.::.Unconditional Love.::.

When one loves unconditionally without expecting anything in return, love overflows from within and amazing things happen.

.::.Relationships.::.

Some days, I wonder if ‘happily ever after’ really exists or rather, what are the chances that a relationship can achieve ‘happily ever after’.  How many couples are still happy together after a few decades together?

Looking at many older couples around me, I’m a tad sad to observe that many of them don’t seem to be happy together.  Many seem to stay together for convenience or simply to ‘have a complete family’ among many other ridiculous reasons that may include money.  Many of them do not even sleep together in the same room or bed anymore.  Many can’t stand each other, some don’t talk, some scream at each other often, some put each other down constantly.  Why I wonder?  Why?  How do they live like that?  How can they be happy?

I look at older couples put each other down, from saying hurtful things like ‘You are so fat!’ or ‘You are so uncivilized!’ loudly in public places and infront of their children.  It’s painful to watch, even more painful to not be able to say anything because they are our elders and it’s supposedly rude to speak up against them.  It goes against all my principles to bite my tongue and pretend I don’t notice instead. But it makes me sad, to keep quiet and pretend not to notice.  When you do not speak up against bad behavior, you are actually condoning it and encouraging it.  Yet, for the betterment of everyone (or so I believe for now), I felt like I had to keep quiet and look away.  Knowing myself, I’m not sure how long I can stay silenmt and pretend not to notice nor speak up against such terrible behavior!  I don’t think I can stand being around such negative energy.

How can people be so mean I sometimes wonder?  I'm appalled that even very religious people can be very mean and difficult, despite spending all that time on the teachings that are supposed to make them a better person.  

One simply need a strong moral compass to know what’s right (and wrong) and how to spare a thought for others.

And a mental note to myself, I hope that I will never scream at the husband like that and put him down.  I hope that regardless what happens, we can always be kind to each other and never have to hurt each other with unnecessary words.  I hope that we will never put each other down especially NOT infront of our children. I hope that we can be good role models that our children can look up to and respect.  

Nobody should say such things to others, regardless the circumstances!  Period.

.::. Back to the Grind .::.

It has been a blurry month or two recently.  Ever since the mad rush for quarter-end closing before our Aussie holiday, to the budgeting period once I got back.  Then I fell sick for a good 10 days.  Gosh, the things we take for granted.  You know what’s the happiest things that can happen daily?  It’s having a good night’s sleep and good food for me. I’d be beaming if I had these 2 any day.  No day can actually be bad with these 2 things!

It must have been a very long time since I’m this sick.  After 3 doctor visits, 2 course of antibiotics, at least 1kg of honey, 10 pears with almond drink, 1.5L of Almond Fig soup, I’m finally on the road to recovery.  It’s no joke coughing your lungs out daily, not being able to sleep and totally tire out by coughing itself.  The horrors. 

After so many days of rest, I’m finally back up, starting to exercise again and to tick of some to-do list in preparation for the year-end.

On a side note, Australia was bae, totally exceeded my expectations.  Surprisingly, everyone we met were nice and friendly.  The nature and landscape they have (without overcrowding) was amazing.  I finally see why so many wish to migrate to Australia, even I would consider moving for the weather, nature and fresh food!  We had so much fun this trip, and I think it reignited the wanderlust that has been dormant in me for some time.

Already looking forward to concluding this year and planning the year ahead! =)

.::. A Purposeful Life .::.

It's Teachers' Day again, and I'm always very thankful to receive anything from my students.  It's very difficult to explain the warm fuzzy feeling of satisfaction that I get only from teaching; the feeling I get only from these children that I know I have made an impact on.

I have always wondered why, after to many jobs in the past 15 years, why do teaching still rank top on my list.  During the drive home tonight, I pondered and I think that I might finally have an answer.  Teaching itself is not the most enjoyable thing really, and anyone who has ever tried to teach someone anything will know.  Some days it drains and frustrates me, especially after a long day in the office, but it always pays off.  Apart from knowing that your students really like and appreciate you, I think the most important thing is that children are inherently innocent and straight-forward.  You always know if they are happy or upset, or if they are telling the truth.  However, I realized that the best thing about teaching is that I can truly be myself when I teach.  I am the most honest and sincere when I'm with my students (and their parents).  It's something that truly aligns with my principles and values as a person.  And of course, knowing that you make an impact on someone's life is itself really satisfying.  Every single student that came to me made great improvements.  One of the most memorable moments was when a few of my tuitee saved 20 cents each from their pocket money to buy me a lemon tea from the nearby coffeeshop (because they knew that I like it).  You know that they really like you when they saved their pocket money just to get you something to make you happy.

All these set me thinking yet again.

Recently, a friend said that her son do not really enjoy going to school and prefers to 'nua' at home.  It's partially because the dad is in the property line and is usually 'nua-ing' at home on weekdays, at least that is how the son sees it.  Thus, the son perhaps looks up to his father and naturally wants to mimic him.  In another conversation with a colleague at work, she said that some of her very rich friends continue working simply because they want to lead by example and let their children know that they should work hard in life to get what they want.  They do not want to sit around and let their children know that they can live a good life even without working

These conversations made an impact on me, and made me rethink about quite a few things.  I do believe that the best way to teach your child is to lead by example.  I'm not sure what I might get out of this, but it sure set me thinking.  What values do you want to impart to your children and how do you align yourself with these values?

I think I have more than I ever need, I don't care for power nor title, I don't care to be 'rich' to lead a lavish lifestyle and afford material wants.  I am contented and more than happy with all that I already have, and honestly, I'm not sure if there's anything else that I really want or really matters.  I'm this contented with my life the past 30 years that even if I were to die now, I would die with no regrets.

So, what makes a life worth living?  What makes a purposeful life when at the end of the day nothing really matters, or does it?

.::. Positivity .::.

I started teaching this Primary 6 boy maths early this year. My cousin asked if I wanted to take him up as he was very weak academically and his parents were desperately seeking help. When I started teaching him, he got below 20/100 for his exams. It was truly a stuggle and I suspect that he's slow because he has dyslexia. He was eager to please and adored me. Although we were hopeful for him to pass his CA, he only got 31/100, which was an improvement anyway. By his mid-year exams, he got 57/100 and he's now so much more confident in himself.

I'm preparing him for his prelims now, and I moved his goal up to 70 (from 65) - because I believe that he has room to grow and it's always better to aim for the stars to land on the moon. While looking at his school file today, my heart ache a little upon reading the comments his school teacher made on his work. 'Very poor' appeared many many times, there's also I'm very disappointed with your attitude.' He's a little hyperactive and takes some patience to handle, but he inherently still wants to do better - who doesn't anyway? Teachers should help every child fulfill his best potential and such comments does nothing but hurt a child and makes the lose confidence in themselves. Instead of 'Very poor' why not say 'Try harder'? Instead of saying 'I'm very disappointed' why not say 'I believe you can do better'. No one needs such negativity from anyone and such words doesn't serve much purpose except to demoralize and hurt people.

What we say affects a child more than we ever imagined. I still remember how I felt when my parents told me I was 'lucky' that I got 99 marks and questioned why didn't I get 100 marks instead. Such words can really make a child feel inadequate and unworthy. 

Let's remember to always be kind and to say only positive and constructive things, especially to a child.

.::. People .::.

I came across a quote that resonates deeply with me that day - "No one can ever pay you what your free time is truly worth." 

Ahh. Time. Most (if not all) exchange our time for money. While we may (or may not) enjoy work, there's always an opportunity cost when we choose how to spend our time. At work, I often see people who are so fixated on climbing the corporate ladder in pursuit of certain titles and pay. When they get promoted, they inevitably spend more time on work with more responsibilities, stress and travel. Then, they buy bigger cars, move to bigger houses, yet have less time for their children, family and themselves. It's almost amusing to observe these behavior and wonder, are these truly worth your time? 

It all boils down to priorities, maybe they are truly happy with what they have achieved in life - a title that they wear proudly and the high standard of living.

While work can bring purpose in life, is it truly meaningful when people spend all their time on work to maintain a certain quality of life?

.::. Repainting .::.

In  a few months' time, we would have reached our MOP (Minimum Occupation Period).  *OMG* Next year would be the 5th year since we've got our place.  Time really flies, doesn't it?

So, after our vacation in Boracay at 'The Lind' hotel, I was very inspired to paint our room.  I liked the color palate and design of the new hotel and this darker blue-grey color along their corridors.  I liked it enough to persuade the husband to paint our place together.

The main colors were greys, turquoise and blue-grey, I really liked the style of the hotel.





So, we went to buy paint and brushes and spent a few weekends on painting our home.  The husband made some not-very-functional newspaper hats.  To small for me, we didn't use them.

Initially, we only wanted to paint the master bedroom and one wall in the guest room.  I wanted to paint a stripped wall, that would also look great when the room is converted into a nursery *someday*.  Alas, the husband suggested chevron stripes instead, knowing that I liked them more - BIG MISTAKE.  Let's just say that chevron stripes are extremely tiring and time-consuming to paint.  We spent at least 2 days on that wall alone.

First, you had paint a base coat, the lighter color of the chevron strips.  Then, you need to measure the walls and decide on the dimensions of your chevon stripes to make it fit nicely to your wall.  Then, we used cardboard to make a few of these shapes as stencils to mark the walls with pencil and tape.

We took hours to finish and align this wall, and we drew arrows to remind us which area needed paint.

Tadah!  After taping, paint the areas that should be painted, remove the tape and touch-up.

Here's the completed guest room with our pull-out bed:




By the time we painted our master bedroom, it was a breeze.  We finished in a few hours with all that taping, moving furniture and 3 coats of paint.  We used Dulux Connecticut Blue for our master bedroom, a lot darker but I quite like it though it did not exactly turned out as what I envisioned (and there's quite a few other shades of blue and greys that I liked too).

Here's the 'before' photo:



And here's the new color:

Oh, and I received a set of bedside tables as my birthday present this year too!  We got rid of the wobbly Taobao ones we got when we moved in and upgraded to these beautiful solid teak wood ones from Second Charm.  The husband said 'May our marriage be as solid as our bedside tables!'.

.::. Scaling Heights .::.

Since the Nepal trekking trip few years back, I have been saying that I want to start climbing stairs to train my fitness. Well, years past and I've never tried climbing the almost 20 floors up...till this week.

I have climbed almost 20 stories up TWICE, simply because I was on a conference call on my phone while driving home (after tuition and violin lesson). I was afraid that the call would drop of if I took the lift. Gosh! It's a darn good HIIT workout and I'm drenched in sweat by the time I'm home. At this rate, I can try climbing the 40 stories up soon!

 

.::. Things I'm Thankful For .::.

As we grow older and start working, life inevitably revolves around work and seemingly endless to-do lists.  Most of us spend most of our weekday at work, and all we have left is a few hours of free-time to do things that really matters.  Many don't even have that few hours and it's easy to lose sight of what is truly important and be thankful for what we have.  It's easier to complain than to be thankful.

Personally, I’m most thankful to have the husband and being in a healthy, happy relationship minus all the drama and ambiguity that some struggle with.  Perhaps because of this, it has made it much easier for me to be positive, at peace and happy every single day.  But it's also perhaps we are happy and thankful for each other that we have a healthy and happy relationship.  

On a daily basis, I’m thankful that there are so many simple things that make me happy:

-          I’m happy when I wake up after a good night’s sleep, especially during the rainy, cooling nights.
-          I’m happy when I see the husband in deep sleep or preparing for work when I open my eyes
-          I’m happy when I see Chikey and his wagging tail
-          I’m happy that I am healthy and have a job
-          I’m happy that I don’t dislike my job and it helps me to fulfill all my other goals
-          I’m happy when I get my coffee and fill my tummy with yummy food
-          I’m happy when I think of what to eat next
-          I’m happy when I get to knock-off work on-time
-          I’m happy when I can cook a home-cooked meal for us
-          I’m happy when Chikey snuggles up to me
-          I’m happy when I go for my music lessons and spend time on my piano/violin
-          I’m happy even when I do my music theory homework!
-          I’m happy when I teach tuition, knowing that my kids adore me and I have made an impact on their lives
-          I’m happy when I try new recipes and cook yummy food
-          I’m happy when I go to the gym, being able to go and strengthen myself
-          I’m happy when I do grocery shopping and grab some good deals
-          I’m happy when I get to meet my friends and hear updates from them
-          I’m happy when I do housework and make my home a better place
-          I’m happy when I pick the husband up from work
-          I’m happy when I have enough to give back to the community
-          I’m happy when I can travel and experience all the beauty in the world
-          I’m happy when I see beautiful sunsets
-          I’m happy when it rains and the weather becomes cooling
-          I’m happy when it’s sunny and there’s clear blue skies

The list can go on forever, because I'm always happy about all these little things.  I think the husband has an easy job, because I’m really easy to please.  Just buy me some yummy food and I would be smiling like I won the lottery. I think we are very similar in this aspect, that we both dislike drama and negativity, just like things simple and to be happy.  Being happy makes it easier to face the other challenges and negativity that sometimes seep into life, although I try consciously to distance myself from negativity.  I really don’t quite understand why some people spend their life complaining and being unhappy, or choosing to see all the bad in their lives!  It’s never about circumstances, it’s always about your own thoughts.

Being alive, healthy and able is itself such a blessing – if only everyone could think this and be happily thankful.

.::. My Angel .::.

Quarter-ends are especially bad, I've been working late the whole week AND keeping up on all my tuitions and music classes. Sometimes, I wonder how I do it too, maybe it's good training before kids come along.

So today, I'm slogging at work and about to rush to tuition when the husband called. He finished work early and was about to reach home. He picked me up from work, had a quick dinner with me near my tuition place and gave me the car keys so I could drive home while he took a bus home. *awww* My heart melted a little and swelled with love, feeling really thankful. Thank you darling. Thank you for being so thoughtful when I really needed it.

We could have had dinner near my office and I send him home before driving to tuition, but I was too tired to handle driving and rushing then.

He's probably the most unromantic man who's also an angel. It's these little thoughtful gestures that make me so very thankful for him. 

I'm pretty much brain-dead by now, but some moments are worth writing down and remembering - so I can remember all the good when he drives me nuts. =P

.::. Cra-cray Days .::.

Some days, my schedule goes like this:

0700 Get out of bed
0830 - 1730 Work
1800 - 1845 Piano Lesson
1915 - 2000 Violin Lesson
2030 - 2300 Conference Calls
0000 Bedtime!

Thursdays are always crazy, but Thursday is almost Friday so it's okay (it rhythms!).

Today was exceptionally crazy, because it's quarter-end closing week and yesterday was a public holiday.  Losing one day on quarter-close week is bad timing.  I hope I don't have to work till midnight like the last quarter!  It's going to be a long day tomorrow.  I'm in between calls now, and tired.

Weekdays are mostly crazy, and fulfilling.  I teach tuition on 2 other days and often have conference calls at night.  I always have Friday nights free, and usually another weekday night free.  Some days I rush back to cook and food-prep the day before, other days I use the slow cooker to cook soup.

Life's cra-cray, but good.  Weekends are always gym and mini-holidays around our little island.  It gives me immense pleasure when my tuitee who got 17 marks last year and failed all his tests improve to a good 57 marks the last exams.  My tuitee adores me and sometimes I threaten to 'quit' if he doesn't work hard.  It makes me feel great that I'm making a difference to someone's life.  Work pays the bills and helps me to be financially free, but it really helps when the company has values that align with your own and we get to give back to the community often.  Violin and piano is challenging, I wished I had more time, but the progress I make gives me a huge sense of achievement.  I'm nearer to my goals everyday and most importantly, I'm happy.

Happy with everything.

Time for next call!

.::. Simply Better .::.

These 2 years have been very fulfilling and packed, and something that resonates deeply with me recently is this saying : 

‘It doesn’t get easier, you just get better.’

Remember the times when you have to do something new and how difficult or even impossible it seems? I have been there many times these two years. 

Most recently, it was at my new job where the learning curve have been extremely steep. During my second month was the quarter-close and budgeting deadlines when everyday was a race against time. For the first time in my working life, I wished that the weekend wouldn’t come, just so I can have more time before my Friday deadlines. One Friday, I left office near midnight, it was also a first in my working life. But the thing is, I knew that I was just slow and figuring things out, and it would become a lot easier the next time. After 2 months at my new job, many things have become easier although I’m still learning.

I also started driving to work last year when I was still working in Tuas South. I was always nervous about driving, simply because I barely drove since I got my license donkey years ago. I drove a few times and during our USA trip, but my parents never liked me to drive. They were always worried that I couldn’t get out of my own gate and my dad told me that it’s cheaper to take a taxi in case ‘something’ happened. So when we got our own car, the husband made me drive while he sat beside me. We all know how things go when men sits in a car with a female driver. He’s the strictest teacher, constantly reminding me and screaming at me when he thinks that I did not check my blind spots (even if I did!). He also made me parallel park. A few weeks with him later, I drove myself to work a rainy day when I overslept and had to cab to work, yet refuse to pay half a tank of petrol when my car is sitting downstairs. He was supposed to drive with me together to work the next day, since he was on leave and wanted to be with me on my first drive to work. I asked him for permission to drive to work, he said up to me, but later told me to drive carefully and keep a safe distance as it’s raining. Since then, I drove myself to work and picked him up from work.  I constantly ‘hear’ his reminders even when I was driving alone. I still get nervous about driving to a new place now and then, especially during peak hours or when it was raining. I still remember how stressed I was driving up my violin teacher’s condominium carpark – it was those old condominiums with narrow ramps and waist-height walls. I had to go up 6 ramps before I reached the visitor lots and I counted every single one, heaving a sigh of relief after I made it safely every. A few months on, it came so naturally to me that I actually went higher than I needed to. Nowadays, I actually enjoy driving most of the time and I’m no longer scared or nervous about tight spaces nor parallel parking. Weekends are my favorite me-time when I get to drive to the gym and do some shopping. Amazing what a few months can do, isn’t it?

Having played the violin and piano for more than a year, I’m constantly amazed by my own progress.  Whenever I am frustrated when it comes to a new piece, my violin teacher never fails to remind me how I used to struggle with ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars’ just a year ago. 15 months after I first picked up the violin, I passed my Grade 3 ABRSM exams. I don’t think I imagined this much of progress in one year, yet one could actually do so much in a year. I struggle with piano more than violin though, because coordinating 2 hands and 2 melodies and reading from different clefs is really a challenge. I take months to play a song well, yet what used to be difficult could become easy after some time. I’m finally playing Yiruma’s River Flows in You now!

With all these lessons over these 2 years, I am no longer daunted by new challenges! As long as you keep working on it, everything would become easier after some time - only that it did not get easier but you simply got better!

.::. 2016 Resolutions .::.

This was in draft for months, and before I got it published, it's already March!?

2015 Resolutions (and some of 2016):

1. Be more disciplined with exercise and diet to reduce fat % and become leaner/stronger.

While I have gotten stronger and have been keeping an active lifestyle, I don't think I got leaner nor reduced my fat %! This is a constant struggle especially after I started driving to work and consequentially walked less. We did spend more days strolling at Botanical Gardens and brought Chikey to Sentosa to swim and stroll at Sentosa Coast after we got our car though.This shall be a constant work-in-progress every year!

2.Reading more news and books to enrich myself and to meet my financial goals this year.

We have been pretty disciplined and have not spent much on big-ticket items this year. Even holidays were pretty muted to Indonesia and Boracay, Phillipines this year. I also took up additional tuition assignment out of interest and for more supplementary income to cover our addional petrol expense or my music lessons. To some extend, this also helps to mitigate earned salary-risk, given that my income and job was not exactly stable with a 25% workforce reduction in 2015. Financial goals were on target or slightly ahead. We need to persevere 10 more years before she finish our mortgage and become financially free. Hoping to be more disciplined with savings to be ready to take advantage of any market downturn.

3. Learn a new instrument – violin and piano

After starting violin lessons in January and piano lessons in March, I took my ABRSM Grade 3 in February 2016. It took considerable hard work and some stress towards the end, but I'm so glad of the progress I've made. People think I'm crazy, I think I'm crazy too, but it has brought me immense pleasure in playing and making all these progress. There’s still a long way to go, but I hope to continue on this journey in the many years to come!

4. Reduce clutter and organize the home.

We did quite a thorough spring cleaning before Chinese New Year! The house is the cleanest since we moved in, but I still need to continue de-cluttering and organizing my (many) stuff.

5. Experiment with new recipes and cook/bake more often.

Highlights of the year was Prawn Noodle Soup, Chicken Rice and steamed fish! I also cooked for my family's reunion dinner in 2016! I haven't baked much though, it's too fattening and the husband doesn't like sweets.

6. Finish ACCA

Like finally! *wee. No more guilt for not spending my weekends studying and no more night classes! You know what's worst than studying or working? Studying AND working. I can't believe how I used to rush to classes after work and got home past 11pm, only to get up at 5am for work, and still have to find time to study among everything.

2015 was a year with many milestones, but has not been very lucky for me. For one, I lost my wallet the first time in my life, together with all my cards. The wallet was 5 year-old but in very good condition, purchased in New York during one of our trips. I also dropped my phone and cracked the whole screen epicly. Work has not been the smoothest too given the downturn in O&G and dreary environment. There were also many hospital admittance for the family. But as a whole, it wasn’t too bad a year as we still chugged along happily and I achieved most of what I set out to do in 2015.

2016 is supposedly a good year for both of us, and I indeed had a pretty good start.

In 2016, I hope to continue the momentum and make more progress on these core goals.

1.       Stay active and healthy – now that we’ve a car, we do walk less but we can do more. I hope to have more active weekends since the husband does not like to exercie. Shall plan more walks to botanic gardens and MacRitchie, and to bring Chikey out more often to the beach. I also hope to continue my weekly gym sessions and I’ve been planning to start Kayla’s BBG program again. I also cook less often now that we can quickly and easily drive out to eat. I also pick the husband up often, and drop by somewhere for dinner before coming home. So hopefully, I can continue cooking few times a week for more nutritious and healthy meals.

2.       Save and Invest – We are pretty much on-track for our 10-year plan, but it might be more challenging with a car. Given our current lifestyle we should be alright, especially since we’ve cut down on traveling.

3.       Do more – Although the husband and I donate monthly, and I take part in charity programs now and then, I hope to do more for the less priveledged. I have been urging the husband to join me to do some volunteer work but he hasn’t been too keen about it. He thinks that I should take the time to do more for our place (like more housekeeping and packing my stuff) instead of spending the time to do others’ place. =_=” Perhaps we can work out a few one-time off events to volunteer at. Children and animals always have a special place in my heart.

4.       Practice more -  After my Grade 3 exams for both violin and piano early this year, I hope to play more of what I enjoy instead of preparing for exams! Looking forward to work on my dream pieces and perhaps save for a violin upgrade.

5.       Love more – life is too short to be too busy for your loved ones. Broadly, this includes more cooking, more housekeeping, more quality time together with all my loved ones.

I can’t believe that I will be turning 30 very soon I have turned 30. I don’t feel like 30, although I do feel that at this age, I am in better control of my life in all the different aspects. It might be a scary thing to age for some, but I realized that time gives you a perspective that nothing else could.

Time. Time is a very scary thing that is slipping away every second and can never be recovered. I was looking through my old stuff like photos from secondary school and my studying materials in school and from my time in Sweden. I threw most of them away, but I feel this sense of loss and emptiness, like I can't bear to let go of those wonderful times. It's another topic all by itself, but well, time pass us by way too quickly.

The husband is away yet again on a work trip. It's during these times when I'm home-alone and free that I spend more time reflecting. I know right, how did he become such an integral part of me that I feel a sense of emptiness and a dull ache of loss without him?

To another wonderful year ahead! =)

.::. Parents .::.

One of the best things that you could do for your parents is to let them worry less about you, live well, be well, be happy. Yet it may be easier said than done when what they want for you might not be what you want for yourself, and it becomes a delicate balance.

.::. My Love .::.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

I have been wanting to write about love, about my love, yet love is such a difficult concept to describe so lets just leave it at that. Has it been almost 11 years?

.::. Taking Stock .::.

As we are concluding Q3 and going into Q4, I’m glad that 2015 has been another great year, though not exactly lucky for me. I got into an accident, hurt my feet and lost my wallet the first time in my life.

Most of the goals that I’ve set for this year has been checked off the list though.

I have finished my ACCA exams, and is now officially a CPA Affiliate! Not that I’m going to find another job to be an accountant; nor does this change much of anything. I’m glad that I’m done with studying. Studying while working is really tough, especially if you would actually want to have a life. So glad I'm done with this one. =)

An unexpected event threw us off our plans though – we got a car. Yes, I know, absolutely foolish financially when we do not need a car and have free transport to work. It’s an additional expense of almost $2k if not for some help from this parents. It's still a substantial sum of money that could be invested for early retirement and holidays. Although I’m now excited about having our first ride, I can’t say that this has not weighed us down financially and perhaps mentally. I dislike liabilities and hate having to worry about money. After all the sums, we can probably afford it, but things will be different if kids come into the equation and we can no longer enjoy those amazing holidays. If not for the over-trade rebate from the MIL’s old car, and relatively cheaper COE now, we probably wouldn’t have done it. Having said that, since it’s a done deal, we must make sure that we get most out of the car. I’m already planning weekends out with Chikey, and the many places that I always wanted to go but couldn’t without a car. This almost translates to pay more to spend more. =_=”

And with 9 months on my violin, 6 months of piano classes, I’m preparing for Grade 3 ABRSM exams early next year! It brings me so much joy to be able to do what I love and make so much progress over the months. It’s hard work, but it’s a process that I actually enjoy, more than studying for ACCA!

Fitness wise, I’ve been pretty consistent this year till recently. I love BodyPump and BodyCombat, and all the muscles that I'm building. It feels great being stronger and having the energy to do all I do, though my mum constantly reminds me that I'm too 'fat'. It's annoying, but it's also amazing how because of her, I have learnt to not let peoples' opinion of me bother me too much over the years. Life is too short to bother about what people think. 

And here is a picture of us, scaling 2 volcanoes in Indonesia after our exams. It was another great adventure. We climbed Ijen in the dark, leaving the hotel at midnight and reached the top before daybreak. I hope that we stay fit enough to do this again! And I hope that I get to sit down and write about this trip, and our 10th anniversary trip to Maldives last December. And there was Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh.

The haze is making me so allergic and I’m relying on my inhaler at times. Apart from necessary, I’m hiding at home as much as possible. I have been coughing since weeks ago too. I hope this haze goes away soon! Shooo~

.::.Life's too short.::.

As I jot down my goals and things that I would like to do or places that I would like to visit, it hit me really hard that life is too short.

My twenties simply flew by in a blink of an eye. Poof and I'm almost stepping into my Big 3. How am I going to get so many things done?

There's no better time than now to start doing what you truly desire - a mental note to always follow my heart and not wait for the 'right' time.

.::. Those Days .::.

You know, there are some days when you simply feel like hiding in the covers and not do anything else? Except that it's been quite a few such days in a row and I feel miserable. It must be PMS and period cramps!

It's one of those days when you wonder what are you supposed to do with your life. 

.::. Insurance .::.

This struck home recently as a close one suffered from a sudden heart-attack at barely 40 years-old. Due to proximity and criticality, she was admitted to a private hospital nearest the workplace. Few days and an operation later, the hospital bill came to a 6-digit figure. She’s still in the ICU, and it’s still a long journey ahead. With just the basic MediSave without additional cover, it covers a very small fraction of total cost. It’s really a stressful period as the family have to cope emotionally and financially.

Just this year, we finally sat down to do some financial planning for the family. For years now, since before marriage, I have been trying to get the husband to examine his insurance policies and coverage. Being financially trained, I see the importance of insurance and financial planning early in life, as soon as possible. The husband has been someone who does not like to handle stuff like that. His policies were bought by his parents and he was always told that he ‘has everything’ and is covered, no need for more insurance. This dragged on for years as he was reluctant to take any action.

Finally, we looked through his policies this year as I was also looking to increase my coverage. He has a hospitalization plan that does not cover the deductible portion plus a cap for total claim amount and an NTUC plan that covers a grand total of $25K. Needless to say, I was horrified and insisted on getting him covered. The $25K coverage will not even cover his funeral expenses, I morbidly exclaimed.

My advice to all working adults is to get full hospitalization cover as soon as possible. I’m the ‘buy term and invest the rest’ type, and also have (early) critical illness coverage - 不怕死，只是怕不死。(loosely translated as ‘not afraid of death, only afraid that one do not die’). Any illness or accident can potentially wipe out decades of savings with unimaginable financial and emotional stress for the family.

My dad is someone who does not believe in insurance and always complained about the profits made by insurance companies. He also thinks that it’s ‘expensive’ since insurance companies have the right to increase the premiums anytime during the coverage. However, when premiums increase, it usually reflects the increase in healthcare cost. He also thinks that Medisave ‘is enough’ and he does not mind being treated in public hospitals. However, I beg to differ and have come across so many instances where Medisave is grossly inadequate and that public hospitals might not give the best or even ‘sufficient’ care when you need it most.

I will always remember the sight when we visited his grandmother at Changi Hospital. It was a 6 or 8 bedded non-aircon ward with no full walls across the whole level. ‘Rooms’ were separated by chest-level walls, and you can look across the whole level and hear everything. There were many old people, some in worse condition than others. Many were groaning in pain or perhaps trying to talk. It was a very disturbing sight that never fail to haunt me. I hate hospitals. I have also been to many public hospitals, and the nurses were curt and sometimes rude and lack patience and compassion. Doctors were often trainees who does not seem to be very sure of what they are doing. I have also heard of many horror stories and bad experiences around me. Compare that with a private hospital - the whole environment, doctors and nurses are really a world apart. It really hit me that you get what you pay for. If I ever need the hospital and critical care, I really would want a comfortable environment and not have to worry about bills.

Of course, the best insurance is always taking good care of one’s health with regular exercise and a balanced diet. Go for regular checkups and listen to your body. However, one really wouldn’t know when sickness may hit, especially with longevity. Get insured before anything happens and you become uninsurable. I’m very thankful to have met a really great insurance agent who gives me constant updates and informs me whenever he’s out of town. I am also invested in healthcare stocks and funds, which I believe is a growing yet resilient industry.

Health is wealth and nothing is more important than one’s health! While physical health is the focus here, mental health is also something one should be mindful of.

If you are not covered by insurance yet, please do your family a favor and consider getting covered.

.::. Reconnecting with Music .::.

For a very long time, for some strange reason, music disappeared from my life. I loved music as a child. My dad used to like classical orchestra music and some Chinese pop songs. He always played it loudly on his huge speakers. I also sang karaoke with my aunts and uncles with the huge black disks. I went for those Yamaha music classes at Clementi. I always remembered the tutu-kueh that my dad bought for me after every lesson. But soon, I got bored as the Yamaha group classes spent most of the time singing and clapping and playing using only one hand for the year or two that I had classes there. I stopped lessons after some time, but have learnt how to read notes and play some simple songs. By the time I was in primary school, I wanted to learn the piano, but my parents didn’t allow me to learn. They told me to focus on streaming in Primary 4 before thinking about the learning piano. I naively thought that I could start learning the piano if I did well. When I was finally done and got into ‘EM1’, I asked to learn the piano again. They again refused and asked me to focus on the demanding curriculum in ‘EM1’, and make sure that I do well for PSLE. By then, I was playing the keyboard in our school ensemble and they thought that it was enough. I never asked to learn piano again after that but self-learnt some pieces I liked on the organ that I had at home.

By the time I was in Secondary school, I spent most of my money buying mando-pop and Jpop CDs. My dad used to scold me endlessly about my ‘spendthrift’ habits, money that I saved from that little pocket money I had and money that I’ve saved from working after school when I turned 15. We had a karaoke system at home and some cheap VCDs that my dad got from China. I spent lots of time singing and playing some songs on the piano that my parents got for my sisters. I even wrote some songs with basic cords and sent them out to record companies during those crazy days. By the time I was done with JC, music started draining out of my life. I stopped playing the piano ever since my sisters got better than me. I stopped listening to music because I preferred silence and had simply had no time. I started dating the husband and spilt my time teaching tuition and working part-time outside school. I finally saved enough for my first trip on the plane when I turned 21 with the husband. I’ve no idea when or how, but music just crept out silently and made way for everything else.

I loved the quiet and stillness during the year when I was in Sweden. It was calm and tranquil and I loved seeing the scenery go by when I was traveling on trains or buss around Europe. I loved wandering on the cobbler stones roads and watching the world go by. During those days, the basking violinists on the streets left a deep impression on me. Sometimes it was freezing cold, and sometimes it was sunny and warm, but the violinists on the streets always sounded so beautiful. For the first time ever in my life, I wished that I could play the violin as beautifully.

By the time I’m back, it was all forgotten and tucked behind my mind. I got busy with life again, and then the house and wedding came. It took some time before we’re finally settled down and comfortable before I entertained thoughts of learning the violin again as I’m finishing my ACCA exams. I don’t think the husband truly understands this side of me that he has never seen before in the past 10 years. He might have heard me sing, but never have he heard me play. I don’t think he even believed that I could play any instrument. Even for my closest friends, they probably haven’t heard me play either. Probably only nana who played alongside me on the keyboard in the primary school ensemble remembers me playing.




My beautiful piano was delivered few months ago, and I have been taking piano classes for the past month. I can’t believe it’s happening, that I could be crazy enough to empty my bank account for a long-lost dream at this point of time. I now have a 4-year-old a Yamaha U1 Silent piano that I got second-hand from a parent whose child does not want to learn the piano anymore. Parents buy such expensive toys for their children nowadays! I'm now playing Grade 2 songs on the piano, and it was a struggle trying to relearn what I used to know.

So here I am, half year into learning the violin and playing Grade 3 songs. Although my teacher tells me repeatedly that I’m doing very well and learning very quickly, I always feel that I’m not doing well enough nor fast enough. Maybe it’s me trying to make up for so many lost years, but it suddenly hit me that I’ve lived with a void for so many years. I have forgotten how music fills me with so much happiness and brings upon a firework of emotions in me. I have forgotten how much I enjoy playing music and it really makes me wonder why did I ever stop.

As an adult learner, it’s really an uphill climb that takes some determination and commitment. Although it really helps that I can already read music and have a good feel musically, violin itself is a difficult instrument to learn. It’s getting more difficult as I’m finished Book 2, but my bowing has improved exponentially. I don’t dare to imagine a day that I can play without tapes and can sound really smooth, but I’m just working on sounding better than I did yesterday. I practice almost everyday now and sometimes even I amaze myself at the progress I’m making. I was learning Minute 3 aka Lovers’ Concerto and it was my first time trying to play slurs. It was so awkward and I sounded really horrible, yet after like 3 hours of practice, I started getting used to the bowing and it actually started to sound like a song. Slurs now feel natural! Learning the violin trains my patience and taught me that everything takes time. To get from here to there, it simply takes time and effort. I know that no matter how difficult things may seem initially, it will get easier and I just need to keep going at it. Things simply do not happen overnight, the whole process takes time. It finally hit home that everyone has 24 hours a day and it’s a consistent and persistent choice daily that one has to make to get to where they want to be.

I have no idea what hit me, but after learning the violin, something reignited in me and I feel more alive than ever upon reconnecting with music. I suddenly seek the piece of me that I forgot existed. I suddenly have this urge to play the piano again and to be better than I used to be. Sadly, when I touched the piano again, I can’t remember how to play the songs that I used to know by memory. Playing music sometimes enable you to lose yourself in the melody and to go into another world that is far from harsh reality. I wished that the husband could join me in my musical world and feel what I feel, and I wish that my children can know music and have a place to escape to when reality gets too harsh. I’m thankful that the husband has been supportive all these years – 谢谢你重荣我的随心所欲。He even bought me a music stand and violin stand when I mentioned in passing that I needed to get them. And when I was insistent about getting a piano, so I can learn and have my children grow up in a musical environment, he grudgingly agreed after some resistance with space and noise concerns.

It's amazing how much progress I have made this year, and my teachers are sending me for Grade 3/4 exams next year. I'm really enjoying the process and have hopes that I could finish Grade 8 just so that I can make it my retirement job in future. How amazing it would be to fill my days teaching children music, bringing them into a whole new world. =)