.::. Simply Better .::.

These 2 years have been very fulfilling and packed, and something that resonates deeply with me recently is this saying : 

‘It doesn’t get easier, you just get better.’

Remember the times when you have to do something new and how difficult or even impossible it seems? I have been there many times these two years. 

Most recently, it was at my new job where the learning curve have been extremely steep. During my second month was the quarter-close and budgeting deadlines when everyday was a race against time. For the first time in my working life, I wished that the weekend wouldn’t come, just so I can have more time before my Friday deadlines. One Friday, I left office near midnight, it was also a first in my working life. But the thing is, I knew that I was just slow and figuring things out, and it would become a lot easier the next time. After 2 months at my new job, many things have become easier although I’m still learning.

I also started driving to work last year when I was still working in Tuas South. I was always nervous about driving, simply because I barely drove since I got my license donkey years ago. I drove a few times and during our USA trip, but my parents never liked me to drive. They were always worried that I couldn’t get out of my own gate and my dad told me that it’s cheaper to take a taxi in case ‘something’ happened. So when we got our own car, the husband made me drive while he sat beside me. We all know how things go when men sits in a car with a female driver. He’s the strictest teacher, constantly reminding me and screaming at me when he thinks that I did not check my blind spots (even if I did!). He also made me parallel park. A few weeks with him later, I drove myself to work a rainy day when I overslept and had to cab to work, yet refuse to pay half a tank of petrol when my car is sitting downstairs. He was supposed to drive with me together to work the next day, since he was on leave and wanted to be with me on my first drive to work. I asked him for permission to drive to work, he said up to me, but later told me to drive carefully and keep a safe distance as it’s raining. Since then, I drove myself to work and picked him up from work.  I constantly ‘hear’ his reminders even when I was driving alone. I still get nervous about driving to a new place now and then, especially during peak hours or when it was raining. I still remember how stressed I was driving up my violin teacher’s condominium carpark – it was those old condominiums with narrow ramps and waist-height walls. I had to go up 6 ramps before I reached the visitor lots and I counted every single one, heaving a sigh of relief after I made it safely every. A few months on, it came so naturally to me that I actually went higher than I needed to. Nowadays, I actually enjoy driving most of the time and I’m no longer scared or nervous about tight spaces nor parallel parking. Weekends are my favorite me-time when I get to drive to the gym and do some shopping. Amazing what a few months can do, isn’t it?

Having played the violin and piano for more than a year, I’m constantly amazed by my own progress.  Whenever I am frustrated when it comes to a new piece, my violin teacher never fails to remind me how I used to struggle with ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars’ just a year ago. 15 months after I first picked up the violin, I passed my Grade 3 ABRSM exams. I don’t think I imagined this much of progress in one year, yet one could actually do so much in a year. I struggle with piano more than violin though, because coordinating 2 hands and 2 melodies and reading from different clefs is really a challenge. I take months to play a song well, yet what used to be difficult could become easy after some time. I’m finally playing Yiruma’s River Flows in You now!

With all these lessons over these 2 years, I am no longer daunted by new challenges! As long as you keep working on it, everything would become easier after some time - only that it did not get easier but you simply got better!

.::. 2016 Resolutions .::.

This was in draft for months, and before I got it published, it's already March!?

2015 Resolutions (and some of 2016):

1. Be more disciplined with exercise and diet to reduce fat % and become leaner/stronger.

While I have gotten stronger and have been keeping an active lifestyle, I don't think I got leaner nor reduced my fat %! This is a constant struggle especially after I started driving to work and consequentially walked less. We did spend more days strolling at Botanical Gardens and brought Chikey to Sentosa to swim and stroll at Sentosa Coast after we got our car though.This shall be a constant work-in-progress every year!

2.Reading more news and books to enrich myself and to meet my financial goals this year.

We have been pretty disciplined and have not spent much on big-ticket items this year. Even holidays were pretty muted to Indonesia and Boracay, Phillipines this year. I also took up additional tuition assignment out of interest and for more supplementary income to cover our addional petrol expense or my music lessons. To some extend, this also helps to mitigate earned salary-risk, given that my income and job was not exactly stable with a 25% workforce reduction in 2015. Financial goals were on target or slightly ahead. We need to persevere 10 more years before she finish our mortgage and become financially free. Hoping to be more disciplined with savings to be ready to take advantage of any market downturn.

3. Learn a new instrument – violin and piano

After starting violin lessons in January and piano lessons in March, I took my ABRSM Grade 3 in February 2016. It took considerable hard work and some stress towards the end, but I'm so glad of the progress I've made. People think I'm crazy, I think I'm crazy too, but it has brought me immense pleasure in playing and making all these progress. There’s still a long way to go, but I hope to continue on this journey in the many years to come!

4. Reduce clutter and organize the home.

We did quite a thorough spring cleaning before Chinese New Year! The house is the cleanest since we moved in, but I still need to continue de-cluttering and organizing my (many) stuff.

5. Experiment with new recipes and cook/bake more often.

Highlights of the year was Prawn Noodle Soup, Chicken Rice and steamed fish! I also cooked for my family's reunion dinner in 2016! I haven't baked much though, it's too fattening and the husband doesn't like sweets.

6. Finish ACCA

Like finally! *wee. No more guilt for not spending my weekends studying and no more night classes! You know what's worst than studying or working? Studying AND working. I can't believe how I used to rush to classes after work and got home past 11pm, only to get up at 5am for work, and still have to find time to study among everything.

2015 was a year with many milestones, but has not been very lucky for me. For one, I lost my wallet the first time in my life, together with all my cards. The wallet was 5 year-old but in very good condition, purchased in New York during one of our trips. I also dropped my phone and cracked the whole screen epicly. Work has not been the smoothest too given the downturn in O&G and dreary environment. There were also many hospital admittance for the family. But as a whole, it wasn’t too bad a year as we still chugged along happily and I achieved most of what I set out to do in 2015.

2016 is supposedly a good year for both of us, and I indeed had a pretty good start.

In 2016, I hope to continue the momentum and make more progress on these core goals.

1.       Stay active and healthy – now that we’ve a car, we do walk less but we can do more. I hope to have more active weekends since the husband does not like to exercie. Shall plan more walks to botanic gardens and MacRitchie, and to bring Chikey out more often to the beach. I also hope to continue my weekly gym sessions and I’ve been planning to start Kayla’s BBG program again. I also cook less often now that we can quickly and easily drive out to eat. I also pick the husband up often, and drop by somewhere for dinner before coming home. So hopefully, I can continue cooking few times a week for more nutritious and healthy meals.

2.       Save and Invest – We are pretty much on-track for our 10-year plan, but it might be more challenging with a car. Given our current lifestyle we should be alright, especially since we’ve cut down on traveling.

3.       Do more – Although the husband and I donate monthly, and I take part in charity programs now and then, I hope to do more for the less priveledged. I have been urging the husband to join me to do some volunteer work but he hasn’t been too keen about it. He thinks that I should take the time to do more for our place (like more housekeeping and packing my stuff) instead of spending the time to do others’ place. =_=” Perhaps we can work out a few one-time off events to volunteer at. Children and animals always have a special place in my heart.

4.       Practice more -  After my Grade 3 exams for both violin and piano early this year, I hope to play more of what I enjoy instead of preparing for exams! Looking forward to work on my dream pieces and perhaps save for a violin upgrade.

5.       Love more – life is too short to be too busy for your loved ones. Broadly, this includes more cooking, more housekeeping, more quality time together with all my loved ones.

I can’t believe that I will be turning 30 very soon I have turned 30. I don’t feel like 30, although I do feel that at this age, I am in better control of my life in all the different aspects. It might be a scary thing to age for some, but I realized that time gives you a perspective that nothing else could.

Time. Time is a very scary thing that is slipping away every second and can never be recovered. I was looking through my old stuff like photos from secondary school and my studying materials in school and from my time in Sweden. I threw most of them away, but I feel this sense of loss and emptiness, like I can't bear to let go of those wonderful times. It's another topic all by itself, but well, time pass us by way too quickly.

The husband is away yet again on a work trip. It's during these times when I'm home-alone and free that I spend more time reflecting. I know right, how did he become such an integral part of me that I feel a sense of emptiness and a dull ache of loss without him?

To another wonderful year ahead! =)

.::. Taking Stock .::.

As we are concluding Q3 and going into Q4, I’m glad that 2015 has been another great year, though not exactly lucky for me. I got into an accident, hurt my feet and lost my wallet the first time in my life.

Most of the goals that I’ve set for this year has been checked off the list though.

I have finished my ACCA exams, and is now officially a CPA Affiliate! Not that I’m going to find another job to be an accountant; nor does this change much of anything. I’m glad that I’m done with studying. Studying while working is really tough, especially if you would actually want to have a life. So glad I'm done with this one. =)

An unexpected event threw us off our plans though – we got a car. Yes, I know, absolutely foolish financially when we do not need a car and have free transport to work. It’s an additional expense of almost $2k if not for some help from this parents. It's still a substantial sum of money that could be invested for early retirement and holidays. Although I’m now excited about having our first ride, I can’t say that this has not weighed us down financially and perhaps mentally. I dislike liabilities and hate having to worry about money. After all the sums, we can probably afford it, but things will be different if kids come into the equation and we can no longer enjoy those amazing holidays. If not for the over-trade rebate from the MIL’s old car, and relatively cheaper COE now, we probably wouldn’t have done it. Having said that, since it’s a done deal, we must make sure that we get most out of the car. I’m already planning weekends out with Chikey, and the many places that I always wanted to go but couldn’t without a car. This almost translates to pay more to spend more. =_=”

And with 9 months on my violin, 6 months of piano classes, I’m preparing for Grade 3 ABRSM exams early next year! It brings me so much joy to be able to do what I love and make so much progress over the months. It’s hard work, but it’s a process that I actually enjoy, more than studying for ACCA!

Fitness wise, I’ve been pretty consistent this year till recently. I love BodyPump and BodyCombat, and all the muscles that I'm building. It feels great being stronger and having the energy to do all I do, though my mum constantly reminds me that I'm too 'fat'. It's annoying, but it's also amazing how because of her, I have learnt to not let peoples' opinion of me bother me too much over the years. Life is too short to bother about what people think. 

And here is a picture of us, scaling 2 volcanoes in Indonesia after our exams. It was another great adventure. We climbed Ijen in the dark, leaving the hotel at midnight and reached the top before daybreak. I hope that we stay fit enough to do this again! And I hope that I get to sit down and write about this trip, and our 10th anniversary trip to Maldives last December. And there was Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh.

The haze is making me so allergic and I’m relying on my inhaler at times. Apart from necessary, I’m hiding at home as much as possible. I have been coughing since weeks ago too. I hope this haze goes away soon! Shooo~

.::. Reconnecting with Music .::.

For a very long time, for some strange reason, music disappeared from my life. I loved music as a child. My dad used to like classical orchestra music and some Chinese pop songs. He always played it loudly on his huge speakers. I also sang karaoke with my aunts and uncles with the huge black disks. I went for those Yamaha music classes at Clementi. I always remembered the tutu-kueh that my dad bought for me after every lesson. But soon, I got bored as the Yamaha group classes spent most of the time singing and clapping and playing using only one hand for the year or two that I had classes there. I stopped lessons after some time, but have learnt how to read notes and play some simple songs. By the time I was in primary school, I wanted to learn the piano, but my parents didn’t allow me to learn. They told me to focus on streaming in Primary 4 before thinking about the learning piano. I naively thought that I could start learning the piano if I did well. When I was finally done and got into ‘EM1’, I asked to learn the piano again. They again refused and asked me to focus on the demanding curriculum in ‘EM1’, and make sure that I do well for PSLE. By then, I was playing the keyboard in our school ensemble and they thought that it was enough. I never asked to learn piano again after that but self-learnt some pieces I liked on the organ that I had at home.

By the time I was in Secondary school, I spent most of my money buying mando-pop and Jpop CDs. My dad used to scold me endlessly about my ‘spendthrift’ habits, money that I saved from that little pocket money I had and money that I’ve saved from working after school when I turned 15. We had a karaoke system at home and some cheap VCDs that my dad got from China. I spent lots of time singing and playing some songs on the piano that my parents got for my sisters. I even wrote some songs with basic cords and sent them out to record companies during those crazy days. By the time I was done with JC, music started draining out of my life. I stopped playing the piano ever since my sisters got better than me. I stopped listening to music because I preferred silence and had simply had no time. I started dating the husband and spilt my time teaching tuition and working part-time outside school. I finally saved enough for my first trip on the plane when I turned 21 with the husband. I’ve no idea when or how, but music just crept out silently and made way for everything else.

I loved the quiet and stillness during the year when I was in Sweden. It was calm and tranquil and I loved seeing the scenery go by when I was traveling on trains or buss around Europe. I loved wandering on the cobbler stones roads and watching the world go by. During those days, the basking violinists on the streets left a deep impression on me. Sometimes it was freezing cold, and sometimes it was sunny and warm, but the violinists on the streets always sounded so beautiful. For the first time ever in my life, I wished that I could play the violin as beautifully.

By the time I’m back, it was all forgotten and tucked behind my mind. I got busy with life again, and then the house and wedding came. It took some time before we’re finally settled down and comfortable before I entertained thoughts of learning the violin again as I’m finishing my ACCA exams. I don’t think the husband truly understands this side of me that he has never seen before in the past 10 years. He might have heard me sing, but never have he heard me play. I don’t think he even believed that I could play any instrument. Even for my closest friends, they probably haven’t heard me play either. Probably only nana who played alongside me on the keyboard in the primary school ensemble remembers me playing.




My beautiful piano was delivered few months ago, and I have been taking piano classes for the past month. I can’t believe it’s happening, that I could be crazy enough to empty my bank account for a long-lost dream at this point of time. I now have a 4-year-old a Yamaha U1 Silent piano that I got second-hand from a parent whose child does not want to learn the piano anymore. Parents buy such expensive toys for their children nowadays! I'm now playing Grade 2 songs on the piano, and it was a struggle trying to relearn what I used to know.

So here I am, half year into learning the violin and playing Grade 3 songs. Although my teacher tells me repeatedly that I’m doing very well and learning very quickly, I always feel that I’m not doing well enough nor fast enough. Maybe it’s me trying to make up for so many lost years, but it suddenly hit me that I’ve lived with a void for so many years. I have forgotten how music fills me with so much happiness and brings upon a firework of emotions in me. I have forgotten how much I enjoy playing music and it really makes me wonder why did I ever stop.

As an adult learner, it’s really an uphill climb that takes some determination and commitment. Although it really helps that I can already read music and have a good feel musically, violin itself is a difficult instrument to learn. It’s getting more difficult as I’m finished Book 2, but my bowing has improved exponentially. I don’t dare to imagine a day that I can play without tapes and can sound really smooth, but I’m just working on sounding better than I did yesterday. I practice almost everyday now and sometimes even I amaze myself at the progress I’m making. I was learning Minute 3 aka Lovers’ Concerto and it was my first time trying to play slurs. It was so awkward and I sounded really horrible, yet after like 3 hours of practice, I started getting used to the bowing and it actually started to sound like a song. Slurs now feel natural! Learning the violin trains my patience and taught me that everything takes time. To get from here to there, it simply takes time and effort. I know that no matter how difficult things may seem initially, it will get easier and I just need to keep going at it. Things simply do not happen overnight, the whole process takes time. It finally hit home that everyone has 24 hours a day and it’s a consistent and persistent choice daily that one has to make to get to where they want to be.

I have no idea what hit me, but after learning the violin, something reignited in me and I feel more alive than ever upon reconnecting with music. I suddenly seek the piece of me that I forgot existed. I suddenly have this urge to play the piano again and to be better than I used to be. Sadly, when I touched the piano again, I can’t remember how to play the songs that I used to know by memory. Playing music sometimes enable you to lose yourself in the melody and to go into another world that is far from harsh reality. I wished that the husband could join me in my musical world and feel what I feel, and I wish that my children can know music and have a place to escape to when reality gets too harsh. I’m thankful that the husband has been supportive all these years – 谢谢你重荣我的随心所欲。He even bought me a music stand and violin stand when I mentioned in passing that I needed to get them. And when I was insistent about getting a piano, so I can learn and have my children grow up in a musical environment, he grudgingly agreed after some resistance with space and noise concerns.

It's amazing how much progress I have made this year, and my teachers are sending me for Grade 3/4 exams next year. I'm really enjoying the process and have hopes that I could finish Grade 8 just so that I can make it my retirement job in future. How amazing it would be to fill my days teaching children music, bringing them into a whole new world. =)