.::. Cra-cray Days .::.

Some days, my schedule goes like this:

0700 Get out of bed
0830 - 1730 Work
1800 - 1845 Piano Lesson
1915 - 2000 Violin Lesson
2030 - 2300 Conference Calls
0000 Bedtime!

Thursdays are always crazy, but Thursday is almost Friday so it's okay (it rhythms!).

Today was exceptionally crazy, because it's quarter-end closing week and yesterday was a public holiday.  Losing one day on quarter-close week is bad timing.  I hope I don't have to work till midnight like the last quarter!  It's going to be a long day tomorrow.  I'm in between calls now, and tired.

Weekdays are mostly crazy, and fulfilling.  I teach tuition on 2 other days and often have conference calls at night.  I always have Friday nights free, and usually another weekday night free.  Some days I rush back to cook and food-prep the day before, other days I use the slow cooker to cook soup.

Life's cra-cray, but good.  Weekends are always gym and mini-holidays around our little island.  It gives me immense pleasure when my tuitee who got 17 marks last year and failed all his tests improve to a good 57 marks the last exams.  My tuitee adores me and sometimes I threaten to 'quit' if he doesn't work hard.  It makes me feel great that I'm making a difference to someone's life.  Work pays the bills and helps me to be financially free, but it really helps when the company has values that align with your own and we get to give back to the community often.  Violin and piano is challenging, I wished I had more time, but the progress I make gives me a huge sense of achievement.  I'm nearer to my goals everyday and most importantly, I'm happy.

Happy with everything.

Time for next call!

.::. Simply Better .::.

These 2 years have been very fulfilling and packed, and something that resonates deeply with me recently is this saying : 

‘It doesn’t get easier, you just get better.’

Remember the times when you have to do something new and how difficult or even impossible it seems? I have been there many times these two years. 

Most recently, it was at my new job where the learning curve have been extremely steep. During my second month was the quarter-close and budgeting deadlines when everyday was a race against time. For the first time in my working life, I wished that the weekend wouldn’t come, just so I can have more time before my Friday deadlines. One Friday, I left office near midnight, it was also a first in my working life. But the thing is, I knew that I was just slow and figuring things out, and it would become a lot easier the next time. After 2 months at my new job, many things have become easier although I’m still learning.

I also started driving to work last year when I was still working in Tuas South. I was always nervous about driving, simply because I barely drove since I got my license donkey years ago. I drove a few times and during our USA trip, but my parents never liked me to drive. They were always worried that I couldn’t get out of my own gate and my dad told me that it’s cheaper to take a taxi in case ‘something’ happened. So when we got our own car, the husband made me drive while he sat beside me. We all know how things go when men sits in a car with a female driver. He’s the strictest teacher, constantly reminding me and screaming at me when he thinks that I did not check my blind spots (even if I did!). He also made me parallel park. A few weeks with him later, I drove myself to work a rainy day when I overslept and had to cab to work, yet refuse to pay half a tank of petrol when my car is sitting downstairs. He was supposed to drive with me together to work the next day, since he was on leave and wanted to be with me on my first drive to work. I asked him for permission to drive to work, he said up to me, but later told me to drive carefully and keep a safe distance as it’s raining. Since then, I drove myself to work and picked him up from work.  I constantly ‘hear’ his reminders even when I was driving alone. I still get nervous about driving to a new place now and then, especially during peak hours or when it was raining. I still remember how stressed I was driving up my violin teacher’s condominium carpark – it was those old condominiums with narrow ramps and waist-height walls. I had to go up 6 ramps before I reached the visitor lots and I counted every single one, heaving a sigh of relief after I made it safely every. A few months on, it came so naturally to me that I actually went higher than I needed to. Nowadays, I actually enjoy driving most of the time and I’m no longer scared or nervous about tight spaces nor parallel parking. Weekends are my favorite me-time when I get to drive to the gym and do some shopping. Amazing what a few months can do, isn’t it?

Having played the violin and piano for more than a year, I’m constantly amazed by my own progress.  Whenever I am frustrated when it comes to a new piece, my violin teacher never fails to remind me how I used to struggle with ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars’ just a year ago. 15 months after I first picked up the violin, I passed my Grade 3 ABRSM exams. I don’t think I imagined this much of progress in one year, yet one could actually do so much in a year. I struggle with piano more than violin though, because coordinating 2 hands and 2 melodies and reading from different clefs is really a challenge. I take months to play a song well, yet what used to be difficult could become easy after some time. I’m finally playing Yiruma’s River Flows in You now!

With all these lessons over these 2 years, I am no longer daunted by new challenges! As long as you keep working on it, everything would become easier after some time - only that it did not get easier but you simply got better!

.::. 2016 Resolutions .::.

This was in draft for months, and before I got it published, it's already March!?

2015 Resolutions (and some of 2016):

1. Be more disciplined with exercise and diet to reduce fat % and become leaner/stronger.

While I have gotten stronger and have been keeping an active lifestyle, I don't think I got leaner nor reduced my fat %! This is a constant struggle especially after I started driving to work and consequentially walked less. We did spend more days strolling at Botanical Gardens and brought Chikey to Sentosa to swim and stroll at Sentosa Coast after we got our car though.This shall be a constant work-in-progress every year!

2.Reading more news and books to enrich myself and to meet my financial goals this year.

We have been pretty disciplined and have not spent much on big-ticket items this year. Even holidays were pretty muted to Indonesia and Boracay, Phillipines this year. I also took up additional tuition assignment out of interest and for more supplementary income to cover our addional petrol expense or my music lessons. To some extend, this also helps to mitigate earned salary-risk, given that my income and job was not exactly stable with a 25% workforce reduction in 2015. Financial goals were on target or slightly ahead. We need to persevere 10 more years before she finish our mortgage and become financially free. Hoping to be more disciplined with savings to be ready to take advantage of any market downturn.

3. Learn a new instrument – violin and piano

After starting violin lessons in January and piano lessons in March, I took my ABRSM Grade 3 in February 2016. It took considerable hard work and some stress towards the end, but I'm so glad of the progress I've made. People think I'm crazy, I think I'm crazy too, but it has brought me immense pleasure in playing and making all these progress. There’s still a long way to go, but I hope to continue on this journey in the many years to come!

4. Reduce clutter and organize the home.

We did quite a thorough spring cleaning before Chinese New Year! The house is the cleanest since we moved in, but I still need to continue de-cluttering and organizing my (many) stuff.

5. Experiment with new recipes and cook/bake more often.

Highlights of the year was Prawn Noodle Soup, Chicken Rice and steamed fish! I also cooked for my family's reunion dinner in 2016! I haven't baked much though, it's too fattening and the husband doesn't like sweets.

6. Finish ACCA

Like finally! *wee. No more guilt for not spending my weekends studying and no more night classes! You know what's worst than studying or working? Studying AND working. I can't believe how I used to rush to classes after work and got home past 11pm, only to get up at 5am for work, and still have to find time to study among everything.

2015 was a year with many milestones, but has not been very lucky for me. For one, I lost my wallet the first time in my life, together with all my cards. The wallet was 5 year-old but in very good condition, purchased in New York during one of our trips. I also dropped my phone and cracked the whole screen epicly. Work has not been the smoothest too given the downturn in O&G and dreary environment. There were also many hospital admittance for the family. But as a whole, it wasn’t too bad a year as we still chugged along happily and I achieved most of what I set out to do in 2015.

2016 is supposedly a good year for both of us, and I indeed had a pretty good start.

In 2016, I hope to continue the momentum and make more progress on these core goals.

1.       Stay active and healthy – now that we’ve a car, we do walk less but we can do more. I hope to have more active weekends since the husband does not like to exercie. Shall plan more walks to botanic gardens and MacRitchie, and to bring Chikey out more often to the beach. I also hope to continue my weekly gym sessions and I’ve been planning to start Kayla’s BBG program again. I also cook less often now that we can quickly and easily drive out to eat. I also pick the husband up often, and drop by somewhere for dinner before coming home. So hopefully, I can continue cooking few times a week for more nutritious and healthy meals.

2.       Save and Invest – We are pretty much on-track for our 10-year plan, but it might be more challenging with a car. Given our current lifestyle we should be alright, especially since we’ve cut down on traveling.

3.       Do more – Although the husband and I donate monthly, and I take part in charity programs now and then, I hope to do more for the less priveledged. I have been urging the husband to join me to do some volunteer work but he hasn’t been too keen about it. He thinks that I should take the time to do more for our place (like more housekeeping and packing my stuff) instead of spending the time to do others’ place. =_=” Perhaps we can work out a few one-time off events to volunteer at. Children and animals always have a special place in my heart.

4.       Practice more -  After my Grade 3 exams for both violin and piano early this year, I hope to play more of what I enjoy instead of preparing for exams! Looking forward to work on my dream pieces and perhaps save for a violin upgrade.

5.       Love more – life is too short to be too busy for your loved ones. Broadly, this includes more cooking, more housekeeping, more quality time together with all my loved ones.

I can’t believe that I will be turning 30 very soon I have turned 30. I don’t feel like 30, although I do feel that at this age, I am in better control of my life in all the different aspects. It might be a scary thing to age for some, but I realized that time gives you a perspective that nothing else could.

Time. Time is a very scary thing that is slipping away every second and can never be recovered. I was looking through my old stuff like photos from secondary school and my studying materials in school and from my time in Sweden. I threw most of them away, but I feel this sense of loss and emptiness, like I can't bear to let go of those wonderful times. It's another topic all by itself, but well, time pass us by way too quickly.

The husband is away yet again on a work trip. It's during these times when I'm home-alone and free that I spend more time reflecting. I know right, how did he become such an integral part of me that I feel a sense of emptiness and a dull ache of loss without him?

To another wonderful year ahead! =)

.::. Taking Stock .::.

As we are concluding Q3 and going into Q4, I’m glad that 2015 has been another great year, though not exactly lucky for me. I got into an accident, hurt my feet and lost my wallet the first time in my life.

Most of the goals that I’ve set for this year has been checked off the list though.

I have finished my ACCA exams, and is now officially a CPA Affiliate! Not that I’m going to find another job to be an accountant; nor does this change much of anything. I’m glad that I’m done with studying. Studying while working is really tough, especially if you would actually want to have a life. So glad I'm done with this one. =)

An unexpected event threw us off our plans though – we got a car. Yes, I know, absolutely foolish financially when we do not need a car and have free transport to work. It’s an additional expense of almost $2k if not for some help from this parents. It's still a substantial sum of money that could be invested for early retirement and holidays. Although I’m now excited about having our first ride, I can’t say that this has not weighed us down financially and perhaps mentally. I dislike liabilities and hate having to worry about money. After all the sums, we can probably afford it, but things will be different if kids come into the equation and we can no longer enjoy those amazing holidays. If not for the over-trade rebate from the MIL’s old car, and relatively cheaper COE now, we probably wouldn’t have done it. Having said that, since it’s a done deal, we must make sure that we get most out of the car. I’m already planning weekends out with Chikey, and the many places that I always wanted to go but couldn’t without a car. This almost translates to pay more to spend more. =_=”

And with 9 months on my violin, 6 months of piano classes, I’m preparing for Grade 3 ABRSM exams early next year! It brings me so much joy to be able to do what I love and make so much progress over the months. It’s hard work, but it’s a process that I actually enjoy, more than studying for ACCA!

Fitness wise, I’ve been pretty consistent this year till recently. I love BodyPump and BodyCombat, and all the muscles that I'm building. It feels great being stronger and having the energy to do all I do, though my mum constantly reminds me that I'm too 'fat'. It's annoying, but it's also amazing how because of her, I have learnt to not let peoples' opinion of me bother me too much over the years. Life is too short to bother about what people think. 

And here is a picture of us, scaling 2 volcanoes in Indonesia after our exams. It was another great adventure. We climbed Ijen in the dark, leaving the hotel at midnight and reached the top before daybreak. I hope that we stay fit enough to do this again! And I hope that I get to sit down and write about this trip, and our 10th anniversary trip to Maldives last December. And there was Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh.

The haze is making me so allergic and I’m relying on my inhaler at times. Apart from necessary, I’m hiding at home as much as possible. I have been coughing since weeks ago too. I hope this haze goes away soon! Shooo~

.::.Life's too short.::.

As I jot down my goals and things that I would like to do or places that I would like to visit, it hit me really hard that life is too short.

My twenties simply flew by in a blink of an eye. Poof and I'm almost stepping into my Big 3. How am I going to get so many things done?

There's no better time than now to start doing what you truly desire - a mental note to always follow my heart and not wait for the 'right' time.

.::. Reconnecting with Music .::.

For a very long time, for some strange reason, music disappeared from my life. I loved music as a child. My dad used to like classical orchestra music and some Chinese pop songs. He always played it loudly on his huge speakers. I also sang karaoke with my aunts and uncles with the huge black disks. I went for those Yamaha music classes at Clementi. I always remembered the tutu-kueh that my dad bought for me after every lesson. But soon, I got bored as the Yamaha group classes spent most of the time singing and clapping and playing using only one hand for the year or two that I had classes there. I stopped lessons after some time, but have learnt how to read notes and play some simple songs. By the time I was in primary school, I wanted to learn the piano, but my parents didn’t allow me to learn. They told me to focus on streaming in Primary 4 before thinking about the learning piano. I naively thought that I could start learning the piano if I did well. When I was finally done and got into ‘EM1’, I asked to learn the piano again. They again refused and asked me to focus on the demanding curriculum in ‘EM1’, and make sure that I do well for PSLE. By then, I was playing the keyboard in our school ensemble and they thought that it was enough. I never asked to learn piano again after that but self-learnt some pieces I liked on the organ that I had at home.

By the time I was in Secondary school, I spent most of my money buying mando-pop and Jpop CDs. My dad used to scold me endlessly about my ‘spendthrift’ habits, money that I saved from that little pocket money I had and money that I’ve saved from working after school when I turned 15. We had a karaoke system at home and some cheap VCDs that my dad got from China. I spent lots of time singing and playing some songs on the piano that my parents got for my sisters. I even wrote some songs with basic cords and sent them out to record companies during those crazy days. By the time I was done with JC, music started draining out of my life. I stopped playing the piano ever since my sisters got better than me. I stopped listening to music because I preferred silence and had simply had no time. I started dating the husband and spilt my time teaching tuition and working part-time outside school. I finally saved enough for my first trip on the plane when I turned 21 with the husband. I’ve no idea when or how, but music just crept out silently and made way for everything else.

I loved the quiet and stillness during the year when I was in Sweden. It was calm and tranquil and I loved seeing the scenery go by when I was traveling on trains or buss around Europe. I loved wandering on the cobbler stones roads and watching the world go by. During those days, the basking violinists on the streets left a deep impression on me. Sometimes it was freezing cold, and sometimes it was sunny and warm, but the violinists on the streets always sounded so beautiful. For the first time ever in my life, I wished that I could play the violin as beautifully.

By the time I’m back, it was all forgotten and tucked behind my mind. I got busy with life again, and then the house and wedding came. It took some time before we’re finally settled down and comfortable before I entertained thoughts of learning the violin again as I’m finishing my ACCA exams. I don’t think the husband truly understands this side of me that he has never seen before in the past 10 years. He might have heard me sing, but never have he heard me play. I don’t think he even believed that I could play any instrument. Even for my closest friends, they probably haven’t heard me play either. Probably only nana who played alongside me on the keyboard in the primary school ensemble remembers me playing.




My beautiful piano was delivered few months ago, and I have been taking piano classes for the past month. I can’t believe it’s happening, that I could be crazy enough to empty my bank account for a long-lost dream at this point of time. I now have a 4-year-old a Yamaha U1 Silent piano that I got second-hand from a parent whose child does not want to learn the piano anymore. Parents buy such expensive toys for their children nowadays! I'm now playing Grade 2 songs on the piano, and it was a struggle trying to relearn what I used to know.

So here I am, half year into learning the violin and playing Grade 3 songs. Although my teacher tells me repeatedly that I’m doing very well and learning very quickly, I always feel that I’m not doing well enough nor fast enough. Maybe it’s me trying to make up for so many lost years, but it suddenly hit me that I’ve lived with a void for so many years. I have forgotten how music fills me with so much happiness and brings upon a firework of emotions in me. I have forgotten how much I enjoy playing music and it really makes me wonder why did I ever stop.

As an adult learner, it’s really an uphill climb that takes some determination and commitment. Although it really helps that I can already read music and have a good feel musically, violin itself is a difficult instrument to learn. It’s getting more difficult as I’m finished Book 2, but my bowing has improved exponentially. I don’t dare to imagine a day that I can play without tapes and can sound really smooth, but I’m just working on sounding better than I did yesterday. I practice almost everyday now and sometimes even I amaze myself at the progress I’m making. I was learning Minute 3 aka Lovers’ Concerto and it was my first time trying to play slurs. It was so awkward and I sounded really horrible, yet after like 3 hours of practice, I started getting used to the bowing and it actually started to sound like a song. Slurs now feel natural! Learning the violin trains my patience and taught me that everything takes time. To get from here to there, it simply takes time and effort. I know that no matter how difficult things may seem initially, it will get easier and I just need to keep going at it. Things simply do not happen overnight, the whole process takes time. It finally hit home that everyone has 24 hours a day and it’s a consistent and persistent choice daily that one has to make to get to where they want to be.

I have no idea what hit me, but after learning the violin, something reignited in me and I feel more alive than ever upon reconnecting with music. I suddenly seek the piece of me that I forgot existed. I suddenly have this urge to play the piano again and to be better than I used to be. Sadly, when I touched the piano again, I can’t remember how to play the songs that I used to know by memory. Playing music sometimes enable you to lose yourself in the melody and to go into another world that is far from harsh reality. I wished that the husband could join me in my musical world and feel what I feel, and I wish that my children can know music and have a place to escape to when reality gets too harsh. I’m thankful that the husband has been supportive all these years – 谢谢你重荣我的随心所欲。He even bought me a music stand and violin stand when I mentioned in passing that I needed to get them. And when I was insistent about getting a piano, so I can learn and have my children grow up in a musical environment, he grudgingly agreed after some resistance with space and noise concerns.

It's amazing how much progress I have made this year, and my teachers are sending me for Grade 3/4 exams next year. I'm really enjoying the process and have hopes that I could finish Grade 8 just so that I can make it my retirement job in future. How amazing it would be to fill my days teaching children music, bringing them into a whole new world. =)

.::. Productive Years .::.

I was reading this article on Bloomberg sometime back. It says that the first 10 years of one’s career would determine the amount of wealth one can make. It makes sense doesn’t it? If you start with a low salary, increment will be slow and people always benchmark your pay based on your last drawn pay. Some may get promoted quickly with some luck, but the odds are against the majority of us. Basically, what it says is that after 35, chances of your pay increasing significantly is very low. This corresponds with the well-known fact that it becomes a lot harder to find another job after you hit 40s. Of course there are always exceptions and outliners, but this probably holds true for majority of us normal people. 

This has triggered a string of thoughts, with the backdrop of across-the-industry job cuts in O&G where I’m currently in. The struggle is real. It can be very unsettling and uncomfortable seeing people you see everyday disappear just like that. We get immediate dismissal here. Get called into a meeting, and someone will inform you that you’re dismissed with immediate effect and you are not even allowed to go back to your desk to pack your stuff or bid your team goodbye. HR and your manager will pack your things for you and escort you out. That’s it, the people you see everyday will just become a memory. People disappear, leave without saying goodbye and come to work not knowing if today will be their last day at work. It doesn't help that they don't do it all at once, and news simply keep coming from everywhere, all the time.

It makes me very sad, though life goes on and people move on. Afterall, a job isn’t everything and losing a job isn’t the end of the world, for most of us anyway. Looking at these unfolding makes me even more wary and determined to work towards financial freedom. Despite being able to survive for easily a year without a job, I really don’t appreciate any setbacks to my retirement plans. I’m most afraid of increasing monthly fixed expenses. As it is now, daily household expenses and insurance comes up to quite a tidy sum of fixed expenses. I can’t imagine how things will become with kids and I can’t understand how people cope with a home with car and maid plus kids. If fixed expenses come up to a few grand a month, how does one save and how long can they survive if they lose their jobs?

It’s so easy to project an increase in salary over the years and correspondingly upgrade your lifestyle. What people don’t seem to take into account into the whole equation is the increasing risk of losing a job as one ages. One may earn more when they are 40s and in a managerial role, but also has a higher risk of losing the job when there’s a downturn and find it harder to find a similar-paid job. Even for civil servants with relatively secured jobs or professionals with specialized skill, one mistake or accident and they may lose their jobs.

Some people tell me not to plan or worry, live a day as it comes. Really? I can’t. I need to work towards my goals to feel secure and fulfilled. I know what it feels like to not have enough money and worry about the next paycheck. It’s not something that I would like to go through again this lifetime. I want to know that I can have the option of not spending my time working for money when I am in my 40s and can instead choose to do something I love with my time, regardless of how much I make. I can imagine spending my time teaching and volunteering, spending time with children and animals, playing music and doing yoga.

I can’t imagine how people could say that they want to continue working for corporations and do not want to retire. It may be great if one really love the job so much, but what I see alot is fear, that they do not know what to do with their free time and themselves. They’ve become so used to the routine of work-life and letting work dictate most of what they do with their time (and life) till they have forgotten how it feels like to spend time doing what they really want or like. Maybe they have forgotten what they wanted and it’s easier to continue a routine without having to give much thought to it.

I always talk about retiring, and people are always shell-shocked and ask what am I going to do? Oh my, there are so many possibilities! These are the same people who tell me that they have ‘no time’ to learn a new instrument that they have always wanted, no time to cook for their families because they have ‘no time’.

For now, I can continue dreaming and work towards the day when I can finally be free to do whatever my heart desires.

.::. 2015 Resolutions .::.

1. Be more disciplined with exercise and diet to reduce fat % and become leaner/stronger.

I think I have finally got back on track with my fitness level, becoming more disciplined with my weekly exercise. I feel a lot stronger and toned. Next year’s aim is to reduce fat % and to get leaner/stronger with more consistent exercise and conscious diet choices.

2.Reading more news and books to enrich myself and to meet my financial goals this year.

All goals set this year have been met. We’re in fact ahead of the goals, but it’s an uphill climb that requires patience and endurance. Next year’s aim is to read more and to cultivate more financial sense, expanding the portfolio for more passive income.

3. Learn a new instrument – violin!

I finally took the plunge to get a violin although I’m not confident at all about mastering it. Then again, I’ve a whole lifetime ahead of me! Let’s just hope that I can get the basics and play a few songs next year.

4. Reduce clutter and organize the home.

This requires a lot of work, and yes, I do have many things! Hopefully with exams and less going on next year, I can put more energy to organizing the home.

5. Experiment with new recipes and cook/bake more often.

Although I’ve been cooking very often, I seldom cook the more complicated stuff and seldom bake. Hoping to experiment more and to start baking again.

Of all these, this year’s focus shall be on health. Or perhaps, health should be our focus all the time. It's easy to say that we 'do not have time' for exercise or healthy diet choices in our hectic lifestyles, but it's only when you lose your health that you realize that without health, there's nothing you can achieve or do! For people with desk-bound jobs like me, it's important to get some exercise and incorporate physical activities in our lives. Maybe it's the aging, but I'm becoming so much more health conscious as I feel my physical energy levels dropping. Time to get back into shape!

To another great year ahead~

.::. 2014 Report Card .::.

So 2014 is coming to an end, and it's time to look back and see if I've achieved what I have set out to do this year. 2014 has been a very rewarding and fulfilling year on so many fronts. It's a whole year of bliss and calm with really nothing much to complain about.

2014 Resolutions:

1. To stay healthy and fit.

I think I have become alot more health conscious and disciplined with my diet and exercise this year! I have been packing my food to work daily and exercising at least once a week religiously. I've gained quite abit of muscles and tone this year, although I would like to be leaner and lose more fats in the year ahead.

2. Creating passive income

This has good progress this year and I've done up a personal financial plan to be financially free by 40 - 45. This year's passive income is a modest $2k or so, but the first milestone is to grow the portfolio to a six-figure one by the time I'm 30. This year has given great buying opportunities with selective depression in the markets, and we are on track.

3. Finish ACCA already!

I have taken my last paper in December, and results will be out in 2 months' time. Hopefully, I'm done, or I'll have to retake in June 2015.

We also celebrated our 10th anniversary in December - a wonderful decade together with the husband. All's good, and I'm really thankful for all the great things that's happening around me and within me. I think we have grown stronger and closer as a couple the past year and on the personal front, I'm more connected to myself and have never been clearer of what I want for myself in the next few years. The family is also well, and the girls has also been great pillars of support with amazing energy and warmth.

Thank you for the great 2014. Thank you. 

.::. Home Alone .::.

This week, the husband is traveling. Again. He has been traveling pretty often, but this time feels abit more unbearable. I usually love having the time to myself and pack my week with activities like meeting up with my friends or going to the gym, or getting my hair done or simply go window shopping and have dinner by myself. But this week, I'm preparing for my exams and days feel so long when they are sleep-work-study on repeat mode. Doesn't help that work has been busy, I have been stressed-up, exams are next week and it's almost that time of the month soon.

This is one of the rare cold weeks that I feel somewhat lonely and long for a warm body to hug in bed. No, Chikey who has been snuggling up to me these days don't count!

Can't wait for exams to end (hopefully forever!) and the husband to be back soon! #fighting

.::. Belief .::.

"She believed she could, so she did."

.::. Jan's Ark .::.

I suppose many have heard of the story ‘Noah’s Ark’ – it’s probably my favorite biblical story and the very few that I actually connect with.  In short, it’s a story about how Noah built an ark to save his family and animals from a big flood that he believed would come. It has been used in a few movies, and what I really liked about it was how Noah put in all his heart to prepare for a potential challenge. He simply strengthened his ship and kept working on it, just so he can be prepared and ready when the storm comes.

I find inspiration and connect with his determination to be prepared for future challenges. It’s the human factor that inspires me more than the ‘God’ part of the story. I believe that if we are constantly strengthening ourselves and preparing ourselves for future challenges, we will be able to manage any difficulties that come our way. A solid ground work will always be a good base to fall back on when things get tough. Sometimes this simply mean a conscious effort to be positive, to have visions and plans, or to work on mental and physical strength.

Approaching the 10^th year of my relationship with the husband, I have the same thoughts about our relationship. It’s like throughout the 10 years, we have been building our ark, strengthening it bit by bit. With every storm we weather, we may lose some parts of our ark and emerge embattled – but we always continue working on it, repairing it and fortifying it. The first few years might have been challenging when we only had a little sampan that broke all the time while we hung on to it to keep afloat. Thankfully, after many years of hard work, we now have a strong and fortified ark that hopefully could bring us through all the challenges and storms in life. All’s calm now, but it sure feels like there might be storms ahead and every little thing we could do to strengthen our ark now would bring us a long way.

Jan’s ark is ready and strengthening! Bring it on! =)

.::. When September Ends .::.

These 2 months have been really crazy. Where did all the time go?

I have been in a contented state of mind this whole year, very thankful that everything is on track. Most of my goals for the year have been achieved. Some goals that I have set for myself when I just graduated has been achieved 2 years ahead of schedule. In no time, we will be stepping into the last quarter of the year.

The husband still remains the core of my life. I guess people really mean it when they say 'your other half', because he has already become literally the other half of me. I feel very thankful for love, for sharing others' love and being part of people's journey. So much love going around these days!

This last quarter I'm looking forward to our travel plans and celebrating our 10th Anniversary. *gasp* Yes, it's been 10 years since we started dating. It hasn't always been a smooth journey and looking back, we have been through so much together that I'm thankful for the state of contentment and stability now.

There's lots to be done these few weeks and October will be packed.  So many photos to share, but let's leave it till next time.

I'm ending September with deprivation of sleep and overflowing love for my loved ones. Totally looking forward to the last quarter! Bring it on!  =)

.::. Retirement Planning – Start Now! .::.

I suppose many of us would have our own vision of retirement, and it’s eventually something which we would like to be able to do someday. It does seem to be increasingly difficult in Singapore as the years go by with the relentless increase in prices. People always find it incredulous when I say I’d like to retire soon – but that soon is probably a good 10 – 15 years away and it takes years of planning, saving and investing to eventually get there. My definition of retirement is being able to sustain a comfortable standard of living and being able to do what I like, whenever I like it. I don’t see myself needing much, spending my time on exercising, cooking and picking up some hobbies. I see myself volunteering, perhaps in animal shelters or working with less privilege children, maybe teaching and helping to set up schools in remote areas. I might set up a small online retail business, perhaps DIY some stuff and learn sewing. The husband and I have a private joke – that we will work in MacDonald’s together for some extra income and free food after retirement. Imagining us both old and in Macdonald’s uniform always puts a smile on my face.

Having said that, the current projection is to be financially free when we are around 45 – 50 years-old. It’s when our mortgage is fully paid and when our future children become almost fully independent. And of course, without kids in the picture, we can probably shave 10 years off the number. Perhaps it’s my financial background or perhaps it’s how my family has embedded the importance of money and savings since I was a child – I committed to my first regular savings plan when I was 21. It was an ILP which I have terminated this year, and I was lucky to make 1% p.a. despite the high fees throughout the 8 years. I was lucky to buy units very cheaply during the financial crisis that covered the hefty ILP fees. ILPs are definitely not the best way to grow your money, but without that, I wouldn’t have saved that 5-figure sum that was left untouched throughout the years. I also started a 15-year endowment plan when I was 25 for forced savings, and it matures when I’m 40. Many people started earlier, but many people have not started too. All too often, we hear complaints about how things are expensive and how retirement is but a dream – but these people need to understand that retirement requires years of planning and saving, sometimes making some sacrifices today for tomorrow’s freedom. What’s the point of complaining but not trying to find a way around it?

While I come from a middle-income family, my parents started out poor and have been thrifty all along. I started working at 15, during the June school holidays. A friend referred me for a job at Republic Plaza’s Coffee Bean. I worked for about a year there, part-time during school time. When my peers hung out at malls after school, I made coffee and cleared tables till late. It wasn’t that common around me, because most of my peers came from good families with ample pocket money to spend while my dad has always been very stingy with my pocket money. I hated asking for money, having to justify for why I needed it. I hated being dependent and not able to make my own decisions. I worked till I was 16, when I spent the last few months concentrating on my O’Levels. After O’Levels, I intended to take the Polytechnic route, and started working at DFS in the airport as a cashier at the Liquor and Tobacco shops. Money was pretty good and every single receipt keyed-in earned us an additional 5 cents in addition to our hourly pay. I ended up in Junior College, and worked every school holidays and sometimes during weekends for road shows selling things like Singtel/SPH subscriptions. I took up whatever odd jobs that the agency offered, mostly sales. I started teaching tuition after JC, throughout my university years. When I took up my first job upon graduation, my starting pay was lower than what I earned from part-time tuition during tertiary days. It was a big deal, because I charged barely $20/hr and my student base grew through word-of-mouth. Money was good, because they formed their own groups. Most of the days, I taught for 6 hours a day, back-to-back as they came to my place. Although I’ve wanted to stop teaching as it’s really tiring to teach 2 hours after work, I’m still teaching a few students now, for interest and some extra pocket money. Teaching has always given me the most satisfaction among all my ‘jobs’.

My parents would think that I’m a spendthrift, although I have always saved a large part of my income before spending. I’ve indeed spent a lot of what I earned on CDs and gadgets during my teenage years, and I’ve spent quite abit traveling around the world in the past few years. I guess there has to be a balance, in trying to save up but still being able to experience as many things as possible in life. Every penny spent on traveling has been worth it, as it has opened my eyes and changed me in incredible ways. The husband and I have also created many memorable travel experiences and developed together as a couple. We have always traveled quite frugally, never spending much on accommodation and food. I often wonder when can I travel Europe and enjoy their beautiful hotels and restaurants instead of backpacking and staying in hostels. We did have many unforgettable adventures with our backpacks though, and those memories are priceless. Now, we have also made the conscious decision to delay the purchase of a car and save as much as possible these few years before kids come along and expenditure rises. We can probably afford a car comfortably now, but that would also mean at least $12,000 a year lost in savings. I put aside more than half of my income nowadays, transferred to different accounts to prevent myself from seeing it and spending it. It makes me feel perpetually ‘poor’ and I sometimes delay my purchases till the next paycheck. This helps to rein in my expenditure.

Most people start their retirement planning too late and underestimate the power of compounding interest. What you choose to save instead of spend today will have far-reaching effects in the years to come. There’s also a big difference between saving up first before having children and having children first before saving up! People don’t get it why we want to delay having kids and see no difference in the expenditure now or two years down the road. I beg to differ!

I have started my own portfolio of investments late last year, and would expect to make about 12% return this year through dividends and capital gains. To illustrate the power of compounding interest with a very simplistic illustration, assuming 10% p.a. compounded interest: If A were to save $12,000 a year for 10 years between ages 25 and 34, but stop saving after expenditure rises when kids come along, he will end up with $966,663 when he is 50. Compare that to B who starts saving $12,000 a year from age 35 till 50, he will have $474,536. Although B saved more than A, B has about half of what A has at age 50. Moreover, A doesn’t even save anything between ages 35 and 50!  If the portfolio generates 6% dividends, a $1 million portfolio would have about $60,000 p.a. income, and that would be sufficient for a decent retirement lifestyle without even liquidating anything.

Of course, there are many variables throughout the years and cynics will have many reasons why this wouldn’t work. Some may even complain how difficult it is to even survive in Singapore, let alone save. Circumstances do change, but that doesn’t mean that plans should not be in place to react accordingly. As a matter of fact, it was worked for many regular working-class people, and some of them have shared their knowledge freely. For most, it’s not that difficult to save $1,000 a month when you have very little commitments in your twenties. It can be your bonus and AWS with a few hundred every month. Even if you save less, you will get there eventually with consistency throughout the years. Some may say that a 10% return is neither guaranteed nor achievable, but there are many books that one can read to improve their financial literacy to help you achieve that. Singapore shares represented by STI have generated a 8.8% total annual return for the past 10 years, not taking into account dividends. There are many Singapore companies which have given out a consistent dividend payout of around 5% the past many years. With a long time-horizon and taking advantage of market downturns, it really isn’t that difficult.

The good thing about such planning is that anyone can do it. You don’t need to come from a rich family or have a huge capital to start. It’s possible for any regular working adult who is willing to save a couple of hundreds a month, every month, for a good 10 years. It becomes increasingly difficult to have a good job beyond a certain age and our employment income faces an increasing risk as we age. You don’t want to be 50 and have to work till 60 or even 70 because you do not have enough to retire.

I do hope that Singaporeans would become more financially savvy and start planning their finances early in life. Investing is not the same as gambling. Singaporeans are very lucky to have no tax for capital gain and dividends received, and investing is a very good way to accumulate and preserve your wealth without letting inflation erode it. Hopefully, I will be able to impart my financial literacy to my future kids and help them have a head-start in life.

And maybe, someone might be inspired to start their own retirement planning. =)

.::. 2014: Q1 update .::.

Here we are, with quarter one behind us. Judging from the lack of updates, it’s apparent that things have been crazy. I’ve no idea where all the time went, and the pace keeps getting faster and faster. Most of the days, I’m too tired to even on my laptop when I get home. It has never happened, till recent years.  During the days that I’m home early, I usually cook and just want to watch some television and laze on my sofa/bed. There isn’t that much time after the cleaning-up anyway. My iphone becomes the most used device ever, and contains fragments of whatever worth remembering. Life has been good, and I have been happy, in a calm and contented sort of way. Nothing too exciting, but nothing to feel upset about either, but I've been overworked and tired. My schedule is so packed that days simply fly by. I tell myself it’s alright to work harder now, just so we can slow down when kids come along and focus on them instead. There’s a lot of anticipation for our future, things that we’re working towards, things that keep us going. And yes, having a warm and loving home to come home to everyday makes everything else feel insignificant. =)

I’m getting used to the new role, and getting up at 5am every morning. There’s a lot to learn and do, but there are things that I like about the working environment, especially being able to end work at 4.30pm. The best thing about working in Tuas is that it makes me pack my own lunchboxes (healthier and cheaper!) and there’s no way I can spend money. I don’t have that much of ambition when it comes to work, and working is just a means to an end of being financially free someday. Someday, when my investments pay me as much as my job do or rather enough for a comfortable lifestyle. No plans for any long vacation this year because I'm too busy, next year perhaps.

Looking at my resolutions, I’ve been disciplined and on track financially, growing my portfolio and passive income. I’m not so sure about the physical and studies part though. I haven’t had enough time for enough exercise and I’m feeling lethargic and tired a lot. I think it’s probably the lack of sleep – 5 hours a day isn’t enough for me and trying to sleep before midnight is a challenge. I haven’t even started revising for my exam in June and it doesn’t help that it’s a weekend of weddings right before my exams. I’m looking forward to the 2 girlfriends’ wedding though!

A typical week is now 45 hours of work, 5 hours of tuition, 7 hours of class. Oh, and one hour of ironing on Sundays, some hours of cooking. Weekends are spent working on our little online business, sometimes on sourcing trips or fleas and other administrative stuff. I’m just struggling to get whatever I can done, including housework and packing lunches. What I learnt recent years is to take a day at a time and just focus on what needs to be done to avoid feeling overwhelmed and stressed-up.

I haven’t been lucky these days. 2 weeks ago, I had a bad fall and sprained my feet. We were hailing a cab to meet his friends and it took some time to get one. I hate being late and was rushing through the grass by the road. The husband went in first while I slipped and closed the taxi door as I fell. I fell right on the road, between the curb and the taxi, stuck in a small space and in pain. The husband who has went in first couldn’t see me from inside the cab and took him some time to open the taxi door to find me. There I was on the road, in a weird angle and knocking on the taxi, fearing that it may drive off. And so, I was in a lot of pain the next morning and limped off to a TCM. Thankfully, the pain subsided quite abit the next day and I only limped for 2 days. Did I mention that the husband was laughing and saying that he should take a picture of me?

The last day of the quarter was probably one of the worst days. It’s a Monday. My iPhone dropped into the toilet bowl! It began flashing the apple logo and weird stuff after I off it. It’s now dead even after lying in a ziplock bag full of rice in my dry cabinet. I didn’t back-up my stuff! And when I decided that I can’t go to class without a phone and went home, bird shit fell on my shoulders and bag. It was a 5 minute walk from the bus-stop! What are the odds of everything happening at the same time?! It’s so horrible that it almost sound funny.

And so, I believe that the year can only get better. Afterall, it really isn’t that bad, just small things that I probably wouldn’t remember if I didn’t get this down.

To better quarters ahead ~

.::. 2014 Resolutions .::.

2013

It has been a great year on many counts. After getting over with the wedding and honeymoon, we finally paid off our installments for our home appliances and whatever debts we had. We’ve finally settled into our new home and recovered financially. Both of us are doing great at work and saving up for a family. There’s not much to complain about really. Life has been kind. Compared to the upheavals and all that drama in 2011/2012, 2013 has indeed been a peaceful and great year where everything started to get back on track.

2014 Resolutions

1.       To stay healthy and fit.

Health is wealth! It’s something which I try to do as much as possible, although not as much as I’d like. I do believe that exercise is essential to be healthy and I feel sluggish without exercise. I’ve been cooking a lot in 2013 and have tried to incorporate whole grains and complex carbs into my diet although the husband is not a fan. He practically refuses to eat rice mixed with brown rice, so my mission to switch to brown rice has failed miserably. He complains about the quinoa that I mix into rice too, but at least he eats it anyway. He doesn’t seem to mind whole wheat bread for breakfast though. I pack lunch to eat in the office, and they are mostly quite healthy but I ain’t too disciplined when eating out or during gatherings. I struggle with portion control because I’m always hungry. It’s so easy to fall off the wagon and stop exercising for weeks when I’m really busy and tired. I suppose I should try to be more consistent and disciplined in the coming year!

2.       Creating passive income

Although I’m sashing a good portion of my earnings somewhere where I can’t see nor spend, I’m beginning to become acutely aware that time is running out and I need to start saving and investing more to build up my retirement funds, or even better, a constant flow of passive income. There’s so much to read up and learn and plan. It’s time to spend more time and get this done, including doing more reading and research. First thing first, to spend less and save more! I was quite inspired by this blog that I’ve been reading. Step one to creating passive income was to get full-time employment, something which made me see work in a different light.

 http://singaporeanstocksinvestor.blogspot.sg/2010/02/seven-steps-to-creating-passive-income.html

3.       Finish ACCA already!

I’ve 2 more papers left! I’ve enrolled for classes and exams in June, and I’m hoping that I get this out of the way by June. Worst case scenario is to finish it by December if I fail any of the papers. *makes a mental note to study harder right from the beginning* On a side note, I’m thinking of going back to master Japanese or take CPSM to upgrade my skillset for work after I’m done with ACCA. The husband’s reaction was – huh?! still want to study?! Oh, and I’ve been wanting to learn violin!

Somehow, I can’t seem to idle.

Studies have proven that the human could not multi-task effectively and should only focus on a few goals at one time. I shall focus on these 3 goals and get them done in the new year ahead!

The forecast for next year is supposed to be great for Oxen! To another great year ahead ~

.::. Already December?! .::.

I'm finally back. The past few weeks have been hectic, filled with work travels and a crazy workload. I spent the last week studying mugging for exams as if my life depended on it. It's bad, this last-minute studying thing. I suppose age is catching up and one simply can't cramp in as much as you used to nor write as much as you used to. I ended up feeling really overwhelmed and nearing desperation with a strained wrist that hurts. Thankfully it's over and I'm crossing my fingers to pass that paper. I'm so going to start studying for the June exams already.

After diving into getting everything done and ignoring everything else, I now realize that it's already mid-December. I have not gotten any Christmas shopping done. I feel like me myself needs a few presents. I used to like Christmas and celebrations, but I actually dread it now. I don't look forward to being preached to yet again and there's just simply a lot to do and prepare. I wonder if such festive seasons are for people with lots of time to actually enjoy doing Christmas shopping early (avoiding the crazy crowds) and having all the time to soak in the atmosphere. I'm just feeling overwhelmed and wished I had more time to do more for the people who matters.

December is also a very special time. We will be celebrating our 9th anniversary next week. *gasp* I've no idea where all the time went to, but we've spend 9 years together as a couple. December is also when I take stock of my year and plan what I'd like to accomplish the year ahead. Time is ticking by so quickly. I already have 7 weddings to attend in 2014 and have not found a time-slot for my annual holidays. I really feel like I need an adventure and to get lost somewhere.

This year was great, next year will be even better! =)

If you won't be better tomorrow than today, then why do you need tomorrow for? 

.::. Get Moving .::.

The husband has been away for reservice and it's during times like that when I enjoy my me-time and to visit the gym more often instead of feeling guilty that I'm not home cooking for him or having dinner together. I still love my kickboxing classes and Zumba was surprisingly demanding!

It's also when he's away that I do my shopping.

The new outlet at Suntec is huge, so is the relatively new outlet at Harbor Front.

 

I keep a ready supply of frozen vegetables in the fridge. Did you know that many studies have shown that frozen vegetables contains more vitamins than 'fresh' vegetables which are actually not that fresh? I love the Bird Eye's green beans and because I dislike peas, I never do get the mixed vegetables. They are surprisingly sweet and I usually stir-fry them with some olive oil, a sprinkle of salt and some oregano.

My idea of a yummy but relatively healthy meal. Black pepper chicken chop with stir-fry vegetables topped with an egg.

And this is what I pack for lunch very often. I pack my lunch to office daily and usually pan-fry a fish or chicken seasoned lightly with a pinch of salt and spices with stir-fry vegetables and fresh white button mushrooms (my favorite).

I've been a lot more conscious with my diet although I still indulge during weekends and sometimes dinner because I have dinner with my eat-whatever-no-exercise-but-still-stay-skinny husband. I try to eat as clean as possible when I'm alone and get some exercise consistently.

Not easy to stay in shape, but let's get moving.

.::. Towards 'Success' .::.

I’ve been thinking a lot, about life in general and what I want out of life. You know how things get more and more complicated as you grow up? It’s like how I teach my tuitee addition and subtraction in primary school where there’s no negative numbers. Yet after a few years, I start teaching them addition and subtraction with negative numbers. I remembered how it felt like my world shifted when I realized that negative numbers exist. It’s just like the many other things in life that changes as our perspective and cognitive depth changed.

Life and success used to be one direct route for me, and perhaps many Asians. It’s always the traditional study hard, get good results and find a good job so that you can earn enough and start a family. That’s the kind of mindset I was brought up with – that success in life is seemingly a one-way street. I don’t think my parents would have taken it well if I took the unconventional way. Junior Colleges were preferred over Polytechnics – which resulted in 2 years of misery in my study life. I always wonder how I would have turned out if I pursued Mass Communications in a polytechnic instead of heading to Junior College. I suppose I would have landed myself in a job that I liked a lot more, albeit getting paid less.

My perspective changed that year when I took my Masters’ in Sweden. I suppose that’s what exposure does to you, opening up your mind into many different possibilities and perspectives. I love myself a lot more, gained a lot more confidence and sorted many things out. You suddenly realized that there are so many possibilities and people could be happy and fulfilled doing different things (without pursuing financial security and abundance). You don’t have to be married to be happy, neither do you need a high-paying job or car or house to be successful. Those people and things that used to bother you becomes so insignificant when you look at life as a big picture. It’s hard to describe, but they represented freedom – being free to do what they liked without being bounded by conservative societal norms.

I think the previous generation’s idea of success is financial freedom. It doesn’t matter that you liked your job or not, as long as it paid the bills. This, coming from their childhood where poverty were rampant and financial security generally meant success.

So here I am, somewhere around my quarter-life crisis and still searching for what I want in life and what success means to me. I don’t want a ‘secured’ job with a good income every month when I don’t feel fulfilled by what I do for 8 hours daily. I don’t want to be in the rat race with all the superficialities and unspoken rules in the corporate world. I don’t want to spend all my life dreading Monday and getting up to work every morning, hoping that life could pass by quickly and I can ‘get there’. My dad's advice is still to 'climb higher', but putting life in that narrow perspective makes me feel so trapped. Life is afterall, a journey and everything is transient. I'm learning and conditioning myself to be happy with less material needs these days.

I'm contented with what I have now although I'm still searching. No, I'm not ready for kids yet and I still think that my life ‘is pretty much over’ when I have kids (at least for a decade or so). I think young working mums would agree, while older mums who has been through it all have forgotten how it was like or find such self-sacrifice essential. Like it or not, children suck up all your time and energy and sacrifices have to be made. As much as I love children, I think I’m not ready yet and I should be thankful that the husband wants to wait. I don’t doubt that children will be fulfilling, but it’s like…getting a bikini body – you know it’ll be worth it when you look that great but you just don’t feel like putting in that effort and sacrifices to get there, yet.

This describes my state of mind at this point in life:

Success to me is not about money or status or fame. It’s about finding a livelihood that brings joy and self-sufficiency and a sense of contributing to the world.
-          Anita Roddick, founder of The Body Shop