.::. Church Wedding .::.

We attended his neighbour's church wedding a few weeks back because his mum couldn't make it.

It was at St Andrews, a pretty place.



The place was decorated with flowers.

The march-in.

The happy couple. The service took like forever, and the couple were on their knees, hurdled together with the priest, in deep prayers, like they're sharing some big secret. I seriously cannot connect with a wedding like that, much less imagine MY own wedding like that.

Us.

*sigh. But, if I were to marry this man, that probably means that I've to go through this. While church weddings are pretty, I can't connect with it and I think most of my friends and family can't wait for the service to be over.

What if I nod off at my own wedding?

.::. Decisions .::.

Sometimes, there are things which you struggle with for a long, long time. It's not always easy to know what to do.

Then suddenly, you wake up one day and everything becomes clear.

I have decided.

Even if no one loves me in this world, I'm going to love myself and live my life the way I really want.

No more sleepless nights, no more breaking down in tears and no more struggles. I'm not going to put my happiness into someone's hands, someone who can't decide on what he wants and allows others to plan his life. I simply can't accept 'I don't know' anymore. I really can't.

.::. =( .::.

I'm depressed.

But nobody can help me but me and I can't continue wasting my youth feeling like that.

My way of dealing with it? Sleep. Sleep it off.

Tomorrow is Monday again, and I'll have to face the world again. Hopefully some yoga will help.

.::. Religion? .::.

Picked this up from facebook -

Having a religion is like having a penis.

It's okay to have one. It's even okay to be proud of having one.

But you can't just whip it out in public and start waving it around.
...
And it is never ever never okay to try and ram it down someone's throat.

- bbriani3842

.::. Longing .::.

I woke up this morning with an aching longing for Sweden. In my sub-conscious state, images of my life there flashed through my mind. It felt so real, I can feel my mood and my feelings then. I can feel the cold wind lashing onto my face as I hastened my steps, the moments when I felt so touched to be so far away from home and expereincing these. There are times when I experienced or saw something, and really felt like locking that moment into my memory and sharing it with all my loved ones. I wished they were there to experience and savour the moment together with me.

I almost wished that when I opened my eyes, I was back in my little room in Sweden and I can walk out to admire the autumn leaves. It's difficult to describe, but I felt really carefree there. I liked having lots of time on hand, planning to meet the girls for dinner and meeting random people, hearing all sorts of stories about other's lives. It's like a discovery all the time.

It is Autumn there now, and it's turning cold and grey. I really miss the change of seasons, observing the changes in weather and feeling the gradual dip in temperatures. We enjoy complaining about the weather, how it seem to go colder and colder, darker and darker.



Autumn is beautiful, but I can't decide which is my favourite season. It might well be summer in Sweden since it's so sunny yet so cool. It's one of the rare times I really enjoy the sun.

I was so happy. It's been more than a year since the apple festival! My roommate still sent me a message about how a year has passed and the apple festival is here again.

*sigh. I reckon I'll never look so cute anymore.

The flashbacks these days made me decide that I must visit Sweden again someday.

If life was measured by the moments that took my breath away, then mine would have been worth living. It was the first time that I felt that I could die with no regrets, even if I dropped dead. *touch wood.

I reckon one should not be greedy and there's always a time for different things. I have indulged, and I should work hard now, to build a life together with someone I would like to spend the rest of my life with.

I'm really thankful.

.::. Proposal .::.

He's finally back!

After weeks of planning, it was a success. =)

We made her go back to CCHS in the evening while everyone was already ready in the lecture theatre. The video played when she walked in and he came out to play a tune on the violin before going down on his knees and reading out this awfully sweet letter. The dear girl started crying once she sat down and didn't stop till the whole thing was over. *awwww.

So touching, seeing your best friend through all these years (11!!) and then witnessing a happy ending. =)

I told the boyfriend, if I don't cry when he proposed (which is quite impossible), I'm not going to say 'Yes'.

I'm looking forward to this weekend. *grins.

.::. D.I.Y. .::.

That's what I've been doing all Sunday. It really takes time to D.I.Y. stuff, making me really cherish things which people put effort into.



The half-done buntings - it's very pretty!

3D flowers which Joey folded. He folded all of them (while watching and laughing to Top Gear)!

Another half-done bunting on paper dollies.

And these beautiful hand-made stuff which my sisters helped make. It's supposed to be spaced apart to be draped/hung.

It has been a productive Sunday, we worked all day. It was hard work, but everything turned out to be very pretty. *beams. =)

.::. Balancing Act .::.

This was about a month ago, during a company event to Sentosa Island, Megazip adventure park. Honestly, it was a huge challenge for me since I'm afraid of heights!



The view from the Megazip platform and the beach. It's a very steep plunge!

The first stop was some obstacle course on the ropes. It was so scary! I had to balance and walk on a rope, holding on to things like that ball above and some ropes. It was quite a distance from the ground, and I can't imagine lossing balance!

It just took me alot of concentration and focus, I just tried to feel my body and look straight ahead.

My second stop was the megazip because I skipped the parajump - which is like a freefall. You just jump down a platform with a rope behind u, like jumping down a building. I just couldn't bring myself to do it!

I was really feeling scared looking down from the platform. But there was no other option since we had to get to Siloso beach and I simply can't back out. It was really quite steep and fast, my heart nearly popped out during the first few seconds. It got slower and better after the inital plunge, and I realized that going down with ur back first was less scary. It was actually quite fun, I thought of taking pictures from there, but obviously I didn't manage to.

It was really fun, and a big accomplishment for me!

.::. Marriage? .::.

Realizations:

(1) IF, we were to get married, we need at least 30 tables. We counted, both of us have very big families and there's his mum's clients. It's costly! Moreover, it's not something I really look forward to - imagine planning it and having to entertain and take pictures with more than 300 people on that day, the different opinions and wants of everyone. He stated the obvious - wedding dinners are for parents.

(2) I need to have a church wedding, his mum said so. It's nice, I like it - but I'm not a Christian. I heard that to have a church wedding, I'll have to go through a counselling session and sign an agreement that I'll bring up our children the christian way - something which I'm strongly against. Why? Because do not want to bring up my child telling him that there is only ONE god and he must serve him. I want him to be know that there are many religions around, many 'gods' around, and really understand religion before he makes his own choice. Can I insist on having a temple wedding too?

(3) We cannot buy our own place and I'll never get to deco my own house.

I'm really not sure how much I can compromise and give up. I don't see any benefits of getting married, when nothing is what I want. It's all about what other people wants.

Who cares about what I really want for MY wedding?

I was telling him, how I know I'll never ever be happy working for a corporation who do not give a damn about their employees who are easily replaceable anyway. I'll never be really happy being an accountant or a financial analyst or even a CFO. All these achievements are just, pointless to me at the end of the day. I'll work, just for practical reasons, to earn money.

He told me, I had a choice. If I really wanted, I could start my own business, open my own cafe and go learn baking in France. He's even willing to support me if he could. WOW - at least I've got the man right (I think). Realistically, I do not have a place to practice. Just look at my kitchen, nothing delicious would ever come out from a messy kitchen! Which comes back to (3) - I can never have my OWN kitchen to cook and bake and entertain guests.

I feel less trapped, knowing that I still have many choices. But it takes alot of courage to stand up for what you want, against what everyone wants for you, not knowing what the outcome will be.

Every girl yearns for the perfect wedding, and half of me do yearn for that. Yet coming to reality, nothing about the wedding is what I really want. I tell people, I'm not sure what wedding I really want. Secretly, I don't dare to want or expect anything because I know that I'll be sorely disappointed. I'd rather try to not expect or want anything. I'm going to be very upset (for life) if I'm not happy on my wedding day.

The other half of me, intends to avoid my own wedding till 5 years later like what the boyfriend plans. Maybe buying my own flat at 35 does not seem like a bad idea either. Sometimes, I just do not know what I really want. It's not like what I want could ever be materialized anyway - it's just about how much compromises I'm willing to accept, and I'm really not sure.

At the end of the day, there are many different ways to live one's life.

Marriage? Seriously, not now, not the near future.

.::. Sunday brunch .::.

There's many delicious food around Joey's place, and one of my favourite is the mee pok!

It's really nice, arguably my favourite meepok in Singapore. It's one very simple yet Singaporean dish which I missed so much in Sweden. I made my own substitute noodles with sambal chilli and black vinegar, but it never even tasted close!



There are a few 'famous' ones around his place, but this is the original one. It's called 132 mee pok, used to be at Jalan Tua Kung. ieatishootipost rated it 4.5/5 and there are many 'fake' ones around. The wait is at least 30 minutes and many people queue up for it willingly. They'll be moving to Marine Parade soon though.

I love it, because the noodles is very 'springy'. After having the mee pok there, I never do order mee pok at normal foodcourts anymore. I'd always try to have the best!

Having said that, I like the 'fake' Jalan Tua kung mee pok at the coffeeshop beside the NTUC too. I like it that they're very generous with their chilli and vinegar, it's so spicy that it's very shiok for me - I love my food spicy. However, the standard there is not always consistent, it doesn't taste good at times, when it's too dry and less 'springy'

Overall, I reckon the 'original' one tastes better!

Nice food around his place includes the original FuLin yong tau hu that Jo likes, the famous chicken rice and the famous zhe cha opposite his place. We eat alot at Katong area too! Katong's Aston seem to taste better than the other outlets somehow.

The boyfriend 'brushing' Chinook's teeth after I cut his nails. He's so cute.

We spent the weekend watching the F1 race, watching a movie on the laptop, and...sleeping. Hahs. While I do not get all the hype about the F1 race, I did get alittle excited watching the race. Too bad Hamilton got our of the race - stupid Webber!

It's Monday - again! *sigh.

At least I enjoyed my weekend.

.::. Girly Saturday .::.

I've been looking forward to this weekend, because I (finally) have no classes and the girls are meeting up for brunch and shopping! Jo's been making me really charged and excited this week, it puts me in a good mood everyday. Hahs!

I got up bright and early and got to Wild Honey at about 1010am. Goodness, it was already crowded on a Saturday morning. By the time we managed to go in, it was already past 11am.



I like the feel of the place. It's so homely/cosy, and it tries to mimic breakfast at home. It has such a causasian feel to it, the idea of getting up for brunch/breakfast in a cosy setitng.

My 'European' breakfast with eggs benedict. I love eggs for breakfast and I prefer a savory breakfast to a sweet one anyday. I like all sort of eggs, english-styles, chinese soft-boiled styled with dark sauce, scrambled, sunny-side-up. Hard-boiled eggs are my least favourite. I prefer bacon and ham with eggs and baked beans to pastries and scones too. The only difficult choice is pancakes/waffles with maple syrup - I like that though it's sweet.

Breakfast reminds me alot of my life in Sweden. I made my own breakfast often, met up with Emma and the girls for home-cooked brunch often. We made our own scones and pancakes, tea, coffee and all. I liked making scrambled eggs with bacon and toast, sometimes with sausages and baked beans too. Those were the days, happy and stress-free with lots of time on hand.

With dear Jo, who looks so young here! Why huh? Is it the 'glow'?

With dear Ju and her beautiful drink!

It's been forever since I shopped like that for the whole day with the girls! We went to all the branded jewellery and dress shops, it has been tiring but fun.

There's still lots of stuff to be done, but I'm really excited! *jumps around.

.::. It's Friday .::.

It's finally Friday and I'm so tired!

Little brother is back home. =)



The boyfriend finally got his pair of customised Oakley with degree. He has been wanting them for years, and I think he looks good in them. Hahs.

I'm looking forward to brunch and the search for 'the perfect dress' tomorrow!

.::. Exertion .::.

I finally went for Bodycombat/Kickboxing after more than a year because the class at Suntec is always full even when I tried calling in advance! I went to the Vivo branch today and it's so much less crowded. I almost forgot how much I enjoyed it. I love the energy and intensity of the workout, it lets out alot of frustration when you continue screaming while punching with all your might even though all your muscles are screaming in protest. It just feels so good! I love that it's a whole-body workout and an exciting one at that (unlike jogging for me). By the end of the hour, I was so tired. I was feeling alittle giddy after the workout and I'm 101% sure my thighs, arms and back will be aching tomorrow. This is totally opposite from yoga which brings you calm with the breathing and stretching. I actually enjoy both.

Age is really catching up. You can feel it, subtly but surely. It takes alot more effort to maintain one's fitness and metabolism level. Even when it comes to skincare and maintainance, it takes more effort too.

I've only been working for 6 weeks, yet I can totally feel by butt and hips expanding and filling up my chair! Exercise once a week doesn't seem enough at all. My colleague was telling me, as you start to age, you can feel your body going downhill, even when you eat something. Exercise is a case of diminishing returns and you get less returns from your workout as you age. That - coming from a woman who has had 3 kids and has more muscles and stamina than most men - is indeed scary.

I feel tired today, in a good way. It was been a good workout and I welcome the aches tomorrow. At least my muscles are talking to me, which means that they are still there.

What I love about my current job is that my colleagues and bosses are really nice and that I don't have to work late. Some work-life balance and some time for personal goals injects some happiness into one's life.

.::. Reality check .::.

I have been dreaming about Sweden alot lately. I was strolling on my favourite beach, the sky is so blue, it's so sunny, yet it's so cooling and I'm feeling totally at peace, breathing in the crisp fresh air. Seriously, I have never felt more at peace with myself when I was there.

Since I'm back, I'm constantly on my toes. There's seemingly endless things to do everyday and I hardly get enough rest to actually stop and really reflect on things I've been doing. I just have to keep going and tick of things on my to-do-list. I simply do not have time for everything. I wished I had more time to rest, to sleep, to spend with the girls, to stay at home, to be with the boyfriend and to simply do things I feel like. It's like a constant fight against time and I'm always at the lossing end.

I seldom look at my watch in Sweden. There are days which I wake up, make myself a delicious breakfast, go online to catch the boyfriend, then stroll to the beach for a walk and pick up stuff from the supermarket on the way back. I never had to rush, and I can come back to cook, to read and to do whatever I felt like doing.

I have to remind myself that I'm back in Singapore and that's city life.

It's officially Monday. So, what have I done this week?

It has been a hectic week with all my montly reviews. But I'm done with most of the work for the month, the next 2 weeks will be relatively slow. =)

I survived this crazy weekend, 20 hours of classes. I can only find solace in having my favourite tau huay near midnight, after many hours of class. Then we had Udders' with waffles before going for class on a Sunday. Thankfully class actually ended early enough for us to catch the Man Utd - Liverpool match tonight. Man U won! It really feels like we're stealing some time to be together.

There's the meeting up with my ex-colleague for dinner, followed by drinks with the girls on Friday night too. I've been drinking quite a bit this weekend, I'm all red with bloodshot eves tonight.

Ahh. I'm looking forward to the next few weeks because Jo is getting ROMed and there seems to be like lots of things to do. *excited. I'm looking forward to next Saturday's brunch and dress-hunting! It's so girly and I can't believe it's 10 years since we were secondary school kids.

I've no lessons the next 3 weekends! I just have to be disciplined enough to find some time to finish all the homework. And I'm lookin forward to some yoga since I skipped it last week. I totally need some yogaaaa.

I guess I'm starting this week with a relatively positive note. =) Bring it on!

.::. 69 months .::.

It's the 18th again, our 69 month anniversary. =) Although we don't celebrate it (at all), I always make it a point to remember the date and feel thankful for having someone in my life.

Now that our dear Jo is getting married, or ROM (*excited), it makes one even more reflective about relationships.

Every relationship has its own set of problems and sometimes people who love one another do hurt each other. But I'd always like to believe that no problem is too big for two to solve if both are willing to put in the effort and simply try. Once one party gives up, the relationship is over.

Relationships are hard work and takes time to grow and nurture. Marriage takes even more hard work and probably faces alot more problems. It's a scary thought for me, when all other forces come to play. As much as I would like to have someone to cuddle in bed with every night, marriage is totally not on our (my) cards within the next few years.

Mummy says that marriage is a gamble. It's true, it takes a leap of faith and faith is believing in the unknown - blindly, simply believing and hoping although nothing is absolute.

I'd always like to believe that things happen as long as you have enough faith.

*sigh. We have all come such a long way and I'm feeling all warm and mushy inside.

How time flies!

.::. Humour? .::.

The boyfriend says the most =_=" things ever, and you can't decide if it's funny or what.

We were having dinner at Morton's (this famous restaurant for steak) for his birthday. I love it when they serve their famous warm lava chocolate cake for FREE and sing a birthday song for you. I heard that it costs about 30 bucks if you actually order it. So, when I was enjoying the smooth warm chocolate, he suddenly commented...

"Woah, imagine you can eat TWO Astons' steak!"

Then, when I was still enjoying the cake, he suddenly made another comment...

"There's alot of foreign talent here hor?"

Goodness! The waitress and waiters are a diverse bunch of people, seemingly not many Singaporeans. But still, what a comment!

He says the weirdest things which makes me go..... =_="" ??!!

.::. Crazy Men .::.

Today, I saw a crazy man on the road, trying to block cars from moving. He left this long metal thing that looks like a gun on the floor and was shouting and gesturing with his hands. He even banged on the bonnet of cars who had to stop in-front of him.

It's the second time I saw such an incident this month. The last time was outside 126 when we were having supper after my class. He threw his backpack on the road and started blocking cars, banging on them and shouting.

I don't know what happened at 126, since that man was no longer there after we finished supper. But at City Hall today, the police came. I went to get my DSLR accessories at Peninsular and saw a commotion when I came out. That man was lying on the floor, curled into a ball, shouting god-knows-what. 2 policemen stood beside him and looked at him, looking seemingly helpless. People were gathering around them, taking videos and pictures

I wonder what did they do with people like that. I reckon all the police could do is remove them from the roads and perhaps inform their family to bring them back.

Is it a coincidence that I've been seeing incidents like these recently, or is it that more people are going crazy? And why has stopping cars on the road become so popular?!

Is Singapore becoming too stressful a place to stay in, resulting in more people going crazy?

Food for thought.

.::. His Bday BBQ .::.

@ his place



Us, with his favourite pandan cake, probably the only cake he actually eats. Thanks Ju for going to get it!

'My' friends who has become 'his' friends too.

'His' friends, whom I haven't seen for a long time.

I don't like the differentiation! Friends are friends, right?

Jo's so happy while Joey and Shing is 'examining' his present. Hahas.

I hope everyone had fun, especially the birthday boy.

Many thanks to everyone who made this happen. It's nice to have everyone gather and laugh together. I love hosting gatherings and parties, that's why I really want my own place badly!

.::. Long Weekend? .::.

The 'long weekend' flew past. Monday is peeking again. I realized that I only have some time during Sundays to reflect on my week before the week goes into full throttle again.

So, what have I done this 'long weekend'?

I brought my sister to the movies on Thursday, since she wanted to watch 'Liar Game'. By the time I hit the sack, it was already 2am.

I was supposed to have brunch with the girls at PS Cafe on Friday morning before class, but I really couldn't. I felt to tired and flu-ish. I ended sleeping in and finishing up on homework before rushing for classes. I had dinner with Joey after classes and went to get stuff for the BBQ on Saturday. After getting the meat and wings marinated, I only made it to bed at 2am again!

Saturday was classes, then straight to his place before everyone arrives. At least it was something which I've been looking forward to, and it's nice to have a gathering. I always love a good BBQ. My marinated wings were yums, so were the pork belly! We ended the night playing 'Taboo'. I had fun, and I hope everyone did too, especially the birthday boy.

By the time we cleaned up, it was already 3am. He insisted on cleaning and washing everything, so obviously I can't leave him doing it alone. I was so tired, it took all my will power to make it to class again today. I spent almost 20 hours in class this 'long' weekend, and there's another 20 hours of class awaiting next weekend. =(

That's it. My 'long' weekend was over. It wasn't long enough for me, and it's Monday again!

I'm still so tired, I can't differentiate if it's physically or mentally. It's mentally draining to go for classes, having the lecturer screaming that we should revise everyday and do this and that. *goodness. I don't have that energy.

It's a long and busy week ahead.

.::. Work is... .::.



My desk.

My cubicle.

The office.

Work is...
1 cup of Milo with fresh milk
3 cups of green tea in my disney cup
toilet breaks to rest my eyes
1 apple during teabreak
lots of excel spreadsheets, reports and graphs
pivot tables and vlookups
powerpoint
excel
excel
excel
bordem
fatigue

I'm excelling at my job, literally. I feel high from it - it makes me dizzy when I stand up after too much scrolling and vlookup between sheets.

That's work for me.

Thank god I have a nice boss.

.::. Venice .::.

On hindsight, I loved Venice. It's beautiful and all, but I felt it was overrated when I was there. It was really tourisy and expensive, only tourists stay there these days. Most people who work there stay across the bridge, at Mestre. It's quite sad though, because most houses there are empty, owned by rich people who only come to holiday during the summer. Normal people will not be able to afford houses in Venice.

It isn't that big and you can cover almost everything in a day. We only spent about half a day there, but it was sufficient. We took a boat-taxi from the town to the main square where the main sights were, and it cost us like 5.50Euros for that 20minute boat ride. In short, everything is extremely expensive.



You probably can't leave Venice without a ride on the gondolas. We struggled for sometime before going on it, simply because it's REALLY expensive. It was about an hour's ride, through many small canals. At least the boatman helped us take a nice picture in the middle of the main canal.

We were on the main bridge, which was in the first picture.

Venice is post-card beautiful. I loved walking through the very narrow streets. It's like a maze, because the roads and buildings are not straight and not all of them have bridges for you to pass. Sometimes, it's a dead-end. Joey was the one navigating with the map, while I snapped away. I like the feel of the place, yet we agreed that we will not want to stay any longer.

It's definitely worth a short visit, for it's so unique, building a whole city on the sea. No roads, no traffic lights, no cars. Not to mention that it's really beautiful too. Gotta visit it before it really starts sinking!

.::. This Weekend .::.

Friday was the company's 'Team building' activity in Sentosa, so we barely worked. It has been a tiring Friday since I did the Climbmax and Megazip! Climbmax was this rope obstacle course, and I'm still somewhat amazed that I did it. My whole body ached this weekend. Megazip, this really high flying fox was also an achievement considering that I'm afraid of heights. *phew~ I think they have many unsightly pictures of me taken on the course. Then, there was the weekly meet-up with the girls. We had steamboat at Upper Thompson - yums!

Saturday was the usually lesson-day. Nothing worth mentioning, only lots of revision and homework to do. Need to find some self-discipline to work harder. I satisfied my craving for durians though.

This weekend passed by without me coming online! My poor laptop is being repaired for it's cracked screen, and I spent most of yesterday night and today reading Dan Brown's not-so-new book, 'The Lost Symbol'. I really loved it, especially the part about Noetic Science and how men's thoughts can actually 'make' things work. I like the idea that thoughts actually do have true power, and how thinking about something might actually make it come true. I also liked the idea of how god actually wants us to create new things instead of submitting to him. It was a really good read, very intriguing. I want to read it again!

It's Monday yet again. See you again soon, weekend.

.::. Malay Village .::.

I've been having lessons every weekend at SAA, Aljunied. It can be quite tiring and depressing to have lessons till 11pm! Luckily, Joel comes to pick me up and have supper after classes most of the days. We had my favourite tau huay at Geylang Lorong 39 although both of us didn't have dinner (we were still full from the buffet in the afternoon. He suggested that we visit the Malay Village after and we went.

Honestly, I'm not that keen, and I was tired. But I'm mostly up for anything he suggests, since it's extremely rare that he opens his mouth and actually wants something. It was somewhat a date, since we really don't seem to do much apart from having meals together these days. The last time we visited the Malay Village (and my first time) was about 4 years back, when he was staying nearby. I still remembered that we got some malay snacks too.



The pretty lights that reminds me of Christmas on Orchard Road.

The pretty decorations, it's just like Chinese New Year, but obviously the malay version.

They also have bak kwa (barbecued pork slices)! But it's Halah and obviously not made of pork.

There are many shops selling colourful traditional malay costumes and this apparently famous cartoon character on the right. We saw many kids hugging the toy, but have no idea what character is it.

I think it's very cute that the whole family tailor-makes similar clothes for the whole family and wear it out to visit their relatives during Hari Raya. You can always see the whole family taking the train during that period, all decked out in colourful traditional costumes in similar colour and design! I kinda want to visit a malay friend's house for Hari Raya to experience how they celebrate their new year, but I only have one malay friend and I can't invite myself right?

I enjoyed the 'date' though. =)

.::. Life @ Sg .::.

It's probably me. I can't seem to really feel happy with spending most of my days working. I sit in my cubicle, stare at my computer and numbers for 8 hours a day. I should be thankful that I only work 8 hours a day. After that, I'm mostly too tired to do much. I even enjoy spending my weekend sleeping.

I'm not unhappy, it's bearable, just that, there's nothing to be happy about even though I pretty like my job. I'm just detached and emotionless, telling myself that it's something which I just have to get used to. It's like, even though I feel accomplished after completing something, I can't find satisfaction and meaning to life. What's the value of contributing to a corporation's exellence? One is easily replaceable and insignificant.


Being practical, there's no other way living in a city like Singapore. There are bills to pay and everything needs money.

I'm apprehensive. The road ahead appears to be half a lifetime of staring at the computer to generate enough income to do things like get married and have kids. I feel so trapped thinking about that. Responsibilities which will officially tie me down and force me to do things just for the sake of income.

At the end of the day, everyone has a certain lifespan and everything comes to naught.

This sound so depressing, and I'm sick of hearing people tell me, that is the way it is.

Everyone has a choice, just that we always tell ourselves - that is the way things are. But is that really true? We prefer trying to convince ourselves that we do not have a choice and continue the way we are.

Apparently, I am one of the many, being brought up to survive in this society, convinced that by working hard, we are contributing to the society's growth and our future prosperity for all.

Seriously?

How many of us are truly happy and contented? Are we really better off?

.::. Ethan's Birthday .::.

It was Joel's newphew, Ethan's birthday again this weekend. His birthday is always somewhat special, because I met his family for the first time, 6 years ago. It's amazing how time has passed us by.



The shy birthday boy. He's in Primary One this year. He doesn't dare to talk to me most of the time, but he actually did this time round. I haven't seen him for more than half a year...

The happy family.



His cousin insisted on taking a picture of us, so here goes. Glenn used to pose for many pictures when he was younger. Both of them have grown so big now. In fact, all of them have grown so big...which can only mean that I have grown older. *ahem.

This year's celebration was at Parkroyal hotel. I was dismayed that it was a 'Teochew porridge' buffet, but to my delight, there's sashimi!!! The food was medicore and nothing worth mentioning, the service wasn't that great either. The restaurant was barely filled at all, but I enjoyed the sashimi. I have been craving for sashimi and I bet we got our money worth! I think I was too busy eating, the lack of pictures taken.

It's nice to see those kids again. =)

.::. Anniversary .::.

It's our 68th month anniversary today. We met up for a simple dinner after work. I can feel us moving into another stage of our lives and a different way of maintaining the relationship. Dinner after work, lots to share about and getting home early to rest. Two people, trying to move in sync towards the future. The best thing is having someone to share with, knowing that there's always someone to fall back on.

I'm thankful, thank you god.

.::. Working Life .::.

Work is pretty great. It's not that I do not get tired or bored, but it's as great as a job can get. I do not think that I'll ever find a job that I'll actually like and would rather work than sleep in. Everyday, you get up at the same time, get to work at the same time, it's a routine which you just get used to. Thankfully, I do get work on time too! My boss is really nice and there are no mean people around too. I'm really thankful that I do not have to put up with screaming bitches and endure listening to swear words every single day.

I went for hot yoga today, and it nearly killed me. Very nearly. I wanted to do Body Combat before hot yoga, luckily the class was full and I spent an hour going on the treadmill, step machines and weight machines. It has been...3 months since I really exercised, though I did spend a month walking 12 hours everyday. My muscles were either too tired or too stiff. I had so much trouble maintaining the different positions and my muscles started cramping! I used to be able to do those poses with ease a year ago. *sigh! I hope my muscles will have mercy on me tomorrow.

The boyfriend finished work late and we ended up meeting for dinner. We really shouldn't meet up so often and eat out, since both of us are pretty broke. It's funny how he spent the whole dinner, and whole night complaining about his job. It's not that bad, but he has lots of complaints and comments and contemplations. I seldom see him so vocal about stuff, going on and on for hours. He even said that I have to listen to him complain every night.

It's heartwarming knowing that no matter how bad the day was, there's someone to listen to you at the end of the day.

.::. His family .::.

Took pictures for him and his family some weeks back.

Him and his grandma. Grandma used to love buying 4D and she could remember all sorts of numbers. I won 4D the first time that she gave me a number, though I only won like $30? She's always the hip one, asking me to stay over and telling me all sort of stories while he happily retreats to his room.

His dad loves Chinook. It's very funny observing both of them, because Chinook always lay on the ground instantaneously whenever he tries to pick him up (to make it more difficult). Then when Chinook gets picked up, he always look so helpless and resigned. His dad always locks Chinook in the room while he bathes too. He tries all sorts of ways to attract Chinook and Chinook probably has a love-hate relationship with him. Super funny duo!

People really do grow old. His grandma used to be very energetic and went out often. I always teased Joel that his grandma is more happening than him, since she goes out more often! But sadly, while I was in Sweden, his grandma had a mild stroke. Since then, she has weakened alot and do not go out herself anymore.

I should really be thankful that his family is really nice to me. =)

.::.这个周末.::.

最近周末都得上课，一次就要上8小时，真是要我的命！上完课后，总是累得不得了。实在太久了，而且我真的很讨厌这门课。我想我真的需要找时间坐下来，好好地温习。不管怎么样都一定要过关！昨天上课就被问了三次问题！追残的是有一个周末要连续三天，每天都上八小时的课。

时间过得太快了，不知不觉，一个星期又过了。

上班了一个星期，其实还算不错。可是现在有点感冒，还是好好休息。

他明天第一天上班，是我们一起为将来加油的时候了。

最近做梦都会莫名的梦到瑞典。好想念瑞典，好想念在那里认识的朋友和生活方式啊。