.::. Growing Old .::.

Just a short one before I conk off.  Been a busy start of the year, and many deadlines to meet this week.

I hate visiting the hospital, with the exception of perhaps the maternity wards.

Visited his grandmother in hospital last week.  She feel and broke her hip.  She's almost 90 and isn't too clear-headed these days.  She was so healthy and strong just a few years back, going everywhere by herself.  I used to joke that his grandma was more happening than him, having more programs lined up than he does.

It all went downhill after she had a stroke.  She can barely walk now and you see the sorrow in her eyes.  The loneliness and helplessness.  I wonder how does one feel when you come to that stage in life.  She's a shadow of who she once was and reliant on people now.  She was in so much pain, but luckily the operation was a success today and hopefully she could get well soon to attend our wedding!

I hate the hospital.  She was staying in Changi General Hospital and the wards have no doors nor walls.  There are only partitions to separate 'rooms' and you can look across and see all the patients on that level.  There is no aircon nor TV, and the worst part is listening to the other patients in pain.  Most of them are old and shrunken.  They look so tiny and weak in the bed, with needles and pipes sticking out from them.  Some of them could not really speak, and some of them are probably in pain, making all sorts of sounds.

I look at them and thought, it all comes down to this.

I told the husband, one day, we will become just like them.  And I hope that I could afford a more private ward where I could rest in peace.  The sounds torment me.

It made me acutely aware that life is short.  People tell you that all the time, but it's till when you reach a certain stage in life that you actually feel that way.

I made a mental note to savor every moment in my life, be thankful for the good times and learn from the bad.