinking from a milk bottle at aged 7, since it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Yet there was once, when my relatives came to my place, and the topic suddenly came up. My relatives were obviously appalled to learn that I was still drinking from a milk bottle while my mother happily shared that information with them, as if it was something which she had no choice about. I still remembered feeling so upset and embarrassed while they discussed about it when it was apparent that my relatives disapproved of it.

It was the first time I truly felt ashamed, and angry. Angry because I never knew that it was something embarrassing, angry because it seemed like my mother had no choice because I demanded for it. Obviously, after that episode, I refused to drink from the milk bottle anymore.

Imagine my disbelief and anguish when my mother could actually justify feeding her 15-year-old daughter because my sister is tired and she wanted her to have enough nutrients and stay healthy. And she thinks that 'everyone has different methods and views'. Great. I was angry enough to whip out my iPhone to take a picture while my mother scurried away.

In that case, one might as well clean their children's butt after they shit to ensure that it's really clean, or bathe for them because they are tired and to ensure that they are really clean - all the way till adulthood and more.

Am I really the one over-reacting? Where should parents draw the line? The worst thing is whenever I reprimand my mother over such things, she'll find other things which are totally out of topic to reprimand me about. It annoys the hell out of me.

I don't blame my sister for what they have become, attitude-problem and all for they were molded into what they are now. Despite the academic excellence, I worry if they can survive and succeed in the society when it's all about communication and people's perception of you. All I can hope is that as they grow older, they have their own sense of self-consciousness enough to judge what should and should not be done. If I couldn't get through my mother, I wished that I got through the sisters. There are times I scream at them, for their attitude and dependence, yet I really wonder how much they truly understood what I was trying to say.

Maybe they will turn out fine afterall. When my mother was telling my little sister how my neighbor's daughter is taking piano grade 4, while my sister only took grade 3. My sister retorted that it was none of her business. Another thing I detested throughout childhood is these comparisons of me with her colleagues' children or who and whom. I seriously do not thing that teaching your kids to constantly compare with others is a good thing at all. Isn't it obvious that one should never try to compare with another, for there are so many different factors and comparing never makes one happy.

God knows I really love the sisters and want the very best for them.

I reckon that there are still some baggage I need to let go off. When I got 99 marks, my father told me that I was lucky, and why didn't I get 100? When I got sick, I was blamed for it. When I read books, I was screamed at. And I know, if my relationship goes wrong, it's going to be my fault. No matter what happens, it's as if I'm never good enough. I spent so much time bawling into the pillow throughout my childhood, and I feel for my sisters when they cry because I remember how it feels

I was sharing this with the boyfriend, wondering what is going to happen to our own kids. I'm thankful that we have similar values, at least in terms of bringing up our children. While nothing is absolute, I'm really thankful to have had him over the past 7 years.

I was still telling the boyfriend that I'm going to miss home very much after I move out. I didn't miss not being home that much during my year in Sweden, perhaps knowing that I'll be back. Yet perhaps, it's time to move out and sculpt my life the way I want it.

A penny for my thoughts and I'd be a millionaire.

.::. The Cold Calls .::.

I believe that almost everyone of us has received cold calls at some point. However, the frequency has seemed to increase so much in the recent year that it annoys me so damn much. I wonder if it's because I've started using things like credit cards or insurance services, or if I've simply entered an age group which they start targeting.

I read this article with amusement, and I seriously wonder if anyone seriously find it helpful?? How can it be 'part of customer service' when so many of them are so annoying and rude?!

I easily receive 3-5 calls every week. It's like they never stop. The same company, presumably with the same contact list, could call me countless times over few months. It's downright annoying. I am so wary of any calls now, and I usually cut them off before they even start.

Annoying telemarketer: Hello, I am xxx calling from HSBC Insurance/Finexis/xxx representing Prudential/AIA/Great Eastern/Citibank/Diners/UOB/IPP Financial Advisory

Me: I am not interested, thank you.

The not-so-annoying telemarketers will simply say 'Oh...Okay.' or even laugh it off before hanging up promptly, with a thank you. The downright rude kind will hang up straight. And the annoying kind will try their luck, naively assuming that with some perseverance, they can change my mind.

Annoying telemarketer: Uh why miss? I haven't share my product with you...**continues to launch into attack mode

Me: I'm not interested.

Very annoying telemarketer: But why miss? This is a very good product, why don't you try? Are you working?

Me: I'm not interested, thank you.

Very very annoying telemarketer: But miss, you haven't try. Shall I make an appointment so that we can share it with you? It's free!

Me: I'm not interested.

Very very very annoying telemarketer: Are you working? This plan is very good for you.

Me: No, I'm not working.

Very very very very annoying telemarketer: Oh, are you a student or housewife?

Me: No.

Very very very very very annoying telemarketer: No? You are not working?

Me: No. I'm not interested.

Very very very very very very annoying telemarketer: Oh. Erm. Okay.

Some keep repeating the word 'free', and seem to be very perturbed about your refusal to accept 'free' appointments which are 'good' for you. Some which are selling credit cards resort to sending the application forms to my email with the subject 'Your APPLICATION for xxx card'. Some try desperately to convince you to make a 'free' appointment with their advisor or attend a seminar which 'many have found useful'. Again, it's 'FREE' and there's light refreshments even! There was one who kept persisting, telling me how much I'm missing out even when I outright told her I'm not going and she can continue wasting her time if she wants. She kept asking me WHY, and suggested so many dates for me to attend the FREE talk.

Apart from these sales people, there are others who try to offer you jobs and invite you to interviews. It's especially annoying when I'm trying to look for a new job and they waste my time with these 'opportunities', thinking that it may be a serious recruiter. Now, I'm totally wary when I answer such calls.

Annoying financial planner: Hello, is that Jan? May I know if you're looking for a job?

Me: Yes

Annoying financial planner: I would like to offer you a finance position with my company. Would you be interested?

Me: *totally suspicious.* What kind of position is this?

Annoying financial planner: It's a finance position. Would you like to come down for an interview so that I can share more with you?

Me: *totally sure that it must be one of those calls* May I know what is the job scope?

Annoying financial planner: Oh, you will be doing financial analysis, financial planning and business development.

Me: *feeling annoyed* Uh huh, I'm not interested in a sales job.

Annoying financial planner: Oh, it's not a sales job! You analyse your clients needs and recommend them the right product.

Me: I'm not interested. Thank you.

Some would stop here and hang up. Others?

Annoying financial planner: But why? You never tried before right? Why don't you give it a try?

Me: No, I'm not interested. I don't want a sales job.

Annoying financial planner: Why? But you graduated with a Banking and Finance degree right? Why don't you try?

Me: BECAUSE I DON'T WANT A SALES JOB!!!

Personally, I am seriously so sick of these calls which happen oh-so-damn-often. It almost sound funny when I list it down like that, but it's seriously very extremely annoying especially if you receive a few of such calls in a day!

I was complaining about this to Chye just the other day. She said she have even received SMS of such 'job offers'! This is seriously getting very ridiculous. I understand that people need to hit sales target, but using such methods would only piss your potential customers off. Now, I have totally closed myself to such calls. I tell them I'm not interested right after they identify themselves. Will I ever do any transactions through such calls? Never.

Other annoying and pushy sales people are those who seem to be stationed everywhere, selling things like credit cards to saving plans. When I used to work in Novena, there were ambushing you right after you step out of the MRT station. That area is forever infested with sales people and I had to walk past that area many times everyday - when I'm buying things from the basement stalls, withdrawing money from the ATM, using the underpass. Everytime I walk past that area, I look around for an escape route and look as hostile as possible to avoid being approached. Some would even follow you and go on-and-on when you're walking away in a hurry. Now, when I take the free shuttle bus to City Hall MRT and have to walk past the area near St Andrew's church, I have to avoid these people too.

I am going to try to register myself into the 'do-not-call' list, although I am almost sure that it's not going to help.

Another group of annoying 'sales' people is those who evangelise and try to get you to go to church or convert to Christianity. To me, they are no different from the sales people who try to push their 'product' to you, telling you how good it is and how much you are missing out. They basically ask the same questions, why don't you try to come to church? Why don't you want to go to heaven? The answer is still the same - I am not interested.

I also detest it when friends start pretending to be very interested in catching up once they get a sales job and make you feel obliged to support them. I feel like a prey being pounced on. If we've been in contact or if you bother spending some time to really catch up and let people know what you are doing now, it's not that bad. But not when you meet up because you want to show them what you are selling now, without even asking them if they are interested in it.

I reckon that such tactics would work for some people. There are bound to be some people who wouldn't mind 'trying', especially when it is 'FREE'. There are some people who may sit down and listen to these persistent sales people, even buy something from them because they were too aggressive. There may also be some who will buy products from 'friends' because they're too embarrassed to decline.

However, this is not going to work on me and will only turn me off. I believe that if I am interested in something, I will seek it out and do my own research before actually buying it. I seriously do not trust just one person's input, especially if it's a sales person selling his product. I like friends who start-up their sales career without asking or expecting anything from you, simply letting you know what line they are in now. As a friend, knowing that person is reliable, you will automatically go to them when you need a certain service e.g. insurance/real estate/credit cards - only when you NEED it. Afterall, how many friends do you have which you could exploit to make up your sales numbers? Sooner or later, you will need to venture outside your friends and create some goodwill with your own hard work.

Perhaps it's my pet peeve, perhaps there are many people who are receptive and not adverse to such tactics like me. But seriously, leave me alone already!

.::. Filling Tax? .::.


Can someone tell me when did I change my name to....'TANG GOI"??

I logged in the first time to double-check whether or not I needed to file tax (no need, since I didn't earn enough) and almost thought that the system has logged me into someone else's account. I double-checked my NRIC and realize....that's me?!

Hello! Even if I haven't started contributing to tax, at least get my name right! How to get it SO wrong? I'm going to start paying tax very soon afterall, and I'm not going to condone such inefficiencies!

.::. Humanity? .::.

My friend shared her good friend's story with me, and I'm really saddened by it. Anyone with a heart would be, especially dog lovers.

Her friend just moved into a new place, while the dog dug through a hole near the fence and got out. The family was obviously upset and went looking for it and made a report. A day later, AVA called them and informed that they found her dog.

Relieved, she went down to get the dog. There was obviously some fees and fines involved and she had to microchip the dog. Anyone with a dog could probably imagine the relief and willingness to pay, just to get the dog back home. Although the dog was really afraid and did not want anyone to touch it, they refused to allow her to see/hold her dog for the mico-chip procedure.

Moments later, they informed her that her dog is dead.

All she saw was the dog's lifeless body. "They told me that my dog had to be forcefully restrained by the neck and when they finished, he had collapsed and died."

It's appalling, the way the whole incident was handled. How could they do this to a life and shrug it off as an 'accident'? Those people restraining the dog weren't even trained, and probably used brute force. Why didn't they allow the owner to hold the dog?!

If it was a human instead, would things have been the same? To these people, it's a dog, an animal, a hindrance who caused trouble. To the owner, it's their family member.

If the same thing happened to a human, be it in a hospital or prison or anywhere, what will the consequences be? Sadly, I'm quite sure that this will be 'covered up' and written off as a 'mistake' or accident. Even though she's going to get an independent post-mortem to ascertain the cause of death, how much can be done if it's proven that the dog died from strangulation?

For one, you can never bring back a life, a family, a loved-one.

Read about it here:
http://www.straitstimes.com/STForum/Story/STIStory_654582.html

.::. Sky Park .::.

The boyfriend is back from Phuket after a 4-day company trip, and I have been looking forward to today since he asked me to dress presentably and bring my camera along.

At first, he asked me to go over to his place, but he ended up going back to NUS to see his juniors' race car and had lunch with his friends. He asked me to meet him at Somerset instead, but ended up late and did not even reply my sms nor answer his phone! Then, he said to go back to City Hall to meet his parents. Obviously, I'm not exactly pleased - I just came from City Hall!. I reckon it's my own expectations which ruined the day for me.

We ended up going to Marina Bay Sands with his family. We were supposed to visit the Sky park since his mum knows someone who could bring us up for free.

We ended up waiting for more than an hour. Then, I realized that it was one of those sale gimmicks. They make it sound like they can bring you up for free but expects you to attend their 'sharing session'. His mum actually reserved 10 tickets and asked him to reserve 4 more.

I hate such sales gimmicks and sales people. They try to package their marketing tools in such a way that they offer you something for free with 'no strings attached'. There will always be people who take the bait from things like free dinners to free whatever-you-can think-of. Sometimes, they make it sound like you're so dumb to not take it. Then, they make it sound like you're special to be offered such a privellege when all they did was to book a room or two, just to get the guest card to bring all their guests up for free. Those who got these 'free' tickets and are able to bring their friends along to enjoy it and obviously feel good about themselves and would willingly listen to their talks. They seriously go up and down the lifts, bringing so many guests up from different lifts and entry points so as to reduce any suspicion. And they actually claim that this is for 'security reasons', that's why they can't bring too many people at one entry point at any one time!?

I hate these people as much as those who preach to me and invite me to church as if they're trying to save my soul!

It might be the way my dad brought me up. I'll never believe that there are things such as 'free lunches'. When can people ever learn? And to me, if something is that good, you wouldn't need to promote it in this way. Your product will gain popularity from 'word-of-mouth' and forums in which people share their experiences with no hidden agenda.

Perhaps it's just me. There must be many people who does not mind taking such free stuff and going for such 'sharing sessions' in exchange for it. Afterall, our 'free' visit to the skypark this evening has 'saved' us $20x14=$280.

But having to wait there for more than an hour and listening to those crap? Personally, thanks but no thanks! I don't even want to be part of such (in my opinion) underhand tactics. I totally feel cheated and helpless, and still having to pretend like we really appreciated the 'free' visit provided.

So here goes - pictures from the 'free' visit of skypark at MBS. Perhaps MBS should review their guests policy to close such glaring loopholes which these sales people take advantage of.



The weather was horrible, drizzling and grey. But the infinity pool was really pretty. I want to swim there someday!

Maybe it's me, but I can't help being pissed at such stuff. And maybe that's why, I really refuse to do any sales-related jobs despite the seemingly uncapped income. I simply can't put myself down there, for fear of being like one of them someday.

It hasn't been such a great weekend.

Why do I feel like 2011 is not going to be a great year for me? I feel so unsettled.

.::. X'mas .::.

X'mas is usually spent with his family. I mostly enjoy the X'mas meanls and present exchanges. It's also his nephew, Glenn's birthday.

This year's X'mas, it's somewhat different. It's the first time both sides of his family came together on X'mas day. And his mother invited her church friends to come over for X'mas carolling.

It's my first experience and I didn't look forward to it at all. I know I hated people preaching to me. He simply told me that many people are coming to 'sing songs'. A bus load and 2 more car loads of them came. Everyone had to 'join in' and sit together. It wasn't only singing, the stories came after the singing and prayers. The kids had to be separated from the adults, both listening to different stories.

I hated it. As much as I tried to ignore the stories, what I heard pissed me off real bad. For some reason, my blood boils everytime people try to preach to me. The classic line today?

"Chinese believe in 'god' with a small 'g' which they created themselves. But it's not the real 'God' with the big 'G'"

He even gave an analogy. It's like people being locked up in jail. Those who accept god's sacrifice for them will gain salvation and freedom while those who refuse to accept god's gift to them choose to continue to spend their lives in jail. And he said that all human beings were borned in sin for like 20 times.

There were many more ridiculous stuff which I found plain bias and resented having to sit through it all. To me, religion is created by man. It's something which people like to believe in to give them faith and strength.

Personally, only Christians have been preaching to me relentlessly. No other religions have ever even tried preaching to me. It turns me off just like a persistent sales person.

I hate it that they imply that you're stupid just because you did not believe in 'God'. It's like you'll find life less fulfilling or find less happiness just because you weren't a Christian and praised 'God'.

It doesn't matter even if you told these people that you were a buddhist or free-thinker. They would still try to 'sell' you your religion, and they don't find it rude to imply things like 'your' god is created by man while 'my' god is the one true God. I don't mind joining services now and then, when I feel like it. But it's one thing praising your god and another denouncing other peoples' gods. What I even hated more was that I had no choice - I could not choose not to sit through today's session or leave.

Today, I decided that I can't have a church wedding. I'll be a damn pissed off bride. I really don't foresee a day which I could stomach all these down.

Having said that, I know that not all Christians are like that. I've relatives and friends who are pretty religious, but they leave me alone. But one can't deny that Christians are the most active in 'recruiting' people. Even walking on the streets in Lourdes, people were trying to preach to us.

One thing I always wondered - By believing that your god is the one and only true god, doesn't that mean that other gods which others believe in is not the 'real' god? Yet there are so many religions around and they only believe that their god is the only real one.

I reckon it's difficult to get people to understand that different people have different opinions and believe in different things.

It's just like there are people who believe that couples who do not have kids are always less happy and it's because they are unable to have kids. Or those people who believe that it's a must and normal thing to get married and have kids to find happiness in life.

Is it really so difficult to understand and accept that different people are simply...different?

.::. Annoyed .::.

I told my mum that I was on MC today because my neck hurts and the doctor said that my thyroid glands are inflammed. Her first reaction? 'Who ask you to go and bleach your teeth?! It's very harmful.' I haven't even have the chance to tell her that doctor thinks it's due to my previous stomach flu and viral infection.

My family has got to be the most judgmental people in my life.

What's wrong with wanting white teeth? Is it so difficult to understand that people have different wants in their life? They'll never understand because they choose not to yet believe that they do.

I'll always be judged using their narrow yardstick.

I'd better not tell them anything to protect myself from all these negative energy.

.::. Annoyed .::.

Top questions which leaves me really annoyed:

(1) Why don't you go and lose weight/slim down?

This gets me really pissed off - what has it got to do with you? It's simply plain rude to ask people questions in the face like this! I'm not obese and I am healthy. My weekly kickboxing/hot yoga gives me flexibility and muscles and I simply feel comfortable and healthy, so stop commenting about my size or weight. If I didn't have an office job which puts me on my butt 8 hours a day and drains all my energy, I would have spent more time exercising. Who didn't wish that they had bodies just like supermodels? Would you prefer if I starved myself to look slim for you? Even my dad thinks I should lose weight - great.

(2) How much do you earn?

Why do people want to know this? Apart from my immediate family members and a selected few, I simply do not feel like telling everyone how much I earn. I get more annoyed when I evade their questions by saying things like 'market rate' and asking them 'why?' but they still don't get it and continue trying to ask the same question. Do you want to get a loan from me? Or do you want more juicy bits of gossip?

(3) When are you getting married?

It's 'THE' question at the moment - everyone wants to know when am I getting married and start giving all sort of advice and advantages of getting married and having kids early. Some even go on to say that it's 'unhealthy' to date for too long and I'm at a disadvantage. Who doesn't want to get married to someone they love and enjoy spending time together with? But nothing is that simple. If we could afford to get a place to stay NOW, I would get married NOW - I can give up all the other superficialities. Would you give me an apartment? But sadly, saving up to get a place to stay would take us at least another 5 years and I'll probably be an old and fat bride then. But that is my choice - I'd rather wait and work towards the kind of life I would like for the rest of my life than go along with what everyone wants for me and be miserable and trapped forever - if only people understood that, it's the rest of my life which I have to live.

(4) When are you finishing your ACCA?

It's a big deal for my family. Everyone wants to know, when will I be completing the 'prestigious' ACCA and that's probably the only reason why I am holding on and trying so hard. I won't pretend I enjoy it, I question why do I continue though I'm so sure I do not want to be an accountant. I'm halfway there but there's still a long way to go, yet people keep asking, or simply ask me to 'take more papers' so I can finish it sooner - yea right. Studying after work and trying to study during weekends is stretching me to my limits - I feel drained, stressed and tired. I'd really thank my lucky stars if I pass this damn paper. Worldwide passing rate for this paper - 24%. Singapore passing rate for this paper - 30%. My chance of passing? Probably 15%? I'd D.I.E. if I fail this again.

I simply feel stressed out, like I'm being pushed into a corner at all fronts.

Some people think that they are 'showing their concern' when they make negative comments about you - they're simply trying to 'remind' you. I was brought up in such a negative environment, yet it doesn't make these easier to cope. Some days, you're in a good mood, but suddenly, you get fired with comments like 'what happened? why is you skin so awful?', 'your thighs look so fat in this' - and then, I'm accused of being too sensitive when I get upset. *sigh!

I try very hard to be positive despite being surrounded by all these negativity. I'm a worrier, and I know I do not always say the nicest things. But I'd rather be honest with the people who really know me than put up a pretence. At least I try not to say any negative comments right into people's face. If I had nothing nice to stay, I'd rather keep quiet instead of telling them how fat they've become or how awful they look now.

Life is difficult enough in Singapore, with all the stress and overcrowding, why add more negativity to others' life?

I wished I did not complain so much nor feel lousy so often. But as much as I try, I feel swamped and happy moments are fleeting and does not stay long enough before practicalities weigh me down again. I miss the carefree and happy me.

I know happiness is a choice and needs constant effort, but I feel like I'm struggling to win and I'm tired fighting this battle. All I can do is, continue fighting and trying. If all else fails, my escape strategy is to take all my savings and roam the world when I turn 30!

Why does everything seem so difficult?