.::. The Honeymoon - Part 2 .::.

January is coming to an end and I'm still not done with the honeymoon post a year before! I've been really caught up with everything and there's so much going on. The husband flew to Germany for work, missing our 'wedding anniversary' (the traditional one that we've decided not to celebrate) and my birthday. Ironically, we flew to Europe exactly a year before too.

Continuing on the honeymoon...

We took a train to visit Liverpool and followed their tour, having fun taking pictures inside the stadium and changing rooms. I've to say that Liverpool's stadium is really rundown, in a rundown area! It's the husband's favorite club though, he's perpetually on their forum. Ok, enough about Liverpool.



Then we rushed to Manchester for the FA Cup match against Fulham. Sadly, because there was a match, we couldn't go for the tour. I didn't get anything, because I was worried that I may be seated at Fulham side. I totally didn't check and just bought whatever tickets I could from their site (on hindsight, it must be their side since I bought it from their site!).

It was exhilarating! Everyone was chanting and cheering. I mean, you can see hoards of people in red enroute. I used to watch soccer with my dad since 1998. Manchester United won the treble in 1999, and I still can't forget the brilliant play then. I've been a fan since, though I've got to say Moyes suck.



Everyone goes to the back for beers and snack during half-time. And the amazing thing is how quickly they empty the stadium! It took like 15 minutes and by the time we wanted to take pictures with our tripod, they were shoo-ing us out, saying that the doors will be closed soon. It was also the most crowded train-ride ever in Europe, trying to get out of the area.

We stayed another night in Birmingham before heading to Paris by train. Paris was on the agenda because I made a mistake on our last trip and planned on visiting Lovure on its rest day (Lovure does not close on Monday like all other museums!). I promised to bring him back to Lovure again. I really don't mind, because it's my favorite museum and I really wouldn't mind spending days in there.



It was a beautiful day with blue skies, but it was cold!



Here's an artsy-fartsy shot of the husband that I like very much.

And we took a picture with Mona Lisa. The museum was beautiful and I took quite a few pictures. I suppose that could be another post altogether. Someday!

We took a break from the museum and walked to a nearby Italian restaurant for lunch. It was supposedly famous and served very yummy pasta. It was so cold, the warm noodles tasted so good.

And we did the touristy stuff like walking along Champs Elysse and checking the Eiffel Tower out. I love Paris (just like how I love many other cities). I love it when it's so cold, we were walking along the streets hand-in-hand, then stopped to get some hot chocolate and just soak in the atmosphere. Paris is, well, Paris. Overrated? Maybe. But that depends on how it was rated! 

Arc de Triomphe is the most memorable for us, because the husband brought me walk around it for almost an hour during the previous trip. I wanted to bring him to Eiffel Tower the way I've been before, but he insisted on leading with a map in hand. After walking for 40 minutes, there's still no sight of Eiffel Tower (it's a 15-20 minute walk), but instead Arc de Triomphe was sighted again. We've spent an hour walking ROUND and round. You'll see what I mean if you look at the Paris map.

He brought me for dinner, to celebrate my birthday. No cake, but great company and very good food. It's slightly pricey, though not that much more than a good restaurant in Singapore. I'm a happy girl.

The only regret on the Paris leg of this trip is not being able to meet up with Manue, my french baking buddy from my year in Sweden. We arranged to meet, but she mixed up the date and was only coming by train from Toulouse on the day we were leaving Paris for Switzerland. We did change our train tickets later just so we could meet up with her over lunch, but she decided to cancel her trip instead since she'll be alone in Paris for the rest of the day. =(

Our honeymoon continues in Switzerland and lots of scenic train rides and snow.

.::. The Honeymoon - Part I .::.

I know, it's been a year, but late is better than never. It really doesn't feel that long ago.

The year started with the wedding on 19th January' 2013. It was crazy like all weddings are, even though we're really extremely chill and my parents did not ask for anything. I really had to stay very detached and not think about how I felt about what people said nor thought, and simply focus on what had to be done. I refused to think nor talk about it to anyone. Those are not pleasant memories that I'd like to remember, and regretfully, weddings ain't every girl's happiest day in their life. I know the husband had tried his best and have given me all he could. For that, I'm really thankful. Afterall, a wedding is a day and a marriage is for a lifetime - so the guy matters so much more!

The wedding was so near by birthday, and I totally forgot about it. The night before the wedding, just when I was staying home, preparing and packing, the neighbors suddenly turned up with a cake. It was really sweet and unexpected, making me so touched. The husband was out, doing up the wedding car, and did not join us. It was those neighborhood bakery kinda cake, the kind which you had as a child.

Here I was, looking horrid with zero makeup, flat hair and eye bags from lack of sleep.

The wedding went without a hitch, thanks to the girls who simply prepared everything and chased me over the weeks to get things done. I think the day just passed me by, I didn't know what was happening half the time. It's like I'm still detached, holding my breath. This picture was so strange, because my parents never were the expressive sort. When the photographer asked my parents to kiss me, it was an extremely awkward moment. My parents have brought me up well, and I hope that they can worry less about me now that I've found my partner in life. I think I'll be fine, come what may.

Here's both of us on the flight, relieved that the wedding went smoothly. Our flight was at 9.30pm, Saturday. We had to fly the same night, because the husband had to attend a course for work that started on Monday. Both of us barely slept the night before and barely had much to eat. By the time we made it back to our hotel room, it was already 5pm. We had to leave for the airport by 7.30pm and had to pack all the wedding stuff to be sent back. I only had time for a bath and grab some food before we laced up and grabbed out backpacks for the honeymoon. We did have some time to gobble up some noodles before we got on the plane though, we were famished!



It was an extremely long journey that took us 24 hours. Here's the husband walking in the snow and trying to find the way with a tiny map in his phone. I swear I was half-dead by the time I made it there. We transited in Dubai to reach London. Then, we took a 3.5hr bus ride to Birmingham. Then, walked in the snow to take a train to the school. The train was delayed for 40mins. We then had to walk in the snow for almost 30mins to find the 'hotel' in the campus. I was really tired by then, and some bratty kids started throwing snow balls at us! I was furious and annoyed. They scrambled away when I screamed at them, telling them that I'll take their pictures and send them to the school.

It was so cold, and I was so tired. I practically changed into my PJs and dived into the warm bed. The poor husband had to go straight to orientation class! He came back to wake me up for pizza with his course mates and professor. A tad strange, but I was too tired and hungry to care if I looked horrible with my bed-hair. And for the record, the pizza was horrible, bought nearby in the campus and made by students.




These are the view from the 'hotel' in the school. It's called Lucas House I think. We moved rooms after a night as the toilet was leaking. Birmingham isn't usually covered in snow, I heard. We were there for a week and that was the only week that it was covered in snow. =_="

The husband went for classes Monday to Friday, and I occupied myself. I went shopping in Birmingham town center on Monday, because I FORGOT TO BRING ANY JEANS WITH ME FOR THE TRIP. It's ridiculous! I only had a pair of comfortable cotton leggings that I wore for the plane ride and realized the I left my jeans at home. The same happened during the ROM when I forgot to pack any pants (just tops) and had to walk around Marina Bay Sands in my gown to find a shop that sells not-too-expensive-like-g-star-kinda-pants.

I had to walk 20 minutes (in the snow) to reach the university train station where I take a 15 minute train ride to the town center. It felt so far.

Birmingham was a pretty town.

And I did what I used to do a lot during my days in Sweden. I bought a hot coffee and sat there, watching the world go by. I wasn't in a hurry and had nothing much to do. I loved that feeling, something which I don't have the luxury of these days. I love being alone and having such personal time to connect with myself and reflect on life. I feel at peace and blessed.

I did get myself some jeans and some necessities for both of us. I had Jamie's Italian by the way, and it was horrible. The truffle fries was alright. But the pasta was an ultimate disappointment. It was barely warm and the noodles were sticking together - how can that happen in an Italian restaurant?! I've never had pasta sticking together at any restaurants, not even Ikea!

I love Europe. I made plans to head to London myself the following day, checking out tickets and all. It wasn't that cheap, about 2.5 hours from Birmingham. But because I didn't start my day that early and didn't want to get back too late, I didn't have that much time in London.

I went straight to Borough Market and had some good-old fish and chips in a typical english pub, finished with a beer!

Then I did some sightseeing, strolling along the river and visiting Big Ben. I love that area and just strolling. It was cold and windy, but I like it.

I then went hunting for the Victoria Secret shop (it wasn't cheap, much more expensive than online from USA) and then shopping along Oxford's - Zara and Primark was cheap! 

The day ended with a grabbing a soup at Four Seasons and da-bao-ing the famous duck from London to Birmingham to share with the husband. 

It was bitterly cold that night in Birmingham and almost 9pm when I got back to the room. The duck was cold despite my best efforts to keep it warm by wrapping it with my scarf. The husband was complaining about how they only have cold food like sandwiches and salad in the canteen. We ate on the bed, he was grumpy.

It was my birthday on Wednesday. He had a course dinner and the coordinator was nice enough to invite me along since she knew I tagged along after the wedding. It kinda sucked, but there wasn't anywhere else I'd like to be but with the husband on my birthday, on my honeymoon!

So I stayed in and explored the campus, taking lots of photos of the winter wonderland. I ate cold duck and fried rice for lunch with students exclaiming with envy at my food through the window (we stayed in the ground floor room and I was admiring the falling snow - I could hear them!). I spent the afternoon planning the rest of our trip, booking hotels and checking transport options. Most importantly, I managed to get us tickets to catch a Manchester United match at Old Trafford! I was so excited (to my husband's dismay) to get tickets. It was surreal and I was all ready for our real honeymoon.

The dinner wasn't that fantastic. I mean how fun can a formal master course dinner be, with tables of engineers? It was snowing heavily and very cold, I didn't have anything nice to wear. The very kind course coordinator picked us up in a london cab as it was a 15 minute walk - in the snow. That was how I celebrated my 27th birthday on my honeymoon. I think I should be given credit for not making a fuss nor making the husband feel (too) guilty about it. =p


Thursday. I went to Cambridge. I thought I had 2 days - to visit Cambridge and Bath. But I realized that I'm left with one day as the husband finishes his course on Friday afternoon. It was a long 3 hour train ride from Birmingham central (after the 20 minute walk in the snow and 15 minute train ride). I almost didn't make it to Cambridge. When I was at the university train station, there was this paper pasted on the ticketing machine, saying that it's out of order and trains are not running. It was scribbled using a pen. I heard trains downstairs and saw some people on the platform. I then tried to press the touch-screen of the machine, and it worked. It struck me that perhaps someone played a prank? I happily tore that notice out and tried to by a ticket. The next moment, this frumpy woman came and screamed at me, asking me to read the notice (as if I can't read English) and pasted it right back. I wasn't able to buy tickets and she insisted that trains weren't running and I can't get to Birmingham Central. Rudely, I've to add.

Well, I only had one day which I could go and I really wanted to go. Out of desperation, I slipped through the open gates and went to the platform. People were standing around and a train pulled up shortly! I made it to Birmingham Central.

I had another problem when I arrived. I had no ticket. They don't always check tickets at the entrance and most of the time, people can walk in and out. But I was so unlucky, with lots of people queuing to pay the fine. I did something bad - I used a used ticket and flashed it to them nonchalantly. They let me pass without checking. *phew! It's not that I do not want to pay but I really didn't have much time to get the train tickets to Cambridge. I wanted to catch the walking tour badly and couldn't miss the train.

I made it on the train, and even had time to get a coffee. I took a cab to reach the tour office of the walking tour as I had barely 10 minutes before the start of the tour. Sadly, I missed it - the timing was different from what was stipulated on the guide book. =( I had no choice walk around myself and go on the punting tour instead.


Cambridge was really beautiful. I loved the ceilings of the church.











It was really cold, and I didn't have time to eat. I barely had time to run around the main sights before making my way to the punting tour. It started at 3pm and ended at 4pm. I was sitting on the boat with an empty stomach, in the cold.

By the time I was done with the tour, I was really famished and feeling cold and weak. I had to get some food.

I finally found a cafe and had hot tea and curry chicken rice. A very strange choice I know, but it was so good for a cold and hungry person.

I ate to this view! Again, feeling blessed. I got to walk around and visited their bookstore before having to make it back to the train station. During adventures like this, I'm constantly alert, planning my next step and being afraid, not sure if I can pull it off. It was a good 20 minutes walk to the train station in the dark, and I had to ask for directions quite a few times.

Cambridge has so many stories. It's such a heritage-rich place to study at, a chance that I'll never get I suppose. Oh well.

I stayed in on Friday and waited for the husband to finish his class before visiting Birmingham Central together. It was almost evening by the time he finished. I checked out postage for his course notes (not possible to backpack with it for 2 weeks), and we went to settle it before going for dinner. Dinner was nice, at this glass restaurant, overlooking the church in Birmingham.

Most importantly, his course has finally ended and our honeymoon is starting officially! We were still staying at the university till checkout on Sunday, but Saturday was Manchester United and Liverpool day!



Here's us on Saturday morning, with an obligatory photo with the university before we head to Liverpool!

This is taking longer than I thought and it's already past midnight. I think it's going to take quite a few parts.

to be continued...

.::. 2014 Resolutions .::.

2013

It has been a great year on many counts. After getting over with the wedding and honeymoon, we finally paid off our installments for our home appliances and whatever debts we had. We’ve finally settled into our new home and recovered financially. Both of us are doing great at work and saving up for a family. There’s not much to complain about really. Life has been kind. Compared to the upheavals and all that drama in 2011/2012, 2013 has indeed been a peaceful and great year where everything started to get back on track.

2014 Resolutions

1.       To stay healthy and fit.

Health is wealth! It’s something which I try to do as much as possible, although not as much as I’d like. I do believe that exercise is essential to be healthy and I feel sluggish without exercise. I’ve been cooking a lot in 2013 and have tried to incorporate whole grains and complex carbs into my diet although the husband is not a fan. He practically refuses to eat rice mixed with brown rice, so my mission to switch to brown rice has failed miserably. He complains about the quinoa that I mix into rice too, but at least he eats it anyway. He doesn’t seem to mind whole wheat bread for breakfast though. I pack lunch to eat in the office, and they are mostly quite healthy but I ain’t too disciplined when eating out or during gatherings. I struggle with portion control because I’m always hungry. It’s so easy to fall off the wagon and stop exercising for weeks when I’m really busy and tired. I suppose I should try to be more consistent and disciplined in the coming year!

2.       Creating passive income

Although I’m sashing a good portion of my earnings somewhere where I can’t see nor spend, I’m beginning to become acutely aware that time is running out and I need to start saving and investing more to build up my retirement funds, or even better, a constant flow of passive income. There’s so much to read up and learn and plan. It’s time to spend more time and get this done, including doing more reading and research. First thing first, to spend less and save more! I was quite inspired by this blog that I’ve been reading. Step one to creating passive income was to get full-time employment, something which made me see work in a different light.

 http://singaporeanstocksinvestor.blogspot.sg/2010/02/seven-steps-to-creating-passive-income.html

3.       Finish ACCA already!

I’ve 2 more papers left! I’ve enrolled for classes and exams in June, and I’m hoping that I get this out of the way by June. Worst case scenario is to finish it by December if I fail any of the papers. *makes a mental note to study harder right from the beginning* On a side note, I’m thinking of going back to master Japanese or take CPSM to upgrade my skillset for work after I’m done with ACCA. The husband’s reaction was – huh?! still want to study?! Oh, and I’ve been wanting to learn violin!

Somehow, I can’t seem to idle.

Studies have proven that the human could not multi-task effectively and should only focus on a few goals at one time. I shall focus on these 3 goals and get them done in the new year ahead!

The forecast for next year is supposed to be great for Oxen! To another great year ahead ~

.::. Our 9th Anniversary & 2nd Wedding Anniversary .::.

It was our 9^th anniversary 2 weeks back, also our 2^nd wedding anniversary and 12 years since we got to know each other. We went back to Morton’s for dinner as usual, our 4^th time there. We love their steak and the onion loaf, the service and free photo for memento and warm chocolate cake. I love how they print you a customized menu with your name and occasion on it, and serve their signature warm chocolate cake to celebrate your occasion. For some reason, the steak didn't taste as nice this visit.

He hand-made this beautiful frame for our bedroom. I had no clue when he did it though we're living together, perhaps when I was on my work trip. I'm ashamed to say that I haven't handmade anything for quite some time, and my lousy excuse is I do not have time and have run out of ideas over the years. I struggle to even think of gifts to get him these days, simply because he doesn't need nor want anything.

It’s amazing and surreal. It’s been 9 years. 9 years sound like a very long time.  We went through our teenage years, his army days, university days, working life. It’s unbelievable how time goes by and here we are, 2 grown adults, married with a home to call our own. I’m really grateful, for not everyone could find someone to trust and to rely on even searching for a whole lifetime, yet we found each other so early in life.

Love to me means many things over the years. Some things have changed and evolved, and it’s no longer that heart-fluttering kind of romance. Sometimes love means sacrifice and swallowing some things which you would never have done if not to protect someone you love. And more often than not, love means trying not to hurt them because that will hurt you even more.

After living together for the past year, we haven’t encountered much issues. Occasionally I grumble about how he doesn’t seem notice the mess at home, or simply find the lazy easy way out. Like that day, when he took out Chikey’s bed and floor mats that were dripping wet from the washer (due to some error with the washer). He simply hung all of them up, dripping wet, without trying to squeeze them dry. He did put some pails to ‘catch’ the water, but I woke up to a huge puddle of water in the yard and everything was still really wet when I came home in the evening. I had to wash them again and mop the floor. Other days, I notice that he does things for our home when I’m not around, things like changing light bulbs and our TV connector, cleaning the ceiling fan. When I’m sick he cooks porridge for me and when I was mugging my life away he bought me food. Sometimes he’s really thoughtful, and I’m most happy when both of us get busy cleaning up the home together, laughing and complaining away.

What I cherish the most is how he truly loves me for who I am and support me in achieving all my goals instead of trying to change or suffocate me with boundaries. He never held me back, he helped me to think through my choices and to go further. That was something I learnt from him early in the relationship, something that I’m trying really hard to give him. During those early years, we quarreled. There were times that I got really angry with him and I never ever minced my words, I always said exactly what I thought. He always avoided conflict and kept quiet, but I recognize his anger. He would look away and blink a lot, press his lips together as if to stop himself from saying things he will regret and had a really stiff stance. It was pointless going on and trying to get any response from him, because he simply clamp up. I slowly learnt that and made myself leave when that happens. It made me mad, because I always preferred to trash things out and know what each other thoughts were. There was once, when he sounded really hurt. He told me that he wished that I could love him for who he is. I took heart, I reflected, and since then, tried really hard to give him what he has given me – unconditional love. 

These days, even when we get angry with each other, things usually get back to normal after a night’s sleep. Nothing much is important enough for us to waste a day’s happiness together. When I got angry, his way of appeasing me was to buy breakfast the next day as I slept in and all's forgotten. We don’t nag each other much, and there’s little negativity at home, which makes home a very comfortable and peaceful place. I really hope that our home will always stay this warm and happy, even when kids come along. I grew up with a lot of negativity at home, and was a very unhappy child. We were brought up comfortably and I know my parents have given their best, but someone was always unhappy and screaming. Everyone loved me, but perhaps it’s simply family culture, and I struggled to manage all that negativity. I never felt unconditional love, part of me never felt good enough and it always felt like I had to earn that love with good results and behavior. The husband, having grew up in a very different environment, longed for peaceful and a happy home too. And a happy home is what both of us will work really hard to protect.

他们都说最幸福的事就是每天一张开眼就能看到最心爱的人在身边。那是我这一年来最幸福的事。 这辈子就手牵手一起走咯。

.::. Already December?! .::.

I'm finally back. The past few weeks have been hectic, filled with work travels and a crazy workload. I spent the last week studying mugging for exams as if my life depended on it. It's bad, this last-minute studying thing. I suppose age is catching up and one simply can't cramp in as much as you used to nor write as much as you used to. I ended up feeling really overwhelmed and nearing desperation with a strained wrist that hurts. Thankfully it's over and I'm crossing my fingers to pass that paper. I'm so going to start studying for the June exams already.

After diving into getting everything done and ignoring everything else, I now realize that it's already mid-December. I have not gotten any Christmas shopping done. I feel like me myself needs a few presents. I used to like Christmas and celebrations, but I actually dread it now. I don't look forward to being preached to yet again and there's just simply a lot to do and prepare. I wonder if such festive seasons are for people with lots of time to actually enjoy doing Christmas shopping early (avoiding the crazy crowds) and having all the time to soak in the atmosphere. I'm just feeling overwhelmed and wished I had more time to do more for the people who matters.

December is also a very special time. We will be celebrating our 9th anniversary next week. *gasp* I've no idea where all the time went to, but we've spend 9 years together as a couple. December is also when I take stock of my year and plan what I'd like to accomplish the year ahead. Time is ticking by so quickly. I already have 7 weddings to attend in 2014 and have not found a time-slot for my annual holidays. I really feel like I need an adventure and to get lost somewhere.

This year was great, next year will be even better! =)

If you won't be better tomorrow than today, then why do you need tomorrow for? 

.::. My Loves .::.

I was clearing my iPhone album, and found this picture of us in the snow. It was taken during our honeymoon. We were in Switzerland and have just checked out of an attic room with slanted ceiling in a little quaint 'hotel'. We were walking to the train station in the snow to catch a train (and bus) to Munich to meet Alex and Julia. It was snowing, both of us were walking on snow-covered cobblestones and walked past a school with children playing with snow outside. He asked me to take a picture of us together, because we never had a picture together while it was snowing. I was in my thick jacket with a heavy backpack and didn't want to take out my DSLR, so i whipped out my trusty iPhone instead, to snap a picture of us using the lousy front camera. We were happy then, and then the train got delayed and all. I still remember that moment so vividly.

That's why I love photos - they tell stories.

Which reminds me, I've been wanting to write about our honeymoon! That was in January and it's already November. =/ *mental note to get it done before the year ends* I think our backpacking trips around Europe have been the most memorable ones for me, but the husband thinks it's Nepal - because, well, how can we forget how we puke and sh*t and seen the worst of each other on the trip?

The other love of my life is definitely Chikey (and Chinook). Chikey is so loving these days, loving to cuddle and wanting to lie on me all the time.

I cut his nails that day, and one nail bled. The husband wasn't too happy with me, and it was one of the rare times when I let him on the bed (he just had a bath) and cuddle him to keep him off his feet till the bleeding stopped.

Other days he simply jump at you on the sofa till you carry him on your lap. He's a warm ball of fur.

Other days, he just simply look cute and keep coming to me while I'm in bed.

And when I'm studying, he keeps me company by sleeping.

And here's 2 of my loves.

I love this picture, snapped one night when the husband carried Chikey up the bed just before he's going to sleep. He doesn't think it's nice, but I love it. =)

Life's so short, and sometimes, the best things in life are these simplest moments.

.::. Herbal Black Chicken Soup .::.

Today is one of those days when I feel like work has sucked all my energy from me and there's nothing left in me. Perhaps it's PMS, or maybe it's been a stressful period trying to juggle everything, but I simply feel so spent.

Luckily, there was herbal black chicken soup at home waiting for me on a rainy evening. I cooked it since morning in the slow cooker.

And...it's yummy! I bought the herbs individually instead of buying those ready-packed ones. It tastes a lot nicer. There's quite a few versions of 'herbal black chicken soup', but I used the most common one. Black chicken soup is supposedly very nourishing and good for the body.

These are what I used with one small black chicken:

Chinese dates or red jujube - 红枣 (3-5 depending on size)

Chinese wolfberries or goji berries - 枸杞子 (a few teaspoons)

Polygonatum odoratum - 玉竹 (about half a palm-full)

Astragalus propinquus - 北芪 (3-4 pieces)

Angelica sinensis - 当归 (2-4 pieces)

Codonopsitis Pilosulae - 党参 (2-3 long sticks)

Dioscoreae Oppositae - 淮山 (about 3 stripes)

I simply threw a whole black chicken and all the herbs in the slow cooker and put the pot in the fridge. Just fill the pot with water in the morning before leaving house and on the slow cooker at low. By evening, the chicken would have been very soft and the soup yummy. I add in the red dates/wolfberries and a pinch of salt to taste when I'm back in the evening. You can add those chinese mushrooms, ginger slices or fresh wild chinese yam (淮山). Other variations includes things like white fungus, dried longan, peanuts/black beans, cordyceps, ginseng and even scallops.

This soup makes a simple and nourishing meal and is extremely simple to cook! I usually throw in some noodles - it goes well with rice too. And if you're too lazy to buy every herb individually, the packet ones will do too, though it doesn't taste as good. =)

.::. Get Moving .::.

The husband has been away for reservice and it's during times like that when I enjoy my me-time and to visit the gym more often instead of feeling guilty that I'm not home cooking for him or having dinner together. I still love my kickboxing classes and Zumba was surprisingly demanding!

It's also when he's away that I do my shopping.

The new outlet at Suntec is huge, so is the relatively new outlet at Harbor Front.

 

I keep a ready supply of frozen vegetables in the fridge. Did you know that many studies have shown that frozen vegetables contains more vitamins than 'fresh' vegetables which are actually not that fresh? I love the Bird Eye's green beans and because I dislike peas, I never do get the mixed vegetables. They are surprisingly sweet and I usually stir-fry them with some olive oil, a sprinkle of salt and some oregano.

My idea of a yummy but relatively healthy meal. Black pepper chicken chop with stir-fry vegetables topped with an egg.

And this is what I pack for lunch very often. I pack my lunch to office daily and usually pan-fry a fish or chicken seasoned lightly with a pinch of salt and spices with stir-fry vegetables and fresh white button mushrooms (my favorite).

I've been a lot more conscious with my diet although I still indulge during weekends and sometimes dinner because I have dinner with my eat-whatever-no-exercise-but-still-stay-skinny husband. I try to eat as clean as possible when I'm alone and get some exercise consistently.

Not easy to stay in shape, but let's get moving.

.::. Buying from Taobao II .::.

I wrote about Buying from Taobao some time back, and would like to add a few points since my PRC colleagues have been giving me lots of tips and pointers. I bought quite a few items from Taobao, not fully aware of discerning the quality of sellers. I was lucky that most of the stuff I got was pretty decent, but I've read of many who are disappointed with their purchases too.

According to them, the Chinese themselves buy extensively from Taobao - from fashion, to food, to air tickets and hotels. They take ratings and comments very seriously. Most of them only buy from top rated sellers and look at the comments.

How to know if sellers are good without having to read through many chinese comments? How to choose good sellers?

The short cut is to look at the seller's rating, which is accumulated over time and many reviews. The highest rating is "crowns" where you see lots of glittering crowns right below the seller's name. The maximum number of crowns should be 5 and any seller with crowns should be generally safe to buy from. The level before crowns are diamonds. The maximum number of diamonds is also 5 and will upgrade to one crown after 5 diamonds. The starting level should be stars.

These was what the Chinese themselves shared, and it was new to me, so I thought that I should share it with everyone else. They've been showing me how to buy authentic ZARA and branded apparels which are sold by factories directly though Taobao among many other things. *gasp* I've yet to try though I'm tempted to.

There's now Taobao Southeast Asia and it seems possible for us to buy directly from Taobao through an account with Alipay. I still haven't figured out how it works and still enjoy the convenience of buying through daigou65 who will settle my order and ship them over. I'm not quite sure how the shipping fees is if we buy direct from sellers and get them to arrange shipment - you may save the 5-7% commission but have to liase with sellers directly (in chinese!) and the shipment fee might be more expensive (as daigou has preferential rates and ship in bulk).

Will update again if I find out something new. =)

.::. Towards 'Success' .::.

I’ve been thinking a lot, about life in general and what I want out of life. You know how things get more and more complicated as you grow up? It’s like how I teach my tuitee addition and subtraction in primary school where there’s no negative numbers. Yet after a few years, I start teaching them addition and subtraction with negative numbers. I remembered how it felt like my world shifted when I realized that negative numbers exist. It’s just like the many other things in life that changes as our perspective and cognitive depth changed.

Life and success used to be one direct route for me, and perhaps many Asians. It’s always the traditional study hard, get good results and find a good job so that you can earn enough and start a family. That’s the kind of mindset I was brought up with – that success in life is seemingly a one-way street. I don’t think my parents would have taken it well if I took the unconventional way. Junior Colleges were preferred over Polytechnics – which resulted in 2 years of misery in my study life. I always wonder how I would have turned out if I pursued Mass Communications in a polytechnic instead of heading to Junior College. I suppose I would have landed myself in a job that I liked a lot more, albeit getting paid less.

My perspective changed that year when I took my Masters’ in Sweden. I suppose that’s what exposure does to you, opening up your mind into many different possibilities and perspectives. I love myself a lot more, gained a lot more confidence and sorted many things out. You suddenly realized that there are so many possibilities and people could be happy and fulfilled doing different things (without pursuing financial security and abundance). You don’t have to be married to be happy, neither do you need a high-paying job or car or house to be successful. Those people and things that used to bother you becomes so insignificant when you look at life as a big picture. It’s hard to describe, but they represented freedom – being free to do what they liked without being bounded by conservative societal norms.

I think the previous generation’s idea of success is financial freedom. It doesn’t matter that you liked your job or not, as long as it paid the bills. This, coming from their childhood where poverty were rampant and financial security generally meant success.

So here I am, somewhere around my quarter-life crisis and still searching for what I want in life and what success means to me. I don’t want a ‘secured’ job with a good income every month when I don’t feel fulfilled by what I do for 8 hours daily. I don’t want to be in the rat race with all the superficialities and unspoken rules in the corporate world. I don’t want to spend all my life dreading Monday and getting up to work every morning, hoping that life could pass by quickly and I can ‘get there’. My dad's advice is still to 'climb higher', but putting life in that narrow perspective makes me feel so trapped. Life is afterall, a journey and everything is transient. I'm learning and conditioning myself to be happy with less material needs these days.

I'm contented with what I have now although I'm still searching. No, I'm not ready for kids yet and I still think that my life ‘is pretty much over’ when I have kids (at least for a decade or so). I think young working mums would agree, while older mums who has been through it all have forgotten how it was like or find such self-sacrifice essential. Like it or not, children suck up all your time and energy and sacrifices have to be made. As much as I love children, I think I’m not ready yet and I should be thankful that the husband wants to wait. I don’t doubt that children will be fulfilling, but it’s like…getting a bikini body – you know it’ll be worth it when you look that great but you just don’t feel like putting in that effort and sacrifices to get there, yet.

This describes my state of mind at this point in life:

Success to me is not about money or status or fame. It’s about finding a livelihood that brings joy and self-sufficiency and a sense of contributing to the world.
-          Anita Roddick, founder of The Body Shop

.::.What is the point of marriage? .::.

"結婚，到底是為了什麼" 越來越多的男人討不到老婆 因為越來越多女人不想結婚 女人說： 我想偶爾跟朋友出去，不想失去單身的自由; 我想高興吃什麼就吃什麼，不想變成理所當然的煮飯婆; 我想花錢打扮自己讓自己開心，不想每天想著要怎麼省來貼補家用; 我想當媽媽永遠的心肝寶貝，不想提心吊膽不知道婆婆什麼時候會嫌我; 我想當永遠的情人，不想在努力當個好老婆時，還要當老公的另一個媽。 

男人說： 結了婚，當然要以家庭為重，不能老是往外跑; 結了婚，當然要入得了廚房，洗手做羹湯; 結了婚，當然要為兩人的未來打拼，分擔家計; 結了婚，當然要把我的家人當作你的家人一樣; 結了婚，當然要做好老婆的本份 - 照顧好老公， 所以女人不懂... 

那我結婚到底是為了什麼？ 

我愛你跟你說過的愛我一樣多， 可是結了婚，我卻要改變那麼多只為了當你的老婆， 我只能有你這一個朋友，還要當個抓住你的胃的煮飯婆， 你有工作，不一定會養我，只因為我也有自己的工作， 你娶了我只是身邊多一個人，我嫁給你身邊卻是多了一家子人， 你們都過著習慣的生活，我卻要捨棄我習慣過的生活。 

但是男人也抱怨： 為了娶老婆我也是很辛苦， 我要有車子，要養房子，還要準備聘金還有鑽石戒指， 我省吃儉用一輩子，為了娶老婆還要一直減少存款數字， 況且當人家老婆，本來就是這個樣子， 要認命的持家，還要相夫教子...... 因為雙方都這麼辛苦， 所以越來越多女人不想結婚。 既可以讓男人保有存款數字， 也不會讓女人變成像是花錢請來的保姆， 所以男人啊，當你有天想問女人為什麼不想結婚時， 請先幫女人想想，跟你結婚有什麼好的呢？ 

女人因為婚姻 得拋下自己的父母，來照顧男人的父母。 但男人不用 女人因為婚姻 得挺個又重又大的球十個月， 只為了替男人生下一個跟男人姓的下一代; 還得承受生完小孩後的體質變差，身材變形的後遺症， 但男人不用 女人因為婚姻 得放棄一卡車追求他的好男人， 並埋沒了最美的青春; 但男人卻不為青春所懼，反而愈老愈值錢 女人因為婚姻 得放棄父母給她二十多年的姓， 被冠上某某'太太'二字; 但男人沒變。 女人因為婚姻 得早上上班，晚上煮飯做家事帶小孩， 有工作也有家事的壓力; 但男人沒差，反而多了個賺錢的人和不用給薪的女傭。 女人因為婚姻 得去適應一個完全不同的家庭和面對男人的親友團批評， 女人如果試圖尋求男人的保護時， 換來的是...男人不僅沒有保護他的女人， 反而一起落井下石...在一個女人孤力無援的環境裡。 

男人啊 若在您的身邊有這樣的一個傻女人時， 請當她的笨男人，好好的珍惜她，照顧她吧 別忘了，她不是天生就該來照顧你們全家大小的， 而是因為她愛你...... 她受傷的時候，好好傾聽她，支持她，保護她，為她拭淚， 她就會感動一輩子。 

Came across this article numerous times and it sends me into deep thought about marriage and what it means for a woman. Marriage used to be very much about security as women had to rely on men for the bacon among other things. Women nowadays contribute to the household finances equally, are independent and educated, but are still expected to play the many traditional roles. 

Many-a-times, women go through immense pressure while having to move in with in-laws and live under intense scrutiny. Things get worse when children comes along and most of the time, women have to swallow it all down and endure whatever rude comments that's being thrown at them. It seems like women is always at the losing end.

What is the point of marriage?

Marry only if you're very sure you've found the right one! Many have asked me, how do you know it's 'right'? 

You will know when the time comes. You may not know if it may last forever, but you will know that he's the right one whom you want to do this with.

Men, be nice to your wife and realize how much she has to give up for you. Some appreciation goes a long way. There's a saying that goes happy wife, happy family. An unhappy and bitter wife will bring all her unhappiness into the family.   

.::. Our Dream Home .::.

So it's been a year since we've moved in and I've finally found the time to do up a before-after and completed pictures of our dream home. It's been a long journey for us, and unlike most couples, being able to buy a HDB flat and building our love nest from scratch and finally getting hitched after dating since teenagers has been a very challenging task in so many ways. Those who has been following my renovation journey would have had a glimpse of the pain we had. Perhaps that makes it more sweet for us and makes us cherish each other more. And someday, maybe we will look back and laugh at all the horrible stuff that made us stronger.

It has been difficult to make before-after pictures because I realized that I did not take many pictures of the empty house. I mean, everything was white-washed and looked so similar!

Here's the living room.

And here's the kitchen where I spend a lot of time in.

The huge common toilet.

The MBR.

Here's the tiny MBR toilet.

Filling our living room up with things. I love our furniture that cost us an arm and a leg - all solid oak wood.

The cozy living room.

This is newly added and done up almost a year after renovation, after we've recovered financially. I sit here to enjoy the sunset often with music on. I guess it gives more sitting space for guests and makes the bay window more useful than it was.

The Eames lounge chair was also newly added - it was the husband's birthday present. Something that he has been eyeing since before we started renovation. We were too broke to get everything then and he chose to get me my papa chair first.

The huge mirror is also new. The small ikea one warped after like half a year. We got Mr K to customize one for us and it really expands the space visually. It's also supposedly good fengshui.

Here's the dining area where our guests spend most of their time at.

All my favorite things.

View from the entrance. I'm not sure if it's obvious, but the concept was to have 2 similar borders - the entrance one and my bay window one.

I love my open-concept kitchen. The husband can do his stuff on the dining table while I cook and we can still chat and see each other. And no, it's not an issue even though I cook often. I do not deep fry at home and only use very little olive oil for stir-fry though. Smells are also not a problem as the wind comes from either end of the kitchen and gets blown out quickly.

The sideboard is our messy corner where we drop our wallets and coins and letters.

This is our bedroom where we spend most of our time in. The bed was the most expensive piece of furniture at home and I love it! It's a Sealy hotel-series which I fell in love with at Four Seasons Hotel. We wanted to bedroom to be dark (dim-out curtains and grey walls) for sleeping and spacious. We also added a small cupboard on the bay window to block out an awkward small panel of
window. I think it'll be great storage when kids come along, and we actually hardly open the curtains as we like to sleep in the dark.

That about sums up the main areas of our dream home. It's not big really and I already have ideas for another renovation. I love how homes are a blank canvas which you could work your creativity upon and create a space and feel that best suits your taste and lifestyle. At the end of the day, it's the people who live together and whom you love that really matters and makes the home a homely place.

With that, we live in our dream home, happily ever after.

Dreams do come true! All of mine did.

Good luck people! =)

Dining table/sideboard - Commune at Millennia Walk
Papa Bear Chair/Eames Lounge Chair/TV console/Coffee table - Lorgan's the retro store
Sofa/bench/MBR drawers - Star Living
Bed: Sealy (frame from Sealy IMM)
Bedside tables/track lights/pendant lights/dining chairs: Taobao