.::. Loves .::.



Braved the snow and cycled to the post office to collect a package from dear Chye! It wasn't that bad though, snow was slight on Monday although it snowed the whole day. It was quite a beautiful sight with the snow floating in the air. It wasn't too cold, somewhat warmer than Stockholm!

It means alot to receive something from Chye, since she can be too lazy to even reply emails! She even handmade wrapers and wrapped it around green tea sachets - damn sweet la! Thank you girl! I miss the girls so much.

The other package which the boyfriend sent over has not arrived. =( I received some letter asking for my personal number for the package to clear custom. It said that I might be asked to pay tax (but should not be the case), and said that I have to pay SGD45 a administrative fee regardless the need for tax. I'm damn pissed - isn't it their job to check the package in the first place? Why should I pay more on top of the postage which is already ridiculously expensive? I hate the way things are done here, and I've no idea when my package would arrive nor if I'll be charged. But there is no doubt that I am going to complain and try to get it waived. There have been so many occasions that I am writing complain letters and making a big fuss over things like that. I think people here are either too rich or too lazy to do anything but pay just to avoid confrontations.

I bought Korrs Hot and Sour soup mix just before I left Singapore! My roommate brought quite a few packets from Taiwan but I have not seen it in Singapore till the last day. It costs $1.60 a packet and is surprisingly good! I think I bought like one dozen here and it satisfies my craving for Crystal Jade's noodles. I bought chinese black vinegar from the Asian supermarket yesterday - costs me $12!! But it made this hot and soup soup 'mian xian' so damn good! I love chinese black vinegar. I'm going to wrap dumplings and have them with black vinegar some day!

I had Ikan Bilis soup with onions, carrots, black pepper and lots of wolfberries some days back. I love it, it's very sweet and healthy!

This is like the only picture which I took with Emma in Stockholm. Stockholm was...cold. It's pretty small for a capital city and we covered most of it in 1.5 days. While I think that it'll be beautiful during summer, with it being surrounded by lots of water, I am quite disappointed. I've no idea what I expected, but Oslo and Paris sure raised my expectations of capital cities. Paris is my favourite city in Europe so far, though I haven't been to that many!

Still, it has been a nice weekend getaway with Emma, my valentine. I guess it's quite rare to meet someone who's relatively similar to me in many ways. It makes our chats really comfortable and enjoyable. I am going to learn baking from her ferociously these months!

After a weekend of hiatus, I'm drowning in a sea of readings and research. I've so much to do and read, my brain is malfunctioning already. *sigh.

It's a long day tomorrow.

1 essay
1 case study
2 presentations
2 exams
1 thesis
-the end-

.::. Chinese New Year .::.

I'm not going to celebrate Chinese New Year this year. Obviously not, when I'm this far away from home, in a country with a non-existent 'Chinatown'.

I realized that 'Chinese New Year' meant alot more to me than I thought. Afterall, we do celebrate it every single year and don't feel much about it. But now that I'm here, the first time in my life that I'm not celebrating it, I actually feel very sorry for missing it. The thought of it makes me very depressed and I can't help it, can't seem to pull myself out of it. I just have to cope with it and ignore it.

I miss the atmosphere, when everyone goes shopping, doll up and buy lots of goodies to prepare for it. I miss the crowded supermarkets which repeats annoying chinese new year songs, with impatient people shoving their way around and the snaking long queues. Who can resist the goodies and all the gatherings and steamboat? I really miss walking down the noisy and crowded Chinatown - the atmosphere is unbeatable.

Chinese New Year is a period of indulgence, of joy, of togetherness. No reunion dinner for me this year, no visiting, no dressing up, no nothing! Amazingly, Chinese New Year coincides with the only time I bother painting my nails once a year.

Don't quite understand why some people would rather go on holiday instead of celebrating Chinese New Year! I guess I really wouldn't miss it if I had a choice. I really should stop being whiney about it and take heart that I have many more Chinese New Years to celebrate ahead.

I'm going to Stockholm for the weekend with Emma to get away from loneliness and homesickness. Emma is this really cute and kind french girl who makes really good dessert and makes me laugh. Since she really wants to visit Stockholm and I've 3 days left on my Europass, why not?

Not being home with all my loved ones make celebrating this occasion somewhat pointless for me. It's that whole atmosphere and feeling which I crave for and could never get here.

May all my beloveds stay happy and healthy.

I'm going to Stockholm and enjoy this weekend! =)

15 weeks. Feels way too long, yet seem so short at times.

.::. Rush Hour .::.

I have two 8 o'clock lesson this week and I have to get up at 6am, so you can imagine how much I dislike it.

For some reason, the train was ridiculously crowded today. It's worst than Singapore's rush hours! Because the lecturer is very anal about lateness, I squeezed up the train which stops at 3 different stops before reaching Lund. I didn't wait for the direct train, fearing that I might miss the connecting bus or couldn't squeeze up the bus. I reckon that there are too many students rushing for lesson and they seriously do push their way up the train though there was hardly space when we started the journey from Malmo. Given the Swedish's reputation for keeping their distance, you can imagine that this is totally unlike them. I can't blame them though, since the next train is 30 minutes later - not to mention having to wait in the cold and be late for lessons and whats-not. Buses are equally annoying, you have to try and squeeze to the front of the queue or the bus will simply leave once it's full and you have to wait for 15minutes for the next bus. *sigh. Arduous journey to school!

It's quite interesting to observe various differences between the Swedish and Singaporeans. While Swedish are rather 'cold' people who tend to keep their distance and take some time to warm up, there are some things which they speak up for often.

Swedish people would take up every seat in a bus, even if you put your things on the seat or take up more than a seat. They would ask you to more over and let them have the seat. It's alittle different, for most Asians would take the hint and simply stand instead of confronting that person for that seat. Sometimes we don't even want to sit beside someone with 'uninviting' body language. Swedish people would also tell you off right into your face often. There was once when I got down my bike and was pushing my bike, walking on the biking path. A Swedish man walking beside me rudely pointed to the walking path and gestured for me to walk over to that side! This was when the pathway was so big and there wasn't anyone else around. I almost felt like asking him to mind his own business.

When it was really crowded in the train this morning, I was standing beside this ridiculously tall guy - my head barely reached his shoulders and my shoulders barely reached his waist. He was carrying this slim backpack, but he was so tall that the backpack was rather near a woman's face. Well, it's that croweded, there's nothing much you could do but tolerate it. But no, that Swedish woman asked him to take off his backpack (in Swedish which I didn't understand). He awkwardly took off his backpack when we barely had space to stand and practically shoved his butt into my face when he tried to bend down to put his backpack on the floor.

Swedish people might not take the initiative to talk to you, but they sure ain't afraid to speak up when they feel like it.

Perhaps I'm only experiencing these because I'm not staying in Lund, the school town with mostly students. People staying in Lund probably have very different experiences with Swedish people there, who should be used to or curious about international students. It's different staying in a bigger town.

Oh well, rush hours are really bad during winter. I need Spring to come.

.::. Melodifestivalen 2010 .::.

Melodifestivalen is dubbed to be the 'religion' of Sweden. It's this singing competition, like Singapore Idol. Every week there are 8 contestants who sings original songs and 2 will be voted into the finals while 2 goes into the 'wild card' round for a second shot into the finals. They'll then choose 1 contestant to represent Sweden to take part in the Eurovision where all European countries compete against each other. We watched it on Saturday night and it was quite interesting, one was plain weird and some others were...different. Hahas. I guess I'm going to try to watch every week's competition and be involved in this 'in' thing in Sweden.

This first 2 went into the finals and the last 2 had a second chance. I personally liked 'Linda' because I like Shakira and she can sing. My roommate likes 'Pain of Salvation' who I think have a nice voice but was 'alittle too much' for me. Salem's song was very catchy though I don't like his voice. Ola is the hot favourite but I don't like! Just look at his leg! So yea...if you're bored enough just search for the other 4...

My first Swedish 'addiction'. Hahs.

.::. Nostagic .::.

.::. Emotional .::.

I've got...New Moon Sharkfins' soup!!!


I was pushing the flap of my mailbox to check for mail as usual when I came home this evening. To my horror, it didn't bludge and I almost thought someone 'locked' my mailbox. Who knows, I found this when I opened it with the key. I've got no idea how the postman managed to shove this package into the flap of my mailbox - it is definitely thicker than the flap and rather big. Does that mean that the postman has the key to my mailbox?!

Apparently the boyfriend took great pains to wrap the package with many layers of newspaper AND many many layers of clingwrap.

I was really quite surprised to realize that he sent me such stuff! It did cross my mind to get some CNY goodies here when I was home and the supermarkets have started selling these. But I concluded that I can do without these and only brought some barbecue pork and prawn crackers which the girls gave me.

鱼生! And still got 年糕! He even put the sauce in plastic bag.


Super 感动! Thank you darling!

It has been a long week. This term feels so much busier since I've classes 4 days a week. I'm taking one module called 'Organization culture, Identity and Leadership' which requires us to go through 2 case study every week and write a one page analysis before we go for seminars and discussion. This is in addition to the stacks of readings and research for my group essay and thesis. I'm tired, everyday starts with a long agenda.

I've been going to the gym with Emma for classes very often! Clocked 5 hours this week! I can see my myself tone up already. It's a nice way to destress and stay sane. It also forces me to study for abit after classes, before gym, which is rather productive. The only bad thing is not being able to be home in the evenings equates to not being able to talk to the boyfriend much. =( I hate time differences.

I've been rather emotional lately. Maybe it's PMS, but sometimes I miss the boyfriend so much that it hurts. It's embarassing to admit this. He has been appearing in my dreams rather often these days and I dream of home alot too. *sigh.

So yea...it means so much to me when I receive mails and packages from home. Makes me cry.

It's official - I hate cobblestone roads. It has been rather warm these 2 days! About one or two positive degrees. Really great compared to the -19 degrees last Saturday. Snow has started to melt and the only bad thing is when water from the melting snow freezes to form a layer of ice when it turns cold at night. It literally translates to walking on ice. There were a few times when I nearly fell, because you simply have no clue which area is slippery and lose your footing. Then, tonight, I fell really hard on my butt. =( It totally took me by surprise and I stayed on the floor for several seconds, in pain. Thankfully a very nice Swedish couple rushed over to help me up, probably rather shocked by my spectacular fall. *sigh. I've witnessed quite a few falls myself, the roads can be hazards, especially cobblestone roads which are difficult to walk on already normally AND dangerous to walk on during winter.

TGIF.

It's a nice and quiet Friday night, alone at home (the roommate went for a party), warm in my bed after a warm bath, nursing my muscleaches and butt ache, sipping earl grey tea, savouring the love from home and missing home.

I'm okay. Contented. It's normal to miss home. Right?

16 weeks.

.::. Way too much .::.

It has been snowing since noon today. Heavy, non-stop snow. Not surprisingly, the buses are late, trains are delayed.



It's not obvious. Perhaps if you look carefully below the lamposts, there is a hint of the heavy snow. You can imagine the amount of snow on the floor after almost 10 hour of non-stop snow. It was so difficult to walk since nobody have been clearing the pathways - like walking in cold sand? I was so afraid that I would slip and fall.

Heaps of snow everywhere!

The tracks were totally covered by snow. The trains were ALL delayed and we were quite lucky. We only took twice the normal time to get home - about 1.5 hours. There were trains delayed for 2 hours or more!

Some evidence of heavy snow. It was pretty scary, with big snow flakes flying around in the wind. Totally not a good time to be out.

They say that we are 'lucky' to experience the worst best winter ever. It has been 23 years since there was this much snow in the southern part of Sweden.

When we just arrived, all of us were very concerned about whether it would snow during winter here. All of us were very disappointed to hear that it hardly snows and snow never stays on the ground. All the Swedish people told us that if we were lucky, there might be a few days of snow. That explains why my roommate and I ran out at midnight to take pictures when it first snowed in December, afraid that the snow might disappear the next morning.

I guess most of us are just sick of the snow now. I no longer have the urge to roll in the snow nor play with snow. It's February and it's still snowing so much these days!

I can't wait for Spring to come. I miss the sun and blue skies!

.::. Frozen .::.

It's way too cold, I'm freezing. It has been snowing alot these days and temperatures fluctuate up and down. Weather forecasts predicts snow for the next few days too.



I went ice-skating with some coursemates on Saturday, and it was so cold. My toes went numb.

The view from my balcony.

Walking to the bus-stop.

Somewhere near the ice-skating place.

It's been 2 weeks since I'm back in Sweden. Time flies. Maybe it's because of the 3 weeks back in Singapore that made me have to get used to the cold all over again. Maybe it's just simply colder. I hate the wind hitting my face, it is as if my face is going to crack open soon. The winter landscape is beautiful though. But sometimes, it's snowing so much that buses stop services, trains are delayed for hours. It's really inconvenient, not to mention all clothes you have to pile on before going out.

I still manage to get homesick somehow. It's like a dull ache that is always there. I'm going to feel it more during CNY. *sigh. I do cherish every moment here though there are down moments.

Lectures are going into full force, I seem to have more lessons this semester and alot to read and research about. It's so hard to concentrate and digest so many journals at times. I shall work very hard until Easter holidays after exams. I'm probably going to Poland with the roommate and her friends before flying to Holland to visit Simon (Jo's cousin whom I've known for 10 years). *yayyy. Looking forward to it. =)

17 weeks.

.::. Acer .::.

This was what I gave up macbook pro for.

It's 13.3 inches, super slim, very light at 1.6kg with 3GB RAM, 320GB HDD and 8 hours battery life!

Macbook pro weighs 50% more AND costs 50% more, with much lesser HDD, slower processor (though it's impossible to compare), and shorter battery life.

Maybe the operating system is unbeatable, but I've Windows 7. Hahs.

Perhaps another 5 years before I can contemplate a switch to Apple...

This is good for a poor student though. Did I mention that my dad loves Acer? It's cheap. I have an Acer laptop which works on Pentium that is still working after 8 years or so. My old Acer has been working for 5 years without much problems, and should still last for some time after a change of hardisk.

So yea...iMac maybe?

.::. iPad .::.

The talk of the town world.

Need I say more?


Internet surfing.

Youtube.

ebooks.

Applications.

It was on the front page of the free Swedish newspaper today. I see girls gasping excitedly when they saw their friend reading the newspaper with THE frontpage, grabbing it to check this out.

My switch to macbook wasn't successful 5 years ago, isn't successful now either. But I love such gadgets, who could resist Apples.

I have been thinking, if I were to get a new phone, would I get an iPhone? Honestly, I don't think so. I think I'll get a Blackberry since I prefer buttons and high-tech phones, preferably with a good camera to boot (comes in handy when my Ixus is spoilt like now). But then, I love the mobile uploads and some photo applications for iPhone.

The perfect solution? A blackberry, an iTouch and an iPad!

Lust. Just lust.

.::. SNOW(storm) .::.

I know I said I loved snow about 2 months ago, but all I want is for the snow to go away now! It was fun to see the weather turning cold and for the rain to turn to snow, but now, snow really brings lots of inconvenience to everyday life...

I joined the school gym with Emma and my roommate (it's only SGD$80 for the whole semester). We have been going rather often (twice last week). It's great to start exercising again! I was supposed to meet Emma to go to the gym this evening, but it has been snowing really heavily the whole day. I looked out of the window and the wind and snow looks daunting. Moreover, my roommate told me that trains were delayed and I dreaded walking on dirty snow with colder-than-ice wind blowing in my face. So...I ended up staying indoors, hiding at home.




Snow storm today.

Snow is accumulating on my windows!

Even my balcony is covered with a thick layer of snow! My sheltered balcony!!!

A sea of white out there.

Very cold. Very difficult to walk. I don't feel like going out in the cold. *sigh.

I couldn't video it down, because my Ixus is spoilt! There is a lens error. I brought it to Kiruna and wanted to video dog-sledging. Who knows, it was too cold and the battery couldn't work. The lens came out for abit before going back inside when the camera 'died'. When I came back indoors and changed the battery, there is a lens error and I couldn't on it anymore. Very upseting! =(

Siao ar?! Very cold.

How to go out?!!

.::. Cold .::.

Did I mention that it is freezing here? It's crazy. I do not wear leggings under my jeans and sometimes it gets alittle too cold despite my very thick jacket. I hate it when it is windy, because my face feels like it is going to crack like my lips. It's going to be even colder on Thursday and I can't hide at home because I have classes. =( It's even cold indoors with the heater on, about 10 to 15 degrees. That explains why I feel like air-conditioned malls feel hot and stuffy back hoe.

I'm hiding at home, trying to read my stack of journals. Ahhh, I dislike journals, textbooks are easier to digest.

Webcam-ing with the dog is loves. Sometimes it appears that he is looking at me and could hear what I say, other times he just looks very blur and suspicious of the sounds. Really cute, that boy.

I've got my first high pass in school! Hahas, but I don't think I'll manage to get that again since my previous group was really strong and proactive. Group work usually pulls me down and I'm not strong enough to pull the whole group up, so I always end up missing it by a few points. *sigh. Guess I can only try my best.

18 weeks! 8 weeks of school, then thesis and I'm done. *yay.

Oh, and I'm very touched that even my ex-tuition kid remembered my birthday!

.::. Kiruna .::.

It was my first time traveling alone and I struggled for quite some time, trying to envision myself going all the way there, trying to anticipate what I would feel. It was the 3rd time I'm booking tickets to Kiruna, and for some reasons, my travel companions always couldn't make it last minute. I really thought hard, because it's a 22 hour train ride from where I stay and it's so cold up north, easily -25 degrees. I'm not afraid of being alone, but when it comes to traveling alone, I'm most concerned about safety and logistics! There's the part where nobody could take care of your stuff for you or being all alone and lost when it's so freaking cold.

I decided on going in the end, because I've been wanting to visit the ice-hotel for years! I'm afraid that I might not have time when school reopens as this semester is very packed. I would really leave Sweden with regrets if I came here and didn't visit the ice-hotel! Thus, I arrived 'home' in the morning after 11 hours on the plane and hopped on the train to Kiruna in the afternoon for another 22 hours on the train. It was rather tiring though.

It was cold, but the weather is alot better, no more snow storms and train delays! I slept a whole 12 hours on the train. Afterall, I need all the energy.

Despite being prepared for the cold, I was freezing when I got down the train. The wind was rather strong. Maybe because it is the 2nd day I'm back in Sweden after 3 weeks in Singapore's tropical climate too. For a moment, I felt rather lost. The place was pretty much desserted, without people in sight. I'm armed with the map to make it to my hostel, but there were no road names. All I see is heaps of snow everywhere. Roads are different from those on the maps as they only clear some roads of snow for people to walk. Alas, I managed to find my hostel not long after and deposited my bag while I made my way to the ice-hotel.

Things didn't go quite smoothly. The whole town was desserted. People gave me conflicting information. It seems like that there were no public buses running on weekends (damn them). I was too late to book any tours to get to the ice-hotel. In short, I was stucked in a desserted town with nobody on the streets, really cold winds and no shops open. I was feeling deperate for abit. I came so far for the ice-hotel and there's no way that I'm leaving without visiting it. I managed to make my way in the end though. I had to take the taxi and luckily, the reception arranged transportation for me to get back to my hostel after the visit (at a good price).

I spent the whole afternoon at ice-hotel. It wasn't that big, but the suites were quite beautiful. I loved the church and some of the rooms. But after the whole afternoon outside, I was quite cold by the time it was evening. I couldn't believe that I was finally there. The whole idea of building a hotel using ice and snow, and then having it melt down in summer and rebuilt again in winter fascinates me though I'll never want to sleep in there!

One of the bad thing about traveling yourself is that you can't have many pictures of yourself. I can totally imagine posing for all sorts of pictures if I were with my friends!

I went back to the hostel early and rested since it was so cold and desserted outside anyway! I was staying in a 4-bedroom dorm with another dutch girl. She was also traveling alone! We had dinner and tea together before she went to chat up others while I went online and went to bed at 9pm.

The next day, the tour guide picked me up at the hostel and I started my 2 day tour. We drove about 30 minutes out of the city to a small camp to change into snow boots and snow pants. There was another group of 6 french and german students on the same tour. Thankfully, they were nice and I didn't feel left out.

We got ready and helped to lead the dogs out to an area where they can eliminate and prepare for dog-sledging. It was quite saddening for me, to see them being locked in boxes just slightly bigger than them all the time. They were howling and dying to get out. When we let them out, they eliminated and was dying to run. Maybe the dogs are so obedient and willing to pull sledges because they've been locked in for so long and were dying to get out and run. *sigh.

Dog-sledging was fun! Especially when you were standing behind and 'driving' it. We had to step on the brakes to control the speed and to make sure that the line joining the dogs were taut to prevent any accidents. We went on for about 30 minutes before we reached the camp site which was near the intersection of 2 rivers, which were half-frozen. It was beautiful!

It was a very traditional camp site. We had to saw firewood for the fireplace and get water from the river. We BBQed sausages in this small hut with a fire burning and had lunch in the kitchen, the only small hut which had heating. The tour was quite cheap actually, but we were taken care of by an indigenous Sami guy who was probably not socialized enough or too proud and rude. It wasn't really that bad, but it's just difficult to be relaxed and enjoy around him. He says things which makes you roll your eyes all the time.

Before long, it was dark and we went out in search of norther lights. We lay on the snow for awhile but decided to head back when it was getting too cold. Only 2 french guys decided to venture out somemore, and they were the only people who spotted nothern lights for 20 minutes or so that night. *sigh! The rest of the night was spent chatting and going out again in search of norther lights. I gave up at midnight and went to sleep in the cold Lappish hut. It was rather cold inside despite the fireplace but thankfully, it was warm in the sleeping bag.

We woke up early for breakfast the next day. The germans wanted to go skiing, so we put on rather traditional wooden skiies and went out 'skiing'. It was more like cross country skiing, not the traditional ski resort downhill slopes. I was so clumsy on my skiies and the route was uphill! We were skiiing uphill in the forest covered in thick snow and I kept sliding down. I gave up after like 200m, after I fell and seriously thought that it was dangerous. I might just fall backwards and roll down the hill, hitting god-knows how many trees!

3 other guys who weren't good at skiing headed back with me. It was dangerous for beginners like us and we were sweating buckets, not having fun at all. We ended up following another trail and hiked instead. It was beautiful, the surrounding area. We walked in thick snow to get better views and angles for pictures. Luckily we had snow boots and snow pants on and had no problems even when the snow was up to our knees! Those guys were actually quite nice and looked out for me, I'm thankful to have met nice people on this solo trip.

After spending the whole morning outside, we tried ice fishing. It involved drilling a hole in the frozen lake so that we can put our fishing line into the water through the thick ice. It was no fun at all, because we jolly-well know that there was no fishes at that area. We basically squatted there, holding the fishing rod in the cold wind and took pictures. The german guy described it the best - "Fishing is boring. Ice-fishing is cold AND boring.'

We had lunch after that and it was time to go. We went back by snow mobile this time round. I've no idea what's so exciting about snow mobile. It's just like a sturdy motorcycle which goes on snow. We drove really slowly for safety reasons since we had a load behind, but you could easily go more than 100km/hr on it. I didn't like it, because it was noisy and smelly - you could smell the diesel smell all the time. The scenery was beautiful when we drove back, as the sun was setting.

That marked the end of my first solo trip. We went back to change out of our snow boots and snow pants before going to the supermarket. The tour guide sent me to the train station where I waited for my train and another 22 hour train ride back 'home'.

I must be alittle crazy to go all the way there alone right after a 11 hour flight. I'm not sure what made me do it, but I reckon that if you want something enough, you would push aside all fears and obstacles to do it. I went knowing that it was a very safe place with virtually no crime (nor many people). I'm not sure if I'd dare to travel around Europe alone though, where there are many not-so-safe places. It's not worth the fear and risk.

When I was back in Singapore this time round, I met my (ex)mentor of my previous job. He is a very knowledgeble and optimistic man. He told me that we should try to move every few years, to experience new things and not stay stagnant in life. Pulling yourself out of your comfort zone to experience the unknown and different things takes courage, but I think it's essential to stimulate your senses and explore yourself.

I was reading Elizabeth Gilbert's book - 'Eat, Pray, Love' on this journey. This book is very much about the spiritual journey of a woman in search of herself. The boyfriend bought this book as a birthday present for me (because I chose it), and it is the perfect companion for this trip. When you are alone on such a journey, you seem to think of things which you wouldn't think of when you're going through life's routine. I thought of so much, I think I found myself and what is important to me.

I am blessed.

Like the book which Jo gave me for Christmas, I am 'conjoyed'. In 'The Geography of Bliss' by Eric Weiner, he said that there is no english word to describe this kind of happiness. It is the combination of 'contented' and 'joyful'.

I am conjoyed! Very conjoyed.

Thank you, for giving me this and everything.

.::. Birthday .::.

I reckon this is the first time I spent my birthday away from all my loved ones. It isn't a big deal, it's just another day which makes me older by a day. They say age is a number. Indeed. I always say I feel old, but most people don't really get what I mean. When I say I feel old, I mostly mean that I'm aware that time passes by so quickly and I still feel like I'm 18 yet reality stares into my face and tell me I'm way past 18. When I say I feel old, it's also a way of telling myself that time is passing by every minute and I should really make full use of it and do things which I really would like to - like being happy.



I celebrated my birthday here with the closer friends and quite a few people whom I met the first time. It's really not my thing, but I reckon that I am blessed to have people celebrating it for you when you're this far away from home. Emma made me my favourite cheesecake and it was soOoOoOo good! It was a cold day yesterday, and I think my roommate felt a need to ask me out (and not hide at home watching drama) since it's my birthday. We went out 'shopping', exploring that little shopping area which we have never visited despite staying here for the past 6 months. We wanted to have coffee, but it was so cold and you just felt like you wanted to go back to your warm home.

The sister shares the same birthday as me. I celebrated my birthday with her every single year since she was borned. They celebrated without me this year, but it was as if I was there. I know they must be thinking of me, and that is enough for me. My little sis's photoshop skills are getting better, and I'm going to beg her to teach me some of it!

I'm thankful for those who remembered me on my special day. =)

I feel like I'm at the most important period of my life. Coming here has made me sit back and look at my own life, questioning many things which I've been told or brought up to believe in. It has been a period of self-reflection, self-realization.

This year has made me reflect on many things. It has restored a sense of calmness within me. I hope it stays with me even when I go back to hectic Singapore, joining the rat race yet again.

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it." — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia)

.::. Back .::.

I've finally settled down back 'home'.

After arriving on Saturday morning, I went on a train to Kiruna in the afternoon. This is the third time I've booked tickets there and there are always people who can't make it in the end, so I went alone. It took me abit of courage and determination, but I reckon it was like a self-discovery trip or birthday present for myself. Afterall, I have been wanting to visit the ice-hotel for years. It is a 20 hour train ride. After spending 3 days there, I took the train back and arrived yesterday afternoon.

I've been reading and thinking quite abit these days. I'm tired, but happy. =)

My first lesson is in a few hours time and I guess things will get busy real soon. I've lots of readings to do the next 6 weeks. Meanwhile, I need to do laundry desperately tomorrow and go to the supermarket to get some food. Beginning of the semester also means lots of administrative stuff to be done and bills to be paid.

I'm ready!

.::. Last days .::.

My last days in Singapore was rather hectic. Lots of meetups, food, spending time with the boyfriend and getting stuff done...



I got a new haircut and hair colour. I'm almost a blond now. Turned out alittle too golden for my liking, though I don't really mind. Afterall I'm in Sweden, the land of platinum blondes. Nobody will bother about my hair colour! I think this will be the last 6 months I have such light hair colour since I'll probably dye it a darker colour when I start working.

Had dinner at 126 sometime last week. Dim sum. *yums.

There's also my favourite beancurd at Geylang Lor 39. *loves!

Attended my brother's graduation from his airforce school course too.

It's freezing here and I'm so homesick.

*sigh. I must enjoy the next 6 months. 19 weeks before I can see the boyfriend again.

.::. Braces .::.

I chanced upon the CD which my orthodontist gave me after I took off my braces. Amidst the rush of preparing for Sweden, taking off my braces and packing, I actually did not have time to check out the pictures.

Braces cost me a Europe trip over about 14 months. I'm lucky, I did not need to extract any teeth because I have 3 less teeth than normal people anyway. This meant that I had lots of space and gaps in between my teeth and a bad overbite problem. In addition to that, I still have one more baby teeth because I do not have adult teeth to replace that particular tooth. It isn't a good thing since baby teeth is less strong and decays easily!



Before. It wasn't that bad, but I hated the gaps which traps lots of food and the bad overbite problem.

After. No more overbite problem, no more gaps. Hello, neat teeth!

Before.

After.

I love my neat teeth though I have to wear retainers every night to make sure they don't shift.

The best thing which came out of braces is how I am so much more conscious about oral hygiene. I used to be very lazy when it came to brushing teeth as a child. I didn't really care about my teeth. There was once when I had a toothache as my wisdom teeth was coming out, and it just suddenly hit me that I wanted to do something for my teeth. I don't think I will ever have the courage to have plastic surgery or do anything to my face, so the best thing I could do for myself is to have neat teeth and a nice smile.

It kickstarted my braces journey and I went to the dentist every 3 weeks or so, paying for it through my mearge monthly pay. I'm really glad I had the courage to go through it though, especially for someone who's terrified of the dentist. I don't exactly think that my face-shape changed for the better at all, I even prefer my pre-braces face shape. But well...

I still love my neat teeth, and I'll make sure it stays neat that way!